Vent: On Jumping to Conclusions - page 3

To those of you who consider yourselves quick on the uptake, the downside is that you make snap judgments. Some of those are right on, some are completely baseless. Happened to me the other... Read More

  1. by   UM Review RN
    Quote from bethin

    why don't i just lie in the middle of the hallway and let her physically walk on me?

    maybe i'll join you.

    there we'll be, ghandi-like, sitting in the tracks of hostile coworkers, peacefuly protesting and fasting (till we get chocolate cheescake), holding up placards that say mean people suck or some such thing.

    oh yeah, good times.

  2. by   jewelsg627
    Hey Angie -

    I'm curious after reading all the posts - what happened? Have you seen "the twin snakes" yet?

  3. by   mydesygn
    Quote from Angie O'Plasty, RN
    To those of you who consider yourselves quick on the uptake, the downside is that you make snap judgments.

    Some of those are right on, some are completely baseless.

    Happened to me the other night. I was waiting for Respiratory on a patient.

    While I waited, I pulled up a couple of labs and tried to print them for the doc coming to see said patient.

    I later overheard "I can't believe she was playing with the computer while her patient needed a respiratory treatment.", that is not what was going on.

    Someone made a comment without having the facts and obviously didn't have the guts to approach me about it, just started gossiping about me.:angryfire :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire

    Yes, I'm still hot.

    I'm still not sure if I'm madder because the person totally misinterpreted what was going on and then spread the false report when I was supposedly out of earshot, or whether I'm madder at myself for not jumping up from my spot and confronting her head-on at the moment it happened.

    Can't stand the gossipers and the drama queens, I really can't. :trout:

    Thanks for listening.

    I'm sure there's a lesson in this for all of us. To the people who would say such things, :trout:

    To those of us who hear and repeat such things, :trout::trout:

    And to those of us who leave units that are rife with that kind of abuse, I'm happy to join you.
    I have so been there. The one thing I would recommend is to not let that go. Don't get angry or jump on the person on the spot but give yourself a little time and then approach them and tell them that - 1) I value my work and I do not waste time --- this is what I was doing 2) Although I shouldn't have to explain this to you, I felt your comment demonstrated both a lack of professionalism as well as as disdain for a fellow co-worker 3) I wanted you to know that your behavior did not go unnoticed and that I have lost some respect for you because of it. I used to let that go in an effort not to become part of "some petty mess and gossip" but ultimately I found that if you don't confront the individual directly, they will continue the behavior and unfortunately some people are easily influenced and form opinions based on hearsay and gossip. I think its best that the person realizes early that YOU will not tolerate or condone that. I know some people get angry and say something they don't mean that's why I usually wait a day or two and then I will tell that person that when they have time I would like to talk to them later about their statement, It goes better when they are not caught off guard or by surprise. I usually have mentally rehearsed what I need to say so I generally don't fly off the handle. Sometimes they completely avoid me but that's fine -- they just need to know it did not go unnoticed.

    It doesn't mean that they will stop it but I guarantee that they will think twice the next time. Ultimately, you need to be able to work peacefully and respect yourself.
    Last edit by mydesygn on Jan 3, '07
  4. by   UM Review RN
    Quote from jewelsg627
    Hey Angie -

    I'm curious after reading all the posts - what happened? Have you seen "the twin snakes" yet?

    Nope, not yet, but I think next week we're all scheduled together again.

    (Uh-oh. My palms are sweaty and my stomach just dropped, just thinking about it, despite all I said before. Boy, I hope this goes OK.)
  5. by   SanskeetRN
    I just want to say thanks for your post. I have been contemplating posting my experience with something almost identical.

    I'm in my last year of my ADN and my last med/surg clinical of the semster, I had a little old lady who needed to be amb 3x shift. I had her up, ambulated and back to bed then went to check on my other pt. While I was gone, my co-sign stated to the LPN in front of two classmates of mine that 'if my student isn't going to be assertive, I"ll have to do it myself. Someone needs to put how to be a Nurse 101 in that pts. room for her to read". After coming back and hearing what was said, I walked up to her and said "if there is something that you think needs to be done or I'm not doing, just come and talk to me. As a matter of fact, I have ambulated my patient and checked it off on the dry board". She turned beat red and said "oh, I think your doing a great job". At that point, she knew I found out what she said and that was enough for me. That was also a huge turning point for me. If that would have been last year, I would have been in tears in the bathroom, now I realize, I have more important things to deal with than her false opinion of me. I'm doing my job and my patients are taken care of, end of story.

    Sorry, I didn't mean to hijack the thread, it is so terrible that people have to be so petty and I truly am sorry that you have had to put up with that. I also think that those who jumped to the conclusions that you were messing around on the computer must have done it once or twice themselves to even consider the idea!
    Last edit by SanskeetRN on Jan 3, '07 : Reason: spacing for easier reading
  6. by   muffie
    angie, may i join your peaceful "mean people suck" cheesecake-eating sit-it ?
  7. by   UM Review RN
    Hi Sanskeet,

    I appreciate your input. I would like very much to hear other stories because if it seems to be a common problem, maybe some of those who've talked about others or said nothing when others were talked about (and I include myself there) will be a little more sensitive and less judgmental of their coworkers.

    Even better, maybe some of us will actively work to discourage rumormongering and gossip.

    (Next on the agenda: world peace.)
    Last edit by UM Review RN on Jan 3, '07
  8. by   UM Review RN
    Quote from muffie
    angie, may i join your peaceful "mean people suck" cheesecake-eating sit-it ?
    Of course you may!! BYOC and let the good times roll!
  9. by   RNOTODAY
    I know how you feel angie, I am like that too, re: assertiveness vs rude, not making things worse,,,, but I have been in that situation actually a few times in my new job, in an OR thats as big of a viper pit than I could imagine.... I was sitting at another table and some others were at the other table, and they started talking badly about our orientation program, how the orientees are useless, etc... I piped in with " I kow, our orientation is a bit unorganized, imagine how we feel"... One of them about turned purple choking on her juice, the other said nothing but "Oh we didnt mean *YOU*"
    I had to think for a minute before I said something, but I am glad I did.
    I work in a toxic environment, too.
  10. by   RYNOBLASTER30
    Angie, as the mobsters would say, "Forget a bout it!" Hey that's what older nurses do, they really have nothing better to do. They should be worrying about their own patients, no every elses. If you observe closely, these people do this to everyone, and everyone know about it but won't say a word. They are usually the ones up the manger's ass, and tend to tattle.
  11. by   jewelsg627
    Hey Angie -

    You can do it!!! umpiron: I know it's "stupid" but practice in front of the usually helps me.

    Make sure to let us know how it goes!!
  12. by   moongirl
    when you do go back to work with her, walk up and calmly say ' I heard that you were talking trash about me" then watch her stammer and stutter. If she denies it, say " Look, I know you said blah blah, and you know you said it, but the truth of the matter was that I was printing labs for the doc. You have created trouble where there was none, and in the future I would appreciate it if you would keep your mouth shut if you dont know what you are talking about"

    she will pee her pants, you will feel better and all will be groovy.
    then you wont feel like such a doormat and maybe she (and others) will think twice about messing with Angie