You are part of the problem with healthcare today if...

[360joules]

If, in your "healthcare job" you never touch anything but paper, or smell anything but coffee, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

If your job description DOESN'T have an annual requirement to be on your knees, geting freaky with Resusci® Annie, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

If your hospital department is closed on Christmas Day, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

If the "alphabet soup" after your name on your employee badge is LONGER than your actual name, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

If you have an assigned parking spot for your 9-5 job, while the 24/7 clinical staff walks from their assigned parking 1/2 mile away, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

If, from your primary work area, you couldn't see an actual patient with binoculars, but earn twice as much as those who do, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

If there is an "RN" after your name, and you NEVER, EVER wear anything but business clothes to work, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

If "every other weekend" is NOT in your job description, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

If you've ever written a memo that had the words "mandatory in-service", "self-education module" and "during employee's spare time" and distributed it via company-wide email, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

If the trunk of your car is full of pens, post-it pads, pen holders (and other trinkets with a brand name drug on them) that you hand out by the thousands so you can bribe your way into spending 5 minutes shmoozing a physician, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

If you have NO IDEA why the blue thermometer tastes better than the red one, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHCARE TODAY!

-- 360Joules

(with kudos to Jeff Foxworthy)

[Otessa, BSN, RN]

Not to be insulting, I'm sure the floor nurses are not surfing the internet at 1:00pm on a Monday.

It is satire, not a personal attack. Chill.

on my lunch break....

[HealthShepherd]

Oldest trick in the book... you make an verbal attack on a person or group, then when someone calls you on your crap, you say "But it was a joke! What's the matter, can't you take a joke?" Please. And hey, what are you doing on the internet on a Monday afternoon?

The thermometer bit was funny, though.

[360joules]

I'm off today.

Must be nice to get a lunch break.

I've choked down more granola bars over the med sink than I'd care to admit.

[aura_of_laura]

"If nurses spent more time laughing instead of cutting each other's throats, this would be a much more attractive profession"

Well said.

Satire is only funny if there's some truth to it. What you posted insults a large number of nurses and ancillary professions, insinuates that we are not "real nurses," and slammed a lot of necessary tasks (such as employee education) as a bunch of hooey. Not to mention the tasteless comments about marketing reps.

At my hospital, administration (myself included) took a 5% pay cut and lost all of our vacation time this year - direct care personnel (including floor nurses) did not, and are still getting their raises. I'm on call 24/7 (as are most administrators) - darn right I'm taking my holidays and weekends off.

[360joules]

I dunno... The venomous reactions from you "business casual" folks (at 2:00pm on a Monday) suggests there may be a little more than a grain of truth to my satire, and it makes you uncomfortable.

Maybe some of the other "education-phobic clinical ninnies" can chime in and offer some support.

When they get home from work.

On their personal time.

Good day.

[imintrouble, BSN, RN]

You admit an end stage, non-resposive alzheimer pt with "mental status changes". Then keep them hospitalized for a month, for physical therapy.

[LivingWithTheBreeze]

I'm glad there are people out there who are the "problem with healthcare" that deal with all the beauratic crap so I don't have to!!!

[GitanoRN, BSN, MSN, RN]

Enlightening... to say the least... however, just like luvRN's & 360joules stated previously in order to run a facility there has to be someone in charge, hopefully someone that has the capability of recognizing the needs for our patients without neglecting their staff. In addition, I'm a true believer that if you the CNL are not the example to your staff you can't expect your nurses to deliver a high standard quality of nursing. Therefore, I'm one of the few that comes in when the staff is short-handed and rolls my sleeves and perform all nursing duties side by side along with my staff. In addition, I strongly disapprove those called leaders that when the tough gets going the only effort they perform is spending 45min. searching in other units for nurses to cover their own staff, and believe that they have accomplish the solution. In the other hand, I get on the phone explain to my assistant what my staff needs while I'm performing nursing duties wherever is needed. Lastly, I would like to address all of my colleagues RN,BSN,MSN CNL as myself, not to forget the main reason why we became nurses, also to keep in their office several scrubs like I do when your help is needed; trust me your staff will never forget that you came to their rescue when the tough got going you brought your skills to the table, and got acquaintance once again with the main purpose of serving the highest caliber of nursing

[360joules]

Therefore, I'm one of the few that comes in when the staff is short-handed and rolls my sleeves and perform all nursing duties side by side along with my staff. In addition, I strongly disapprove those called leaders that when the tough gets going the only effort they perform is spending 45min. searching in other units for nurses to cover their own staff, and believe that they have accomplish the solution.

God Bless You.

Where do I send my resume?

What kind of unit do you manage?

[pennyaline]

Not to be insulting, I'm sure the floor nurses are not surfing the internet at 1:00pm on a Monday.

Don't be so sure. I've seen a lot these last few years.

It is satire, not a personal attack. Chill.

No, it's not satire. It's what you think satire is. If it were satirical, it would point up how and why the seemingly useless folks in suits are absolutely indispensable in dysfunctional health care today. You didn't do that. You just posted a pity party about how nurses who work in administration are hurting health care as a whole because they don't do patient care like you do.

[laynaER]

I don't think all the business casual need to get so sensitive. If you truly felt you were doing the right thing, then you wouldn't be offended. Pennyaline, I don't think 360joules meant that all people who are in administration are the problem with healthcare. I believe she was writing the post in regards to people who are like dead weight and think patient care is beneath them so they sit in their office making all these decisions that do not impact them, but the people they're making decisions for. There is no need for anybody to be getting touchy because lets be real. Dead weight exists in every organization whether they're lazy nurses who work on a unit, or administration who act like they're allergic to patient care and only want to sit with their feet up on a desk.

[ProBeeRN, BSN, RN]

I think that this is the overall problem with nurses- we are so quick to attack our own kind! Was the original post a little narrow-minded in respect to nursing's diversity? yes. But for every bedside nurse, on some days, with too little staff and management with deaf ears, those points absolutely ring true. We've all been there.

We can't keep attacking each other- the TICU nurse looking down on the psych nurse, the med/surg nurse looking down at the school nurse. I feel like we get so beat up and abused by the system, doctors, the public, etc that we get super-defensive and turn on each other, trying to prove why our job is the most important or the most stressful or makes the most difference. We are ALL nurses. The nursing process applies to all of us in one way or another, whether we are direct caregivers or not. And the vast majority of management has already been in the shoes of the direct caregiver (at least I would hope so). So maybe it's a little too hippie-chick of me to say so--- but can't we all just get along?