Too ugly to be a nurse..?!?

Nurses General Nursing

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Possum_RN

113 Posts

I hope you apply, if you really want this! I have horrible skin too...approaching 30, still have acne, tried everything under the sun. It appears to be stress related, so maybe I'm in the wrong profession, but hey! Also, I'm 5 foot tall and 115ish lbs - especially, the older men get very nervous when I come to assist them out of bed, but I reassure them that we'll take it slow and I'll get help if we don't feel safe after attempting to reposition. I don't usually have problems: just be mindful of good body mechanics and take it slow and steady.

I'm not classically pretty either: years ago in long-term care, I was working with a nurse that was hourglass-shaped, super-model pretty. We were turning a patient side-to-side to clean him. He turned to her, gushing complements on her beauty....turned to me, stone silent...back to her, full of complements....back to me....crickets chirping :roflmao: It's ok, being pretty is amazing I'm sure, but there's more to life than that, and you have more to offer!

When it comes down to it, 99% of the people you encounter as patients just care that you are there, offering comfort and competence. They're having the worst time of their lives - they could give less of a hoot what you look like, as long as you look clean and have a pleasant look on your face.

Possum_RN

113 Posts

I also want to add: no matter what you look like, how beautiful you are, it's very likely a patient WILL at some point call you fat, ugly, etc - any insult they think will hurt you. Patients have all sorts of experiences - some are "not in their right mind", some are detoxing, some are just having the worst day in their life and are lashing out....all kinds of things. 99% are lovely or stoic, but that 1% can eat at you if you let them. Additionally, healthcare is stressful, and co-workers can lash out too.

It sounds to me like you have some confidence issues. It's something I go though too: some days I can laugh at myself, other times it's not easy. If you go though with this, PLEASE remember that sometimes, you have to take what is said with a grain of salt- listen to their complaints, but realize that they can say things JUST TO HURT YOU - it has no basis in reality. You have to learn to let some things roll off your back. I'll be rooting for you!

Wheels28

132 Posts

Just a patient--- You sound like you are being way too hard on yourself. I'm disabled due cerebral palsy and in a wheelchair, I have been in the hospital many times, and I have to say I have NEVER judged a nurse or CNA or any staff on their appearance, I judge them on how knowledgeable they were, if they were friendly ect...

I've had some nurses who were not the best looking in the room but were great at their job and I would request them whenever I was in the hospital because they took such good care of me. If someone doesn't want you as their nurse based on your looks that says a lot about THEM as a person, because it's what's inside that matters.

Give me a knowledgeable, friendly nurse that is "ugly" looking, over one that looks like a model and doesn't know what they are doing is mean and ignores my call light any day. I have also noticed that some of the ladies who think they are ugly, are the most prettiest in the room in more ways than one. I know it's easier than done but don't pick yourself a part you'll drive yourself crazy, focus on positive stuff about yourself and (I'm sure there are many). Remember smarts and personality matter the most to MOST people. Give nursing a try if you think you'll enjoy it, if not you might regret it later. Hope this helps.

Due to a genetic condition that I have and the resulting multiple facial surgeries, I have scars on my face and my face is asymmetrical. I never wear makeup. I understand your concern, but while the occasional person asks me about it, no one has refused care from me as a result. Honestly, people care a lot less than you may think. Let your personality show through; be confident and while people may notice you look "different" they would rather have a person caring for them that knows what they are doing, rather than a good-looking incompetent.

ORTech2RN

109 Posts

I'm a 40 something year old guy with deep acne scarring and putting on a middle aged gut. If I ever had years I looked good, they are probably long gone. Here's the thing: I don't care. I'm married, have kids, a damn good job with benefits and enough money to provide for my family and put food on the table.

Here's another thing. Most people don't really care either. Your patients are sick and in a dark time of life, most likely. They want someone with compassion, someone who knows their stuff and will advocate for them. For example, when a new MD wants to pump your patient with 2 liters of fluid and you know their of history of CHF and risk of overload, you will advocate and question the order.

