What's the reason for a RN to be snippy to a new post op pt. ?

Nurses General Nursing

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OK. I don't want to fluff any feathers. I'm simply trying to get an opinion to experienced nurses and try to see this from the nurses point of view. I'm a nursing student so my POV is still very different from that of a seasoned Nurse and I understand this fact.

My mother had surgery today. She was scheduled to have a Hysterectomy and a Tummy Tuck. Her Hematocrit was too low (25) to do the tummy tuck so she just had the hysterectomy and will do a tummy tuck in roughly 6 weeks when she has healed and hopefully brought her iron back up. She has lost tons of weight and kept it off through diet and exercise alone. She quit smoking after 20+ years as well. Needless to say, this was a big day full of ups and downs for her and the whole family. (myself, dad, sister and brother)

Once she got to her room 2 hours post op she was doing as well as can be expected. She was of course in and out of it but pretty much knew what was going on. My dad, sister and I were there in the room. My sister had planned on spending the night with her and helping her with anything she needed. I was helping her with positioning, drinking fluids, answering any questions she or my dad had. My family has always believed that family involvement is very helpful to the nurses and we have always wanted to do as much as we could knowing that nurses are extremely busy and their time is precious. That all being said. My mother's nurse was less than enthusiastic that my mom would get talkative with her, my mom simply does this out of nervousness (esp with people she just met). I told the nurse I was a student and just about to graduate. I could make sure she did her incentive spirometer, kept and eye on her O2 sat, and let her know if we needed anything. Well, there were only 2 chairs in the room. We were all fine with one of us standing and being busy or just simply standing looking out the window during quiet times. My mother however was a typical mother and insisted that there was a third chair in the room. I asked the CNA, my sister also asked the CNA. We were told no problem and she would bring one back when she found one. Two hours pass and my sister and dad go to eat. When they come back my mom, once again in and out of a morphine nap, insisted there be a third chair. When the nurse came to the room my mom asked for a third chair very sweetly with a raspy dry voice. The nurse, in a not so nice tone said she'd try to find one. Moments later, she came back and said "Well here you go but just so you know now the room next to you has to be without a chair because of you. I hope you're happy".

Of course her tone didn't sit well with my mom, dad, or sister. I brushed it off and said she probably has a big workload and is tired. Then a couple hours later my mom was starting to have more pain that she thought she should. I know that the nurse needs to hear from the pt. herself the description of the pain so we called the nurse. Well, she was less than happy to have to discuss this with my mom and simply just said "well I gave you Toradol so any pain you have you just have to deal with"

To me, this is very uncompassionate care. I understand that nurses see a ton of different people, pt's as well as their families. But for my family, this wasn't a daily thing. This was a stressful and difficult day physically and emotionally. My mom and dad don't do this everyday, they paid a lot of money via insurance as well as out of pocket. Of course my mom was upset and didnt' feel comfortable with her nurse. I really wanted to go speak to the charge Nurse about it but I didn't, I left it alone.

Is my family wrong in feeling that this was very unprofessional as well as uncompassionate or as a nurse is everyone supposed to just bow down and be glad you even came to their room and answered the call?

"snippy" is in the eye of the beholder. and all we've gotten is one take on the situation, by someone who is rapidly losing any credibility here!

when pt's are approached that way it's sad to say but nurses lose their credibility as well. :(

Specializes in Med Surg, Ortho.
No. I am most certainly NOT in "customer service". I am a healthcare professional. I do not care what bill of goods the hospitals are trying to sell. My job is to keep my patients safe, to protect them from harm, and to help them to recover from the acute phase of illness and transition to the next level of care. I am not a waitress.

You just described customer service. You are there to protect them, you are providing your

patients, sometimes refered to as clients, SAFE & PROTECTED......you are providing

them with a service as their professional nurse which means the same thing to me.

Just be respectful, that is the point I'm trying to make.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
amen!!!!

i couldn't say all of this because i'm not a nurse yet but i do know this is how it all goes down. families are an integral part of great pt. care! the families matter too and go through a lot to help the pt. it's not easy or fun or even always comfortable, but necessary in today's society!

thank you for this post...maybe some of the sharks will get off my back

you're not a nurse (yet) and you just don't get it. you don't know "this is how it all goes down." you don't know anything.

as for the "sharks" getting off your back -- you asked for opinions. if you don't like the opinions you solicited, that's your issue.

