Yikes! =O - page 2
Took care of a 12 y/o tripping on acid last night. (Yes, TWELVE!!!) :eek: His parents called from the car to have security meet them at the door...they had to stop in the middle of the street, b/c... Read More
Jul 27, '02Joined: May '02; Posts: 278; Likes: 5Originally posted by SmilingBluEyes
I am not his friend, just his mom...
Involvement in school sure helps too-- you learn which kids to steer yours away from.
Jul 27, '02Occupation: LTC Joined: Mar '01; Posts: 3,254; Likes: 53...And don't let them watch too much TV...I'll never forget when my son was 5 or 6 he asked me what's a tampon for and what's a yeast infection? Are these commercials necessary???
My house is always loaded with kids. I always said that our house is the community play ground. I know where they are and what they're doing and that I know is a good thing. You get to know their friends and what they're all about...and when your kids grow up they become like you and raise their kids the way they were raised...and that's when you know you did it right.
Jul 27, '02From: US ; Joined: Oct '01; Posts: 6,238; Likes: 1,829We are one of those houses where half the kids in town hang out. It gets really interesting since they are all teenagers (17-19) ...good grief, some of kids that "moved in" when they were 10-12 are still hanging out at 20-21. What amazes me is how many of the 'regulars' are only children, or the youngest/oldest to siblings with a big age difference.
It is not an especially big house but big enough. There is room to play 'home run derby' and football in the front yard and a basketball hoop in the driveway. We have way more TVs, VCRs, DVDs, video games and computers than one household should have...but the kids are just as likely to play cards, dice or board games.
A substantial part of our grocery budget goes to snack foods, fruit, sandwitch makings, pop and juice...and don't forget- ramen. We are a family of 4 but I have no clue how to cook for 'just us' (if you cook dinner they will come).
On any given night there are 2 extra kids asleep somewhere around here.
The rules are extensive but simple:
No smoking in the house
No drugs, do not come here if you are high, yes we can tell
No drinking, do not come here if you have been (even if >21)
If you eat, you do dishes
If you use it, put it away
Call home and tell your parents where you are
Do not block husband & my cars in
Be quiet after 11, some of us have to get up at 5am
If you use the washer and dryer make it a full load
If you finish it write it on the marker board
Write down and deliver phone messages
It is not a lifestyle for those who need peace, quiet or order but any negatives are far outweighed by the positives: I know where my kids are, what they are doing and who they are doing it with. Sadly I can say the same things about my kids friends than most of their parents can.
Jul 27, '02From: US ; Joined: Oct '01; Posts: 6,238; Likes: 1,829Has anybody else seen those commercials about talking to your kids...the who-what-where-when ads.
Sheesh...things are pretty bad when we have to have public service ads to educate the public on how to parent!
Jul 27, '02Occupation: RN Joined: Feb '01; Posts: 1,840; Likes: 218Kids-r-fun, I just last night said that to my husband. When we
need parenting 101 on TV, it's really pathetic. I have a 12 yr old son who is scared to death to do drugs...my husband and I had many talks with him and let him watch "Cops" with us (WITH us). He can see how stupid and illegal drugs and alcohol makes people.
Jul 27, '02Occupation: Retired Joined: Jul '01; Posts: 4,288; Likes: 31I have my kids (this summer) working one one big science project (I like my 11 year olds project of identifying every bug on our land) They have to read at least an hour a day ( I never have to nag them about that) and they have to do a journal entry daily.
We also do math, play lots of games, take the horses out a lot and ride the motorcycles plenty. My new 8 year old (adopted in April) caught his first fish this month and my 15 year old daughter approached me to have a daddy daughter talk about maybe starting dating this school year (I was strong with her but cried behind her back).
I'm proud of my kids but I am STEADFAST in my belief that communication be foremost with the family. There are NO SECRETS and even when we mess up (parents too) we admit it and carry on.
Jul 27, '02Occupation: FNP Specialty: FNP, peds, epilepsy, mgt., occ. med., ed ; Joined: Mar '02; Posts: 1,821; Likes: 1,563A couple of years ago there was a study published that basically said that kids whose parents knew where they were, who they were with, and what they were doing, plus I think who paid attention to what they watched on TV/in movies and listened to, were kids who were much less likely to get into trouble. (Drugs, alcohol, sex, running away, etc.) I thought it was a shame that we needed a study to tell us what our grandparents could've told us! I think that was actually what started those public service ads.
