To all the mothers: Day Care Advice (long)

  1. Hello Allnurses!

    I just got accepted into Midwestern State's BSN Program for the fall. The school is a 150 miles from my parents house, which I reside, so of course I'm moving. I have a soon to be 3 month old little boy =) I do have a babysitter down here who has been watching my nephew until he was able to go to school as well as my niece. They are now 6 and 7. She is currently keeping my other niece who is 20 months old. She is wonderfullll. And plus she is a great family friend. Now seeing how I will move, I have nobody to watch my son when needed. My bf is currently in jail for something he didn't do, no he isnt a dead beat and whatever else you might be thinking. He goes to court on the 23rd of this month, so I'm not sure what will happen, if they have to reset his court date again, or he goes to trial or whatever, the point is, I don't know if he will be out in time when school starts. So my question is to all the mothers, or even Aunties who have custody of their nieces, nephews, anybody with children, or who have experiece with children, how do you pick a day care. My sister advised me to go to the Child Protective Services website and look at all the day cares and people who do child care throught out their homes and look at their ratings. She said pay attention to how long they have been in business, how long they have had their issuance of their license, and the ratings. After 7 pages of day cares and people, I have narrowed it down to 5. Four are licensed day cares and they have been in business from 1986, 1988, 1996, and 1998. No violations, no complaints, passed inspection. Then I have another woman, she is registered does child care from her home, has been doing business since 1998, no violations, no complaints, passed inspection. I need help on choosing. How do I go about this? Do I go set up a visit? What questions should I ask? Any suggestions and advice would help. I think I can narrow it down to three, because I know I will be in clinicals and those start around 6:30-6:45 right? And two of those don't take children until 7AM. The woman in her house starts at 6AM until 6PM, the other two are 6:30-5:30. Please help me out. I'm terrrrrrrrrrified of day cares. There is always a story on the news "we're sorry, we didn't know we left little Billy in the van", or "omgsh, i don't know how he fell" or "i didn't hit him T H A T hard". I know mothers can really understand what I'm coming from. So please help me out. I will be so appreciative. Hopefully, my bf will be out in time, so I won't have to go through any of this, but if he's not I need help. Please keep us in your prayers.

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    About Prettyladie

    Joined: Sep '08; Posts: 1,233; Likes: 154
    Specialty: Emergency


  3. by   smiletoday
    Set up an appointment during the time that the provider is providing care for the other children. Ask alot of questions. Do not feel that a question can be too personal. For your daycare provider will become part of your family. Assess, yes, assess how the other daycare children act and behave around the provider. Are they afraid to talk or move. Do they stay around the provider and talk to the provider. Do they appear comfortable. Or are they just sittin in one spot on the couch watching tv and afraid to move. How does the provider respond to the activities of the children while trying to pay attention to you. Can they multi task and handling these situations calmly. Also, ask if there is an open door policy. This means can you come and join the children for lunch or activies. Can you just pop up without letting some one know? Then do exactly that.
  4. by   Prettyladie
    Thank you so much for your input.
  5. by   kendra1978
    My best experiences with daycares have come from good old-fashioned word of mouth. Ask friends, neighbors, and even strangers what daycare they use and if they like it. In almost every situation, the one that gets praised the most often is the one you feel the most comfortable with when you go visit it.
  6. by   Prettyladie
    i wish i could. i dont know anybody in this area. I will be completely new to Wichita Falls, that's why I'm extra nervous. I've been told to ask a lot of questions. I'm just trying to think of every one i can.
  7. by   sunray12
    Is there any way that you can leave your baby with your parents and commute back home on weekends? I know your family would have to be willing to help with this but if they are willing, it is better than you going into a community where you don't know anyone and having to rely on people you don't know to watch your baby. It seems like a lot of extra stress to be taking on while going into nursing school.
  8. by   Spidey's mom
    Is there any way you can find a school closer to all the family support you have?

  9. by   CBsMommy
    I leave my son with a sitter and have since he was 3 months old. I ALWAYS make sure they are licensed by the state, as they have to pass an FBI fingerprint check, like we do for nursing. I ALWAYS go on more than one interview so in the beginning, I will go to let's say 10 different daycare providers. I will then narrow it down to the people I think are the most trustworthy, clean, no tv, healthy homecooked meals, GREAT interaction with the children, children's drawings on the walls, activities going on, etc. Then, once I narrow it down, I will go back and interview again, usually right before lunch (that's a provider's busiest time) and see how they handle the stress.

    I also like to call and make sure my buddy is doing great during the day. My childcare provider is the BEST. I'm not in the Wichita Falls area but I'm sure there are great providers there as well. You should always have access to the childcare provider's licensing history, which will include ANY claim for negligence, abuse, etc, even if it is unfounded. I rule these people out right away. Better safe than sorry.

    You can always ask for a list of references as well and CALL ALL OF THEM!