Specializes in Med/Surg.
LOL! Again pinksugar, it is a matter of perspective. When I worked ICU, we would measure urine in a medicine cup to get the accurate ouput. On the floor, you just want to know if they went to the bathroom, much less how many cc's they put out. Go work on a med/surg floor for a 12 week cycle, you might find it is an entirely differently world than the one you are use to working. I find myself everyday saying "when I was an ICU nurse I would never dream of letting someone else do ...." My, my, my, how that attitude changes when you have 24 hours of work to do in 12 hours. Just two weeks ago I got yelled at by the wound care nurse because my patient in 54 did not have the pictures of her wounds taken and on the chart within the 48 hour time limit of her admission, even though this was day 4 of her admission! And it was my fault! So stop what you are doing, and got take down the 48 inch sacral dressing and take the photos, print them and mount them and put them in the chart. Now would I have let the family hold the patient over and the PCT take those pics? You betcha! The blood that needed to be started in 51 was much more important than taking those pics.

Again, it is all a matter of perspective. But I understand where you are coming from. I would like to do it all myself as well.

I respectfully disagree. I've worked on a med/surg floor for 8 years. Just because it's not an ICU doesn't mean that "oh the patient voided" is good enough, not by far. The majority of our surgeons write "STRICT I&O" and they mean it. If the numbers aren't there on the graphic, they raise hell. I need to be the one (or my CNA) getting them up and watching what they drink, because YES, I do need to know how much it was in both cases. It really chaps my orifice when I find out later they've had three cans of soda that I didn't know about, that someone brought them, because it throws off my numbers and I DO have to answer for that.

Yes, it IS nice when there is family that can help them with basic cares, but it's not as easy as having every patient have someone there, and all the care gets done. Not by a LONG shot. I couldn't imagine starting a day the way you described, and basically demanding their family come in and do all of those things for them. That's ridiculous. Yes, my patient load has grown over the years as expectations change, but I still do all of the things for my patients that I used to do . It's MY job. EXPECTING family to do the walks, baths, bathroom trips, and for pete's sake I&O is both irresponsible and unreasonable.

yet here you are, on a board for nurses, preaching about how your poor mother was abused by some mean (and probably old, fat and ugly) nurse. you aren't interested in anyone's input. we get it. you and your family were angels, that nurse was totally out of line. but it seems as if you're not getting anything anyone is trying to tell you. nursing school must be very difficult for you.

i'm not preaching and never said my mother was abused and the nurse was mean. (and she was short, average wt., and fairly pretty) if my family was out of line i'd be the first one to tell them! my point was that if a pt or family is fairly easy to deal with there should be no reason to be snippy to them....it's their family member in the hospital and we're there to do a job. the best for the pt and family is to communicate with them with a sense of compassion in order to achieve optimal results and cooperation from the pt as well as the family. not a bad idea to communicate with coworkers this way to achieve the same results. thanks for assuming i have a learning disability....very mature. fyi...i have a 3.7 gpa and am raising 2 children by myself. i'm doing just fine.

Yes, it was unprofessional and not compassionate. The nurse did not deal with the pain issue appropriately. I am a little surprised that she acted this way with a patient and the patien't's family. I hope it was because of fatigue or some other plausible reason, including burnout, and not the nurse's usual behavior.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
op: i am not going to beat around the bush here. your posts are condescending and judgmental. your only experience as a nurse is as a nursing student in a "perfect nclex hospital". in that perfect world, we would not be hungry, tired, overworked, overstressed, or even need to pee. we would be able to be endlessly chipper, and each of us would have only one patient to care for and all of the chairs and other equipment in the world at our disposal. we wouldn't need orders from doctors to get whatever meds our patients need, and we surely wouldn't have to wait on pharmacy to bring said meds up right away. and in an ideal world, the nurse would never be out-of-sorts.

unfortunately, that is not what the real world is like. hospitals are not perfect, and nurses especially are not perfect. we are human beings just like everyone else. we can't endlessly be the perfect nurse. nursing is so much more than just smiley, happy, have-it-your-way customer service.

i can assure you that almost every one of us keeps trying to be that nurse, despite all the difficulties that are put in our way. your statements that anyone who is not perfect is jaded or should find another profession are judgmental. they are also uneducated in the sense that they are not based on experience and understanding of what it is actually like to work in this profession. that is why you have been told repeatedly to come back after you have had a year or two of experience working in the field.

i'm not saying nurses should just go around being snippy. compassionate care should be the goal of every nurse. but what i am saying is, we are human, and we have our limits. if our limits our exceeded, we might just have a very human reaction of being snippy.

you asked for our point of view, and we have given it to you. no, in theory the nurse should never have been snippy. but something, whether your/your family's actions, understaffing, the patient coding/dying four rooms down, or something in her personal life, exceeded her ability to provide compassionate care. it happens. it happened to you. don't take it personally. it might have had nothing to do with you. either do something to change it, like talking the the nurse's manager, or quit wasting time and energy worrying about it and move on with your life.

