Working five 12hr shifts a week

Nurses General Nursing

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I know this is going to sound totally insane, but I am determined to be a stay-at-home mom. In order to do this my husband would have to work the standard 3 12 hr shifts and then pick up 2 PRN 12 hr shifts, as well. Therefore, he would be working 5 12 hr shifts in a week (preferably in a row, nights). This seems like a lot to me, but he swears it will be no problem, as he has never had problems in the past with sleep or feeling tired. I'd love to hear any thoughts on this. Has anyone ever tried anything even remotely similar?

Specializes in Day Surgery/Infusion/ED.
Hon, I think this may just be some people wanting to stir the old stay-at-home mom vs. working mom controversy because some of the responses certainly don't have any relation to the way you have conducted yourself on this thread. You have been very thankful and polite and in your very first post wondered if this was doable. That doesn't sound like someone who wants to treat her husband like crap.

You are doing the right thing in investigating this and your husband sounds wonderful.

steph

Oh please...SAHMs are persecuted only in their own minds. I couldn't care less if a woman works full-time and has kids, works part-time and has kids or is a SAHM.

Comparing one job to another doesn't quite work. Just because one job may suit a 12h day 5 days a week doesn't mean another will. Would you like to get on a plane and find out midflight that the pilot is on his 5th day in a row of a 12h shift?

Even if her husb. wants to do it now, he should definitely have an "out clause" so if it turns out he is not able to maintain that schedule he isn't in a position where he has to because now there are kids at home.

Specializes in Day Surgery/Infusion/ED.

It is also possible to have normal, healthy kids who went to (HORRORS!) day care.

Specializes in Day Surgery/Infusion/ED.
Just noticed from another thread, AggieAmy, that your husband isn't yet finished with nursing school and won't be till next May. I would definitely recommend to him to try out floor/staff nursing for awhile first before making this decision to work 5 12-hr's each week. I too am in school and it's a WHOLE different world when you're actually on the floor with your license than when you're student nursing. I work in healthcare and it's very different from my "student life" which is much easier.

This will teach me to reply to a thread before I've read every response. Your husband hasn't finished nsg. school? He has no clue what a 12/5 schedule is like. Zero clue.

I'm not even sure he would be hired for those hours as a new grad. Heck, not even with exp. He'd get into major OT, which in most places is a huge no no.

Seriously, he needs to get his bearings as a real nurse before you two even remotely consider this very ill-advised notion.

Thinking you can work 5 12's in my book is "stinking thinking" (now I mean five NIGHT shifts NURSING). Its a symptom a lot of people in NA exhibit. You're probably very young so you haven't seen chemically dependent nurses, divorce or death very much but its all intertwined with making decisions which are physically and emotionally dangerous for oneself. Learn to live with a little less and don't allow yourself to become so de-skilled that you couldn't help your family out of a slump if you husband should become disabled.

Although I am actually pretty young, I have seen all kinds of things in my line of work and graduate training in psychotherpy and am aware of the interconnectedness of these things you have mentioned. Some have made the point of what would I do if my husband became disabled or died. This could happen to any stay at home mom. That's what a good life insurance policy is for. Plus, I consider myself equipped and educated enough to find employment is that so happened. It really seems that this has turned into a stay-at-home mom vs. working mom arguement and that was not my intention. I know I started this topic, and I'm pretty sorry I did. People have been so rude and have made me feel rather bad (even though I shouldn't let strangers get to me). I think I have well over enough input and opinions now. Thank you.

Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.
Please do not tell me I will be divorced. You do not know me or him nor do you know our values/beliefs on divorce. Like I said my husband is totally happy with this idea. No one is forcing or pressuring him to do anything. He is a grown man who can make his own decisions. I have thaked people for their advice several times and am considering ALL of it (both good and bad). I just do not like to be called names or harshly criticized - plain and simple. Most everyone has been very nice and helpful, with the exception a couple of exceptions. I never dreamed that some would be so rude.

*** I do not believe that the work schedual you propose will have anything to do with getting a divorce or not. When I was a medic in the army infantry I was often deployed overseas for months at a time and we have a great, stable marriage (I am 35 years old and have been married for 14 years).

My wife is a social worker. When our son was born she went back to work. I worked NOCs and she worked days. Instead of sleeping during the day I took care of our son and farmed. I was beat! When our daughter was born two years later we (as in it was a joint decision) wanted to raise our own children rather than use daycare. We looked at what it would take to make that happen and decided that my working 60 hours was the best for us.

I should also point out that I get great support from my wife. I used to do about 40% of house work, now I do very little. Usually I take the kids to breakfast on my days off (ages 4 & 2) and let her sleep in (I can never sleep past 0500 no matter what). She wants to go back to work when the kids go to school. She is very happy being a stay at home mom and is greatful for all the hours I work and shows it (hint, hint, wink, wink :)

We discussed her going back to work and me being a stay at home dad, but social workers make quite a bit less than RNs in this area and she would have had to work over 80 hours a week to make what I make in 60.

