Stupid questions/comments made by doctors!

  1. What kind of stupid questions have you been asked by a physician? You know, the kind that just make you want to scream. I had a patient the other day who was having big time mental status changes. I finally convinced the doctor that something wasn't right, and we needed to try to find out why. He ordered some labs. I called him with the results which included a high potassium, a low sodium, and a glucose over 300. The elderly patient had no history of diabetes. The physician called me and was asking me why the patient's glucose was high. Never mind the potassium, he was freaked out over the glucose. He kept asking me why it was high and kept stating that she had no history of diabetes. This doc is oriental, so his English is broken. Anyway, after the third time I said," I have no idea why the glucose is high. You're the doctor, you tell me." I could have just jumped through the phone and slapped him!! Don't you just love it when the docs ask you these kind of questions?
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    About deespoohbear

    Joined: Aug '01; Posts: 2,276; Likes: 42


  3. by   P_RN
    Has anyone had the "why does my patient have a fever?" discussion?

    Nurse: "your patient's temp is 101.8F tympanic....."

    Doctor: "did you take his temperature?"

    Nurse: "Yes doctor, I did. It is 101.8F tympanic"

    Doctor: "what is it in his rectum...."

    Nurse: "I am certain that his temperature in his rectum cannot be taken with a tympanic thermometer."

    OK so then you discuss that he probably has an atelectasis and cough and deep breathing have been initiated. You have ordered the Incentive spirometer and he can pull 1500.

    Doctor: "there is nothing in the literature that says atelectasis causes fever."

    Nurse: Yes there the Nursing textb......"

    Doctor: "that is NOT a reference......"

  4. by   canoehead
    We had a baby born blue with gasping resps that needed bagging up with blow by for a minute. The doc asked the Apgar, then said 8? I said 5-6, he says,


    because we had to bag that baby DUH!

    "but she was bagged because she was blue, not for resps"

    she was blue because she WASN'T BREATHING (you twit)
    and you were delivering the placenta, so how do you get an opinion anyway, huh?
  5. by   debbyed
    I'm surprised at all of you..........Don't you know Doctors NEVER say anything stupid.........The nurses just mis-understand them!!

    For the folks who are wondering.........Yes I'm Kidding
  6. by   samrn32
    there have been too many why's to even count but two
    situations come to mind where I asked a doc to hand me
    something when I was opposite side of bed .
    the first , we had a pt. on a ventilator who needed oral suction
    I asked the doc who was standing on opposite side of bed by
    the yaunker (no i probably didn't spell right) to hand me the
    yaunker, He handed me the MDI (inhaler),
    the second, we had a pt. pass out quit breathing and go into
    a junctional rhythm during a thoracentesis doc was standing
    by ambu bag hanging on the wall and I said "can you hand
    me that bag" of course the lady's suitcase was also there and
    tried to hand me that.
  7. by   deespoohbear
    Love it!!!!! How about this conversation?

    Nurse: Dr. soso, the patient's intake is 2500, their output is 400.

    Doctor: Is that so? Why would that be?

    Nurse: Let's see, the IV is going at 125cc/hr and that pt hasn't voided in 8 hrs.

    Doctor: Do you think we need a foley?

    By this point, I am beating my head on the desk!!

    Here's another one: One of my coworkers had a patient who coded at 2am. After the code team arrived, the nurse went to call the patient's primary physician to tell him about the patient's cardiac arrest. The nurse said: Dr. ...., your pt so and so is in cardiac arrest and we are trying to revive him. Doctor: "What happened?" (I think this question is pretty self explainatory). Then the doctor goes on to say that he doesn't believe it and we are trying to kid him. (This is the same doctor who I wrote about in the first post). Sure, we call doctors at 2am to kid them about their patients going into cardiopulmonary arrest. Ughhhhhhhh!!!
  8. by   NurseDennie
    How about the icky doctor who wanted us to put a patient who was on tube feeds in a rump raised, chest on bed position so we could blow a fan on her excoriated bottom? Oh wait, it gets better! She had c-diff as well as a fungus "down there" and he touched her, pointing out the problems. He THEN put his finger into the top of his nare, saying that when you tape a DobbHoff to the patient's forehead, that the irritation causes the nose to erode "right here." EEEEwwwwwww

    I have this particular doctor's name tattoo'd on my chest with the big international NO/DO not sign over it just in case I'm ever discovered unconscious!!


  9. by   justanurse
    I work critical care.

    Last year we had a new cardiologist to one of our groups. Not new, he supposedly taught at a big hospital. He whirls into the ccu, grabs an ICU nurse who was floated there, proceeds to go into the patient room and take out the femoral arterial line. He holds the site a couple of minutes, then hands it over to her. About 5 minutes later she calls out because she can't get a good hold on it and it's still oozing. So, I take over, and have to hold for about 45 minutes. When I take over, I look and the Heparin is still on. She turns it off. About 30 minutes into my holding, the doc comes in, asks how's it going. I tell him that usually we turn the Heparin off and do an ACT before pulling a sheath. He asks what the ACT was, and I tell him, I don't know we didn't turn the Heparin off until after the line was pulled. He proceeds to slap me on the back and says "good idea". JERK!!!

    2. Just last week I had to pull a femoral arterial line and had to get it ok'd by the surgeon. So, I call and get the ok to DC the line. He tells me, "Now you know you have to hold pressure". Wanted to say "No SH*T Sherlock, ya think". Couldn't though, he's usually too nice.

    Just had to add a couple
  10. by   justanurse
    We used to only have one nephrologist in our town (that was because he ran all his partners off). Anyway, when he'd go on vacation he had a "rent-a-doc" fill in for him. The guy didn't have a good clue. We had a patient on the vent and he wanted to know why we weren't feeding him. Real food, not tube feeding.

  11. by   psnurse
    My all time favorite...

    Patient in VT with pulse. In distress, but talking. Initiate ACLS and notify MD.

    On the phone (at 3am)

    RN: Mr. so and so is in VT

    MD: That's not VT!!

    I don't know how he devined this information. Patient deteriorates quickly.

    RN: You're right! Now he's in vfib.

    Code called. Patient survives. MD shows up.... says "I guess it really was VT."

  12. by   canoehead
    LMAO, these are too funny!
  13. by   nicola
    We get the funnies in home care, too. I had one client who was a habitual and unrepentant crack user. Oh, yeah, she also had AIDS (go figure...). One day the doc calls to say he's worried about her weight loss. I point out that she's still using - CRACK. His response "I know, but why is she losing weight still? I'm thinking of starting marinol." Yeah. Just what we need - more drugs! Doc needs to get into a DARE program!

    I also called a doc about another person who I was sure had shingles. It was Friday morning and I wanted this guy seen before the weekend. Doc says, "Do you think he can wait until Monday?" NNNOOOO!!!
  14. by   EndoRN
    This thread is sooo funny. I wish I had the nerve to print it out and pin it on our bulletin board at work. Maybe I will.....

    I have one to share:
    Last week we had to do a colonoscopy on a 400 lb. man. The anesthetist mentioned to the Dr. ahead of time that we would need to go a little lighter on the sedation d/t the potential for airway problems. The doctor said, "why do you think he'd have airway problems?" And he wasn't joking, either!