    Good luck and try not to worry too much. Does the school you are going to have daycare? What about a center?
  10. by   Prettyladie
    this is to the several posts. i cant find another school because out of 5 schools this is the only one that has accepted me and I'm taking no chances of trying to apply to a school that is closer to home. My parents could keep him, but it would make no difference because my mom works 7-4 and sometimes until 6 and my dad just doesnt havent patience, so while she is at work, she would have to take them to the babysitter i have now. so i think that is excess money to be spending. and plus my mother works hella OT and she works every other saturday. so thats not really working. as for his other granny my bfs mom. she works a rotating shift, but she is mgr so she can make her own schedule, but still its not working. and honestly i dont think i can go weeks without seeing my child, as wichita falls is not an easy weekend commute. like i said. i have found the centers that i liked based on their qualifications and no complaints, no abuse, and etc. the entire history is great. im going the first week of may with my mother, and i know i will check them out, i'm just reallly nervous. i litterally just started crying because i dont want anybody to hurt my child, just like any other parent, but it happens. the centers i found are all licensed by the state. there is one, and she is only registered. i'm not real sure what that means, becuase she has been doing childcare since 1994 and the CPS documents no faulty activity, no complaint, and passed all inspections.
  11. by   Jo Dirt
    I'll be Frank (and I'll be Earnest, too) but I can only make assumptions, forgive me if I'm wrong. When you say "boyfriend" I am just assuming this is not the father of your infant. If you have not known this man long, please do not leave him with your child. For that matter, jails are full of innocent people (if you know what I mean.) I recently saw on the news about a woman grieving over her year old daughter she left with her boyfriend while she went to class at the local college. He shook her baby to death. She says she couldn't understand how he could do this because he treated her like gold the whole time she knew him. Bad people don't have the decency to wear a sign or show overt indicators they are not nice people.

    I used to be trusting of people, way too trusting. It sounds like this may not be the best time to move, especially with a young child and no family around. If you move, please contact the CPs to find daycare centers and get all the financial help you can through grants and public assistance.

    If you think I'm being paranoid, just think of how you would feel if something happened to that sweet baby. You can't be too careful.

    P.S. I know what it is like to feel like you've got an opportunity you have to hold on to, but it sounds like you may have a lot of things going against you with this. I recently turned down my dream job after a lot of grieving over it but finally decided it wasn't what was best for my four children. I've had many regrets over not taking this job (which would have required me to move out of state) but there came a point I had to realize the cards were stacked against me. Surely, you have another option. Why can't you go to the vo-tech and become an LPN first? Don't you have a local vocational school? It's only a year! You could then work and do an online LPN to BSN isn't that out of reach! I'm not going to think I'm going to change your mind, but in case there is any chance of getting you to consider an alternative I want to put it out there.
    Last edit by Jo Dirt on Apr 19, '09
  12. by   Prettyladie
    okay. the "boyfriend" is my childs father. We're not married. That's why I call him that. He is my fiance, but I've been so use to calling him my boyfriend for a long time, that I havent gotten use to fiance. I would never leave my son with some man I've only been dating some months, no matter how much I trusted him. I've been with Chris since I was 19 years old, and I'm about to be 23, so I know him, and like I said, he is the child's father. I completely understand your concern. Just on the local news up here, or down here depending where you live =) a woman left her child with the step-father, and he still punched the baby in it's chest, or i'm assuming it's his chest, they didn't say where he was hit, but the baby DIED! I don't want to be an LPN, but they are LVN down or up here. I have incredibly too many hours, and I think that is a waste of time. They only work in LTC and Drs offices as "MAs" but I'm not downing LVN's at all, but geographically that is how it is in my state. I have a goal and I have God on my side, I'm just trying to figure the best option for childcare. I've been denied to four schools in the past month, and God didn't want me there. That's how I look at things, and I get accepted here, and there is a reason. I know it will be a struggle, but I can make it. I'm just looking for advice on how mothers, parents, whoever chose their daycare their child is in.
  13. by   Madsmommy
    "the "boyfriend" is my childs father. We're not married. That's why I call him that."

    Thank you! I have been with my son's father for five years now. Our son is 3 1/2. What am I supposed to call him??? He is so much more than just a boyfriend however, I do not like to say he is my fiance (as he is not) or husband, nor do I want to say that's my 'baby daddy'.

    Quite frankly, I wanted a child more than I wanted to get married. I have been going to school since my child was two months old and haven't had the money to get married. Neither of us have been married before so I don't want to just jaunt down to the courthouse...I want a nice (I didn't say expensive) wedding.

    In the meantime I guess I'll refer to my child's father as my boyfriend and correct people when the address me as Mrs. Moore and holiday cards as 'The Moore's'. That includes my son's pediatrician's office and my boyfriends brother!

    Glad to see I am not alone in this dilemma!
  14. by   imenid37
    Is there any way you can get the names of others in the nursing class? I am sure some of them have kids too and maybe this would help you out. Maybe even some of the nursing instructors have kids and could offer a reccomendation of who they use for childcare. Then, of course, do all of the legal checking, etc. Good luck. I am happy to hear you want to be a nurse and I hope it works out for you. Be very careful. I always was lucky enough to find an arrangement for my kids with someone who was known to me or a trusted family member. Make sure you ask if there are large pets (I love dogs, but be careful. My one little older doggie would need to be away from kids as they get on his nerves.) and firearms. These two things make me nervous. If someone has really big dogs or guns in the house, to me it is a no. I know others might feel differently. I asked one daycare provider this many years ago. She said it was none of my business and I told her then you do not have my business. Good luck!