When the study came out, I asked my older son if we were tougher on him than the parents of a lot of the kids he knew. He didn't hesitate: "Yes!" I said, "Good!" He is 16 now and I realize that in a couple of years he will probably be out on his own, in school or whatever. What he does then is up to him. What we've done for 16 years and will continue for the next couple is to give him a basis for making good choices.
I also have a 12 yo son. The thing about the drugs, alcohol, etc. just makes me shudder. I can't imagine my son doing that!
Someone mentioned the 12 and 13yo girls having babies. I'll bet if you checked, a lot of those dads (or maybe sperm donors is a better term) are not 12 or 13 but 16, 17, 18, even up to 21 or so. These cute little girls (and some have very mature bodies!) are easy prey for older boys. It's something I try to talk to the young girls about.
Jul 27, '02Occupation: research nurse Joined: Oct '01; Posts: 1,878; Likes: 44Originally posted by Rustyhammer
By the time a kid reaches the age of 13-14 you are basically done with the raising part. ....the parent needs to be consistant, loving, disciplined and above all they need to be THERE!
Off the soapbox,
I called her cellphone (I know - it's not a life necessity, but I sure like her having it!) and she said they weren't quite done cleaning up - that's all. But I can't ever forget reading about some 16-17 y/o kids who worked in a store where they were robbed and tied up in a freezer or something - they weren't discovered until late the next morning, when the first customers tried to get in!!!! If MY teenager didn't show up on time and didn't call to say why - Mama's out there checking things out!
Maybe that's why they keep me informed? They would be embarassed by wild-eyed, freaky-haired Mama out there checking to see where they were? OH well, what-ever.
Jul 27, '02Occupation: entering LPN school fall 2002 Joined: Jun '02; Posts: 28I tell my 14 yr. old daughter, that when her father gets done with her, (if she ever does drugs), then I will literally kill her. Her father and I never did any drugs. Thats right, I said never. And I expect the same out of her. I was with kids who smoked pot, but I always thought they were stupid for doing it. I never had the urge to touch the stuff. I told my daughter that I would gladly go to jail for beating her if it will protect her in the long run. Of course I might not ever have to worry about this because if she doesn't learn how to keep her smart mouth shut, I might consider getting it sewed shut!!!!lol
Jul 27, '02Occupation: fulltime student Joined: Mar '01; Posts: 2,025; Likes: 1I believ in spanking a child, but not beating a child.......I believe a child should have chores if they get an allowance and have deductions in it if they do not do what they are supossed to do......I believe in homework as soon as you walk in the door before playing......we will give our children the option of a spanking or loss of computer/nintendo(whatever) when punishing......I believe that if any of my children yell at me, tell me to shut up or call me a name as I have seen others do to their mothers then they deserve the slap in the mouth that I will deliver.......I deserve their respect as they deserve mine and when they do not deserve it I inform them of that fact......I want my children to be able to call me from a party if alcohol is involoved and know i will come get them......they will receive some punishment, but not nearly as severe as if they did not call me( I would also pull out any friends of my child and take them home to their parent and let them know the deal).....these are the things I want and the goals I have for my family, but being human I do lose my temper with the kids sometimes and things don't always go perfect.......good luck in parenting to everyone......
Jul 27, '02Occupation: fulltime student Joined: Mar '01; Posts: 2,025; Likes: 1Oh and one more thing......God help the person who chooses to involve themselves in the punishing of one of "MY" children.......I will be the first to step in if I see someone punch a child, but a swat.......not my business and is not theirs either.......I don't take my child to the bathroom to spank them....they have embarassed me if they deserve that spanking in a public place and they will get it so they can be embarassed in public or in front of their friends........my view on that.......everyone else may not agree, but so be it........
Jul 27, '02Occupation: MDS Coordinator, CWS Joined: Mar '02; Posts: 325; Likes: 3I wouldn't want to be a kid in today's society for nuthin. I have a 17 y/o daughter. She is a good girl. The reason? Communication. She tells me everything. She has even had friends stop hanging out with her because they were afraid she would tell me about them, and the stupid things they did. It's our job as parents to listen to our kids, teach them right from wrong. We spend all this time teaching them to fly and we can't just cut their wings when we don't agree with them. If you did your job right you wouldn't have problems, at least that's the way I see it. You all are right on.
Jul 27, '02Occupation: fulltime student Joined: Mar '01; Posts: 2,025; Likes: 1I agree with that......communication is very important.......