:twocents:

after reading pages and pages of this thread with multiple posts from the op justifying her position and judgeing everyone else's, i'm beginning to see a reason why someone might have been "snippy" to a patient. her mother, anyway.

perhaps "quiet" and "undemanding", like "snippy" is in the eye of the beholder.

Specializes in Med/Surg.
you're not a nurse (yet) and you just don't get it. you don't know "this is how it all goes down." you don't know anything.

as for the "sharks" getting off your back -- you asked for opinions. if you don't like the opinions you solicited, that's your issue.

agreed!!

to the op: no one ever said the family wasn't an integral part of patient care, for crying out loud.....but that doesn't mean they do my job for me. your interpretation of that statement needs a lot of revising, stop thinking in absolutes. just because someone isn't agreeing with all of the things you are saying doesn't mean they think the patient's family is of no value or has no role at all. there's a lot of gray area here.

the more you post, the more i think that your original description of the events is inaccurate. if you had any of the attitude that day, in that room, that you do here, it's not surprising in the least why that nurse responded to you like she did.

you're not a nurse (yet) and you just don't get it. you don't know "this is how it all goes down." you don't know anything.

as for the "sharks" getting off your back -- you asked for opinions. if you don't like the opinions you solicited, that's your issue.

i asked for opinions and it turned into a bloodbath. like stated before, it's understandable to be defensive and justify other nurses...only natural. i've not attacked or belittled anyone and haven't said anything that other nurses haven't posted or said to me before.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
i'm not preaching and never said my mother was abused and the nurse was mean. (and she was short, average wt., and fairly pretty) if my family was out of line i'd be the first one to tell them! my point was that if a pt or family is fairly easy to deal with there should be no reason to be snippy to them....it's their family member in the hospital and we're there to do a job. the best for the pt and family is to communicate with them with a sense of compassion in order to achieve optimal results and cooperation from the pt as well as the family. not a bad idea to communicate with coworkers this way to achieve the same results. thanks for assuming i have a learning disability....very mature. fyi...i have a 3.7 gpa and am raising 2 children by myself. i'm doing just fine.

so you, in your infinite wisdom and experience know what's best for the patient and the family, how to achieve optimal results and cooperation and how to communicate with co-workers. wow! all this and you're still in school.

as i stated before, get back to us in a few years.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
i asked for opinions and it turned into a bloodbath. like stated before, it's understandable to be defensive and justify other nurses...only natural. i've not attacked or belittled anyone and haven't said anything that other nurses haven't posted or said to me before.

you're judging and condemning.

Agreed. And no one ever said the family WASN'T an integral part of patient care, for crying out loud.....but that doesn't mean they do my job for me. Your interpretation of that statement needs a lot of revising, stop thinking in absolutes. Just because someone isn't agreeing with all of the things you are saying doesn't mean they think the patient's family is of no value or has no role at all. There's a lot of gray area here.

The more you post, the more I think that your original description of the events is inaccurate. If you had ANY of the attitude that day, in that room, that you do here, it's not surprising in the least why that nurse responded to you like she did.

I didn't say anything to the nurse. I sat and took a back seat. This was all witnessed without me intervening. And yes, several said they would rather the family just leave and not be there so they could take care of their pt., except on a med-surg floor nurses are too bogged down with work to be able to do "everything" for an immediate post op pt. Families do little things that the cna or nurse doesn't have time to. And if the cna or nurse doesn't have time to do it or it doesn't fall high enough on the priority list it doesn't get done. Little things like giving the pt a drink of water, getting fresh water, helping them reposition in bed, letting staff know that the airbed doesn't work and the pt's back is hurting, bathing, getting chapstick...these are all things that either my sister or I were there to do for my mother.....if we weren't there who would have been able to do these things?

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