What boundaries do you set? - page 2

1. 
   Jul 3, '10

   From: US ; Joined: Jan '10; Posts: 1,961; Likes: 1,206

   Quote from whodatnurse

   Oh, good Lord...well, obviously these gentlemen, after reading all they can of your 'menu'...have come to the conclusion that you have quite a bit to offer.
   
   The overall package is what makes a person attractive / unattractive in the eye of the beholder. How many times have you heard it said of a conventionally gorgeous/handsome person, "ah, he/she ain't all that" when people can't stand their personality.

   Amen! You might not be thin, I don't know, but if you're getting asked out then there must be something there girl!
2. 
   Jul 3, '10

   From: US ; Joined: Jan '10; Posts: 1,961; Likes: 1,206

   Example: "I haven't eaten anything in 10 hours because I have so much to do for my patients." This is not a direct quote.
   
   Example: "I've lost 10 pounds since I started working as a nurse because I never get to eat." This is not a direct quote.
   
   Oh my, I used to work with a CNA who always had something like that to say. She was always talking about how she never got to eat, she almost went into a diabetic coma because she was always too busy to eat and was never allowed to take a break, etc etc etc.
   
   Now, I know everyone's work situation is different and some people ARE mad busy when they're working BUT I am familiar with the hospital where she works and the med-surg department where she works. It is a small, rural area hospital with a fairly negative reputation and it is very slow. When we did clinicals, everyone was basically holding up the wall because there wasn't much to do. All while she was whining about how she hadn't eaten in days. Before that, she worked at the hospital in our town (now closed) where the average daily patient census was around 4 to 6 patients. That's right. FOUR to SIX patients. Same story with her.
3. 
   Jul 3, '10

   Joined: May '10; Posts: 234; Likes: 293

   Here are two things I posted on another thread, but I feel they are applicable here, too:
   
   

   Quote from morphed

   Be very careful about friendships your form at work. Take this time to realize that not everyone can be trusted and you should not be completely open and speak your mind with everyone. Be nice, courteous, and warm, but never let them see something you do or hear something you say that they can hold over you later. You don't know which of your coworkers is truly nice, and which one will be nice to your face but run back to the charge nurse and make sure she knows that you took an extra 2 mins coming back from break and that you didn't know what to do when something happened to one of your patients.

   Quote from morphed

   People you meet in passing phases of your life will eventually fade into your past. As far as friends at work, there was a study done that found that friendships formed at work generally lasted up to 1 year after one of the friends left the mutual place of employment. If work is the only thing you and someone else has in common, then the friendship probably won't last very long after one of you leaves.
   
   To have more of a friendship with work people, you need to have some other activity/experience that bonds the two of you. I would seriously avoid getting too close with anyone though, you never know people's real intentions. And do not get involved in gossip, but I think you should listen to it if someone wants to say something. It's those tidbits of info that helps you realize "X is BFFs with the mgr so make sure I am extra careful with her", "Y will turn on you if she feels threatened so make sure I don't seem like a know it all around her", "Z will tell everyone what you tell her in confidence so make sure I don't spill too much with her." Don't get too caught up with it, but just listen to what people say and take what they say with a grain of salt.
   
   I think you should look more towards becoming friends with people that you don't have to deal with on a daily basis. Other RNs and doctors that you meet at seminars, luncheons, etc. would be great people to get to know and they'll provide an additional benefit: a contact. Those people would make great contacts if you were trying to get a certain job or into a certain program. Plus they will be away from the drama that is work so they won't be part of work place politics/drama.

   In addition, sometimes it's difficult to set boundaries and say "No" because you want to make a good impression. You want your manager to look at you in a favorable light. You want your coworkers to feel like you help them out because, hey, you never know when you'll need their help. For all those reasons, I would help out when I could, but be careful. When it comes down to it, no one will remember all the times you bent over backwards for them, they won't remember how many things you did for them. They won't remember how many times you said "OK, I'll do it" when you were tired/busy/hungry. They'll just remember the one time you said "No." Hopefully your manager/coworkers aren't like that, but that is very common.
   
   And one last reason to not get so chummy with your coworkers right off the bat: the power of gossip. As a poster said in another similar thread, never underestimate the power of gossip. Do not get wrapped up in it or you will get burned. Remember that you are a professional. Act like it.

   Last edit by morphed on Jul 3, '10
4. 
   Jul 3, '10

   Occupation: RN Specialty: 3 year(s) of experience in ER ; From: US ; Joined: Mar '09; Posts: 673; Likes: 802

   2 rules to live by:
   
   1. Do NOT give them your cell phone number
   
   2. Invest in an answering machine and don't answer the phone if you don't want to go into work
5. 
   Jul 3, '10

   Joined: Sep '09; Posts: 670; Likes: 1,079

   With patients I find it pretty easy. I keep the focus on them. If the conversation turns to me and I feel uncomfortable I return the subject to them. It hasn't been much of an issue, I don't have much time to chat with my patients.
   
   With coworkers, I have long learned I don't share anything I wouldn't feel comfortable with EVERYONE knowing. So if I share something, I expect it will get back to my boss. In that way I never worry.
6. 
   Jul 5, '10

   Occupation: LPN Specialty: LTC ; From: US ; Joined: Feb '09; Posts: 524; Likes: 277

   yep, you can bring a good lunch to eat and never touch it sometimes. As far as the wt loss..that happens too...happened to me. Ive went from nearly 140 to 110 in the past 6 months. I dont have a good diet though....junk food mostly and caffeine to keep me going most nights....bad habits yes...but...thats how it is sometimes.
   And yes, you need to be able to say no in some instances. Ive been hounded on the phone to come in before and the more they do it, the less responsive I get.I also tend to pick and choose who I will work for. I will work for someone if they want to switch or if they get sick and call in IF I know that they will return the favor to me....if they are not the type to return favors or pull their share, my answer is always immediately NO NO NO! You will figure out who these people are in your workplace quick! Caller ID is a good investment. I dont even give out my cell number at work...only a few trusted coworkers have it, but no one else & its not in the employee directory.
7. 
   Jul 5, '10

   Occupation: LPN Specialty: Geriatrics ; From: US ; Joined: Mar '07; Posts: 897; Likes: 1,597

   With your patients, be friendly, but don't be-friend them. Keep you personal information to yourself, they have enough to worry about they don't need to worry about your problems. Also keep the line of professionalism strong, they need to know that while your there for them, your not thier best friends, you have a job to do. Same advice for co-workers.

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