Sticking with nursing as a career and not becoming homicidal. How?

[eriksoln, BSN, RN]

OK, the title is a bit strong. I certainly don't feel homicidal. I do see myself slipping into some bad habits though: Not going out on off days, overeating, no interest in things I used to love doing, over/under sleeping.

I do realize as I go through my divorce, I can't expect to be completely centered and mindful, but I got to do better than this.

For nurses who have stuck out nursing as a career, how'd you do it? What habits/personality traits do you think kept you from letting your personal life go into the gutter?

More important, when you are going through a rough time, what steps do you take to make sure your mood doesn't reflect in your work? Self awareness is not enough for me so far. I see what I am doing as a nurse and don't like it. I don't spend as much time with the patients, I am in a hurry to get out of the room. I am less focused, more task oriented. I also have less patience with co-workers and their peeves. I tell myself every day I go to work that I am going to make this day an exception and be the cheerful nurse I always used to be. It never happens though. How does someone keep the happy face/caring mentality alive in hard times?

[nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN]

You can't, unless you're on heavy drugs. You are a human being. You are not a robot. You are not a "Stepford wife" nurse. You've got a lot of sad stuff going on, and guess what -- you're sad. But you have the right to be.

When the crap hits the fan, I think you need to do spiritual/emotional debridement. Just like a diabetic foot won't heal unless it's cleaned out and tended too, neither will we. You take a good long look at what hurts. Maybe it's a failing relationship that's put some major dings in your faith in yourself. Maybe it's coworkers who only pat you on the back when they're looking for a place to stick the knife. But in the little dark space in the bottom of your soul, where it's just you -- no family wanting you to do this, no friends wanting you to do that, none of the little barbs we stick in ourselves about being too fat or too ugly or too whatever, just the plain old YOU -- sit down, look in the mirror, and tell yourself you are worth the effort it takes to be happy. Whether it's going to sit on a beach and look at the water, or going to a spa and have people waiting on you instead of you waiting on other people -- find it and do it.

You can't save anyone else if you don't save you first.

[ohmeowzer RN, RN]

You can't, unless you're on heavy drugs. You are a human being. You are not a robot. You are not a "Stepford wife" nurse. You've got a lot of sad stuff going on, and guess what -- you're sad. But you have the right to be.

When the crap hits the fan, I think you need to do spiritual/emotional debridement. Just like a diabetic foot won't heal unless it's cleaned out and tended too, neither will we. You take a good long look at what hurts. Maybe it's a failing relationship that's put some major dings in your faith in yourself. Maybe it's coworkers who only pat you on the back when they're looking for a place to stick the knife. But in the little dark space in the bottom of your soul, where it's just you -- no family wanting you to do this, no friends wanting you to do that, none of the little barbs we stick in ourselves about being too fat or too ugly or too whatever, just the plain old YOU -- sit down, look in the mirror, and tell yourself you are worth the effort it takes to be happy. Whether it's going to sit on a beach and look at the water, or going to a spa and have people waiting on you instead of you waiting on other people -- find it and do it.

You can't save anyone else if you don't save you first.

you hit the nail right on the head.. this is a wonderful post , thank you so much for posting this...truer words were never spoken..:yeah::redpinkhe:redpinkhe:nurse::nurse:

Robin RN, BSN

[dishes, BSN, RN]

Take time away from work you cannot help depressed and stressed people when you are feeling the same way yourself. Speak to your physician, let him/ her know how you are feeling, you may be able to work part of the week and use the remaining as sick time or alternate your schedule in some way. This way you will have time to adjust to the changes in your life and not feel overwhelmed by the patients. You will get through this... you will feel stronger and your compassion will return.

kindest regards

dishes

[DeepFriedRN]

You know Erik, I have the same tendency--to draw into myself when things are difficult. I'm not a big sharer. So I understand that part totally. It's really hard to help other people when you are hurting yourself, particularly when you bottle things up and/or don't have an outlet of some kind-it always makes me feel kind of resentful (ie I know your husband hasn't been bathed, could I have a second while MY LIFE FALLS APART-kinda like that), even though I rationally know it's not the patients fault. I think nerd hit the nail on the head. Find a thing that makes you happy, makes you decompress. You deserve it, and you need it. Feel better dude. Divorce sucks.

