Things you'd LOVE to tell the doc and get away with it.... - page 6

Since the patient version is so popular, and I had a bad weekend (and no hope for a better one this weekend....) You've been giving this schizophrenic Alzheimer's pt 10 mg Ambien, plus 50mg... Read More

  1. by   hollymckenziern
    More, more, MORE!!! Never had so much fun on my day off!
  2. by   Spiker
    amen to that, ruby! a lot of us have been doing this since these docs were little kids, & we have a lot of information/common sense to share with them. they'll go far in life if they realize they can learn from us!
  3. by   ec2703
    Funneeeeeeee!!!!

  4. by   nurselindah
    Pull your own freaking charts. Can't you see I am passing medications for 45 ALZHEIMERS patients(half of which are yours. Ever tried balancing 20 charts on a desk the size of a bedside tray?), trying to finish before dinner trays come at 5pm. Otherwise I will have to wait until after 6:30pm when it's a mad race by CNAs to get them ready for bed. Like being in the Kentucky Derby. That gives me NO time before the 9pm med pass and sundowners sets in, when the game turns into hide and seek. Sheesh.
  5. by   WYDiceDancer
    Quote from 2ndwind
    GracedRN...

    I once witnessed a physician pistol-whipping where the nurse told him, "Your head is so far up your (rear), you better write new orders for yourself if you want me to help get it out!" -- I ran for cover so I could fully laugh MAO, when I finished and came back that nurse asked if I had been crying, and I said "you bet I was" and gave her a big thumbs up.
    On the same thread, I have a friend tell the administrator (when he ATTEMPTED to write her up for an imagined infraction)"You can take that and shove it up your @$$, and maybe on the way up it will lance the hemorroid that is keeping the blood from reaching your brain!" Ten years later it STILL cracks me up.
  6. by   hollymckenziern
    So you expect me to transfuse 4 PRBC's and 4 FFPs stat? When you won't do the transfusion consent?
  7. by   RetiredTooSoon
    Quote from swirlygirl
    I may know what he needs, but after being a surgeon for 10 years you should know that nurses are not allowed to write their own orders.
    Yes, I know this is a fun thread. One thing that may save a few grey hairs, though...

    When I was working OR and preop clinic, I was allowed to write orders-I also ordered labwork. The doctors told us what special orders they wanted for certain types of patients and the RNs could write the order, knowing that the doc would sign them off when the patient got to them-I guess it was like a verbal order, given days or weeks ahead of time. Since we were a small centre and only had two ORs open at most and on Fridays had no surgeries or in-house anaesthesia coverage, we couldn't just call a doctor to get orders for non-urgent reasons.

    My cousin was a diabetes instructor/RN and she was given a pad of signed prescriptions so she could write routine insulin orders. We didn't have nurse practitioners at that time, but apparently someone in the clinic checked with the nurses' professional association and got clearance for the nurses in diabetes education to write the insulin orders.

    It may be useful to get universal standing orders for such cases so that if there is a GI bleed or other relatively 'routine' complication, you can act first, get the data and then call the doctor with the results.
    Last edit by RetiredTooSoon on Jun 24, '09
  8. by   dede1956
    love these....keep them going. how about the doc that got called around 2200 and asks "who is the pt, what is his name, what was he admitted with, who is the idiot that admitted him?" took me all of 2 sec to tell the doc that he is the idiot that admitted the pt, "you did." very hard to not grin ear to ear and laugh while saying this. or the doc that "listens" to nurses say the pt is a DNR/DNI and proceeds to go into the pt room, and in front of the family in a nasty tone of voice, "do you want to die???" walks out of the room and makes the pt a partial code...wake up doc, pts have the right to say stop, make me comfortable, I don't want anything heroic to keep me alive. Same doc, comes in to ask about a pt and gets upset that the pt is no longer in room "where is the pt?" response: "in the morgue" doc: "what is he doing there?" response (after extremely bad night) "having a party would you like to join him?"...actually said this. doc: "did you code him, you did for how long, how long, what were you trying to keep him alive?" response (actual): yes, 45 minutes, 45 minutes, no we were ready to stop the code but the hospitalist didn't want to stop yet, and after giving Epi 6 times...they keep going for a while....mind you 3 other docs were there trying not to listen to this conversation or laugh outloud.....we can't stop codes only docs can. felt like saying if you have a problem with how long the code went on, then you need to talk to the doc that ran the code...don't get pi##y with us.
  9. by   RetiredTooSoon
    Quote from 2ndwind
    GracedRN...

    I once witnessed a physician pistol-whipping where the nurse told him, "Your head is so far up your (rear), you better write new orders for yourself if you want me to help get it out!"
    I didn't go quite that far, but as a student, I was getting an Alzheimer's patient washed and into her clothes for the day. It wasn't a full bath day for her, so I gave her a bit of a bed bath and peri care before getting her dressed.

    As I was struggling to get her diaper on (non-disposable), I felt like I was being watched. I look up and there's a man I've never seen before, staring at the woman's genitals. I had shut the door when I had entered the room, plus pulled the curtain, even though she was in a private room.

    I didn't stop to think or to question; I just raled on him. "What are you DOING?!? You do NOT enter a room without knocking on the door or otherwise announcing yourself!". He stammered that he was her doctor, to which I replied, "I don't CARE! You can show courtesy and knock on the door, not just stick your head in the room and stare at the patient's crotch!". He ran off and I never did see the poor guy again. :uhoh21: I warned my instructor of what I'd done in case he got mad at me after the fact and went to her to complain. She said I was perhaps a bit heavy-handed but I had definitely advocated for my patient.
  10. by   cweberrn
    I loved reading this thread so much that I plan to copy and paste a number of them and send them to my nurse friends so that they can get up a good laugh too. Keep them coming!
  11. by   redheadedvixen
    wow......I'm thinking I'm lucky...

    To the doctor of my hospice patients... Thank you for allowing me to teach you new things every now and then, thank you for telling me I'm doing a good job once in a while, and thank you for helping me up off the floor after you told me you trust my judgement and value my opinion!!! And most of all thank you for knowing what the meaning of the word TEAM is.
  12. by   DoulaJane
    Doctor, your patient has been awake all night after being admitted at 12 am for induction of labor. Please, please PLEASE let her have her epidural BEFORE you break her water!
  13. by   Laney123
    After several times saying good morning to a doc and never receiving a response, a glance or any acknowledgement that I had even spoken, I stepped into his path and said "Why didn't you tell me"? He looked at me in shock, wide eyed and said "Tell you what"? I said, "you didn't tell me I was invisible again today"!!!
    He didn't know what to say. Never ignored me again though!!! lol, I can still see the look on his face.....hahahah

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