Compassion, knowledge, integrity and advocacy. Those are qualities of a good Nurse, not how much foundation you can apply to hide your acne scars. I want those qualities in my coworkers, I don't care how good they look. Not to mention someone who will show up to work on time and is somewhat competent.

riverlands

40 Posts

The idea that an average nurse is a certain level of attractiveness is a stereotypical view, and one that we as professional nurses often work hard to eliminate. It is a myth. My suggestion is that you seek some professional assistance to explore your self esteem challenges. Beauty is an illusion and/or an opinion. Ugly is subjective. Empathy, strength, competency, attitude, and personality are in large part earned and learned. This is what I love about nursing.

Funny story...I work in Corrections. On my first day my preceptor looked at me and said: "Thank God you look like that and not like Miss Teen America. You wouldnt believe the trouble we have with pretty young nurses." I knew I was in the right place.

Depending on where you work being attractive so that patients want you to touch them is NOT A GOOD THING!!

Nursing isn't about how you look. It's what's in your head and your heart. Stop watching General Hospital--they are NOT nurses, they are actresses PRETENDING to be nurses--and get your LPN. Many hospitals will help you upgrade to RN/BSN/MSN if you agree to work for them for a set period of time.

Specializes in Psych, Peds, Education, Infection Control.

This may sound cliche, but the only person who is too ugly to be a nurse is someone who's ugly on the inside. There are things one can do to improve their appearance, which can in turn help improve their self-esteem. I really deeply understand insecurity about one's appearance; I've struggled with it as well. But I've met some very pretty nurses who didn't give two craps about their patients and that's what I had the problem with. You sound smart and like you're doing this for all the right reasons - so go for it! And any changes you make to your appearance should be for YOU because they make you feel good (unless it's dress code...that we can't do much about!).

charisma00

44 Posts

oh youll be fine. we all look different. youll have patients who you have no say in treating them, you may treat a racist, or a sexist or an abuser, the list goes on. what matters is you doing your job well, people need that. Trust me, having good characteristics makes a person glow on the outside. The immature people who you hear saying mean things are really the ugly ones that you will leave behind when you become a nurse.

Gem13

28 Posts

Your brains, knowledge and skills are much more important than beauty!! Apply. Once you start clinical you'll realize how you care for your patients are much more important than anything else

I haven't read through all the comments, and I hate posting without reading them all because I feel I might miss something and say something wrong because I didn't, but you've gotten so much support, I just couldn't read through it all!! ;)

Don't let other peoples comments get you down! I know its easier said than done but as long as you are a good, kind, loving, caring person - that's all that matters!! What you look like does NOT mean anything towards how you will care for a pt or treat any person for that matter!! IMO just because you are "pretty" or "beautiful" does NOT mean that you are a good, kind, loving, caring person, it does NOT mean you will treat your pts kindly and care for them as if they were a loved one of yours, it does NOT mean that you treat every person you come across with respect and dignity. It just means when SOME people look at you, they might like what they see. IMO that does NOT mean much.

People come in ALL different shapes, sizes, colors, and personalities! Some people act different because they have been treated "special" their whole lives or gotten perks because people treated them better because they liked how they look. That is not going to matter when you are a nurse, or IMO as a person. What matters is how YOU treat people. Of course, it hurts when others put you down or makes comments about you, and it's easier said than done to say to just brush it off.

There's women out there that think they are "fat" or "ugly" and think that they have a horrible life because of that (e.g., no friends or no boyfriend or not in the career they want). There are some out there who are truly happy with who they are - the way they look and who they are. There are also women out there who are "skinny" or "pretty" and seem to have it all to other people, but think they are "ugly" or "fat." Then, here are women out there who are "skinny" or "pretty" and do actually have it all - love how they look and love who they are. IMO it's all about how you see yourself. If you see yourself as one sexy, happy, beautiful person and act that way - IMO more people are going to treat you that way. IMO we each are limited by what we tell ourselves (of course, we do hear comments others make about us, and that gets into our heads and adds to what we tell ourselves). But, for the most part, I think that if we act beautiful, fun, and loving, we are treated as such in most cases. Focus on the POSITIVE things. Focus on GOOD things you hear people say about you, take that in and focus on that. Don't focus on the bad things people say, don't let that in!