ETA:I love the title of this thread..

[MedicalLPN, LPN]

The posts here are excellent. I think with nursing it's so easy to lose yourself, or at least that's something that I've struggled with the past two years. And when you're going through a hard time it's hard to give to your patients when you don't feel like there's nothing more you can give. There's some excellent feedback and advice here, utilize it, don't lose yourself and do what you must to take care of yourself.

[Ahhphoey]

Honestly, when I've hit rough patches in my life I used my work to get me through them. Working helped divert my attention from what was going on at home so I just delved into doing my best and going the extra mile everyday. I may not have shown attitude wise what was going on, but my coworkers did notice because despite my job performance, I was hitting up the snack machine and cafeteria several times a shift, lol! But you know what, time passed and I made it through. When I began to feel burned out with my position, I switched to a different department; I went from LTC to med-surg to ICU to bedflow and now am a supervisor. Each move has renewed my passion for nursing while also keeping me somewhat sane :icon_roll (but then again what nurse is really 100% sane anyway?) Good luck.

[faline1973]

I have found that keeping a journal really helps me. I keep a private journal. Mostly it is letters that I write that will never be sent. I write them to the people I want to thank. The people I want to choke. I never send them. I even write them to nasty, mean, demanding patients who exhaust me. (I don't use names for my patients, just initials).

I'll write Dear JD, Tonight, you have exhausted me. Your endless requests for phenergan, dilaudid, and ativan while you laughed on your cell phone and told your friend what a great "high" you were getting stole time from me that I could have given to patients who are truly here to get healthy..blah blah blah.

If I don't have anyone to write to, I write a 'love letter' to myself. I remind myself of my strengths. I remind myself of my short-term and long-term goals. I remind myself of nice things friends/coworkers have said to me recently.

That's what I do to make it through. (I also overeat, but I am hoping to get better).

[chicookie, BSN, RN]

My friend I think you have completed the first step to recovery: being aware of the problem. For now you do the best you can. Sometimes the only thing that can fix us is time to adjust.

Before I became a nurse I was a really happy person, then when I started I became a really unhappy mean person. Then I went through a really rough patch with my family, and what I did was forced myself to hang out with positive people. It sucked at first because they were all happy and whatnot and I wasn't but it really rubbed off on me. I hung out with people that knew I was having problems but knew I didn't want to talk about them so they didn't and they became my fresh air. I rediscovered old hobbies that made me feel like myself. Plus I got brand new physical hobbies and those led me to more happy people. ( I totally recommend fencing, nothing like beating the crap out of someone. LOL) and I finally reverted back to my happy self by slowing down and enjoying the happy spots in life. But it took a while. About a month or so ago, I was working and my coworker made a comment, and that is when it clicked with me. Finally I was showing my former self at work. (But it took what 7 months. geez)

I believe in you, my friend. I kept wondering about you since I don't see you around as much anymore. And I am really sorry that you are going through a hard time, I don't think you deserve it, who does really? But I think you can get through it. Just don't be too hard on yourself and take it easy.

[eriksoln, BSN, RN]

I was going to make a thread for this, but it ties into this topic a bit so I'll just put it here.

I got my first review/eval. at work today. Holy cow, it was spotless. Only critical part to me was that I punch in too early (they live 5 min. before or after). I've never had such a good evaluation.

Guess things are not as gloom at work as I thought. I might be doing a better job of being pleasant than I thought.

[flightnurse2b, LPN]

cheer up, eriks.

here's a picture i like to look at when i am feeling kind of down in the dumps. always makes me laugh: http://tinyurl.com/2g9mqh

:)

[eriksoln, BSN, RN]

OMG..............I opened the link. I am Rick Rolled.