Don't let anyone tell you what will and will not work for your family. Your husband is a grown man and can make his own decisions. If it doesn't work you can do something else.

Most of the female nurses I work with tell me that they would have loved to have stayed home when their kids were little.

One other thing. I work with GREAT team of people at my hospital. I admit it would be hard if I had to deal with jerks at work.

I will say this again, I do not find working 5 12s a challenge, in fact once or twice a month I work a 16 hour shift. I do not find this to be difficult, though on those days I miss the 2 or 3 hours I usually get with the kids :(

I am very sorry that you feel attacked on this thread. However, you did ask, and you are getting the opinion of people who have been there, done that. Clearly you know what you want to do, so why ask?

I will tell you that when I first had my children I was like you and wanted to stay home. My husband (who is a paramedic) worked 5 12s night shift. It was awful. He never saw our children because he was either sleeping or working. There was a lot of stress. Even when he was sleeping, it was often interrupted by babies crying, children playing, lawn mowers, etc., things that my only wake you for a split second, but affects the quality of sleep.

After I had #3, we decided that I would work part-time. My children have never been in daycare. I work around my husbands rotating schedule. It works out. We share parenting. We share housework (although I'm the only one who does it right :lol2: ) My husband is not burnt out. I only work the days that he was off the night before. On days that my husband has worked the night before, he sleeps for a while and then we are both home with our children that are not in school. There is a lot of family time, and my husband gets to enjoy that just as much as I do. My children have thrived on this arrangement. You do not need to be a nurse to have this kind of arrangement. Even if he worked 3-4 12s you could work somewhere doing whatever 2 days a week. It may not be your dream job, but how many of us are lucky enough to live a dream? I know you say your husband is ok with this, and I believe that it is true. While some have been harsh, most of the posters here know what it is like to work 12 hour night shifts and it is brutal. (Yes I once did it too, and hated it.)

Additionally, you husband may not be able to get a PRN job as a new grad. Usually experience is required for those, so it is not something you would be able to do right away.

I do not think that this thread has turned into stay-at-home vs. working moms. I think it is more about an unrealistic and possibly dangerous expectation. In the back of your mind you must have some doubt or I don't think you would have posted.

Good luck to you.

Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.

And about the farmer. Sorry, I just don't see the similarities. The Farmer decides his time, he has ultimate autonomy. He can decide when to use the bathroom, when to eat, when to rest, and when to call it a day.

*** Not quite. In dairy farming it is the cows that decide when the day is over. The work is far more physicaly demanding, and MUCH more dangerous. As a nurse I am at least guarented that I will get paid for every hour I work, farmer have no such thing. The other big difference is that I worked outside all day, every day regardless of the weather. 10-16 hours doing hard manual lablor in 20 degrees below zero is far, far more taxing than taking care of a fresh post CABG or managing CRRT and vaso-active drips.

I have done both and know of what I speak.

Also 12 hours ICU nursing is way less taxing than being shot at for 30 seconds :)

Specializes in Looking for a career in NICU.

What my parents did, and this is something to consider...my father had to work during the day because of his practice, but he worked pretty much M-F. My mother worked the night shift and slept during the day. There were only a couple of hours here and there when we needed a sitter, and with both of them working it also afforded them to hire a housekeeper to come in a couple of times a month to do a thorough cleaning.

We were never in daycare...and both worked full time.

It's something to consider.

*** Not quite. In dairy farming it is the cows that decide when the day is over. The work is far more physicaly demanding, and MUCH more dangerous. As a nurse I am at least guarented that I will get paid for every hour I work, farmer have no such thing. The other big difference is that I worked outside all day, every day regardless of the weather. 10-16 hours doing hard manual lablor in 20 degrees below zero is far, far more taxing than taking care of a fresh post CABG or managing CRRT and vaso-active drips.

I have done both and know of what I speak.

Also 12 hours ICU nursing is way less taxing than being shot at for 30 seconds :)

Thanks for saying this - I meant to add the military.

Obviously people know very little about farming but I will add that I also said my husband drives a logging truck and he actually DOES have other people's lives in his hands on the road. Driving a truck is not physically difficult, except for putting on chains on a snowy road (something my husband did this mornig) or throwing wrappers over the logs. Farming is very physically taxing.

Again - advice is fine and personal experiences are good but to make personal comments about the op's motives is not. Even if she did ask the question, she still deserves to be treated respectfully.

To the op - you can ask the mods to close this thread if you wish.

steph

Specializes in Day Surgery/Infusion/ED.

That's true. Truck driving is dangerous work. Several years ago, a family in my area burned to death when their car was struck by a trucker who was overtired.

I agree, the thread should be closed. The OP was looking for someone to validate something she'd pretty much already decided. She got at least one person who did so. No need for further input.

Specializes in primary care, pediatrics, OB/GYN, NICU.

Just some things that may not have been mentioned already:

- The cost of daycare often eats up an entire second paycheck.

- Tax liability may also make a difference depending on how many shifts worked.

- You never really know how children effect your life (and relationship) until you have them.

Specializes in cardiac med-surg.

i would not ask that of a loved one

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