Everyone goes through their own struggles - some struggle with the way they look, some struggle with the way they feel about themselves, some struggle with other things going on in their lives. IMO, of course looks can draw a person to you, but what really draws a person in is your personality. If someone sees a girl laughing, having fun, enjoying life, IMO, that's someone I would want to get to know, rather than some "pretty" girl sitting quietly in a corner. Think about what makes you a wonderful person - you're a loyal friend, you care about those around you, you are not mean to people, you treat people with respect and dignity, you don't put others down, you help others, etc. IMO, those things matter. You might not be what society sees as "beautiful" but that's just ONE quality among sooooo many others! By stopping worrying about how others see you or looking for your "flaws," you take away that power to hurt you.

Of course, in today's society, it's easier said than done. Today, everyone posts a million images of themselves online each day. I'm 32 and have NEVER gotten into Facebook or Twitter or SnapChat or anything like those. I just don't get the idea of taking a million "selfies" of me doing absolutely nothing important but posing with a "kissy face" or "sexy" stare or whatever to see how many comments or likes I get. I just don't get it. But, it's the society we live in - unfortunately. Internet and technology have made so many things great, but there's a lot of bad that comes from it too - cyberbullying for one. It just made it easier for people to get bullied. It used to be, if you got bullied at school, you could at least go home to get away from it - well, not anymore. But, IMO, people that make comments about others looks, clothes, etc. are just people that are insecure and need to put others down to make themselves feel better. You have the boy at school that bullies the smaller boys, every day, making them feel small so he can feel big - but, then that boy goes home, and gets beat or put down by his father. So, coming to school and making others feel small, makes him feel better. When I see bullies or hear people make mean comments, I just think that there must be something going on in their life to make them feel the need to put others down.

Okay, I think I've ranted long enough. My point is....in your career as a nurse, it does NOT matter what you look like. Really, I can't think of any career that your looks matter except for a model or actor/actress. What matters is how YOU do your JOB! If you are a smart, competent, safe, effective nurse - that's what matters. I would much rather have someone that knows what they are doing, will take good care of me or my loved ones, keep me or my loved ones safe and alive, and treat me or my loved ones with dignity and respect than someone who is "pretty." I don't care what you look like, as long as you know how to do your job. Honestly, everyone has their own insecurities. IMO, it doesn't matter how "pretty" you are to other people, what matters is how "pretty" you feel. Just like when people say it doesn't matter how old you are, but how old you feel!!

IMO, everyone, no matter how "pretty" or "handsome" they seem, they have some kind of insecurity somewhere. When people are sick and in the hospital, they are usually at their lowest and feeling weak, scared, and lonely. They probably are feeling pretty insecure as well, with people poking and prodding at them and examining them. Would they rather have some perfect, impeccable looking nurse examining them while they feel insecure? When they're feeling insecure, it would probably make them feel more insecure having some perfect, impeccable looking nurse examining them.

But, to me, I don't care what you look like, I care what you can do!! If you know your stuff, your good in my book! So, set aside your fears, and apply for the program. If you are caring, loving, kind, compassionate, and respectful, you are already part of the way there. Once you get the knowledge, you'll be a great nurse!

Sorry about this rant...I just hate hearing someone call themselves ugly!! I hate hearing that other people are calling someone else ugly!! I hate that people think its okay to put someone else down! We should lift each other up!

Wonderful to watch....

Meaghan Ramsey: Why thinking you're ugly is bad for you | TED Talk

Patient x

1 Post

Hi..as a former patient I'd l Iike to add some strength to nurse doubtfull...don't be, doubtfull I mean.. cause you are there for the patients and they will appreciate and empower you..good luck!

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