RNs- Mostly first born? Alcoholic fathers? - page 5

KristyBRN's thread on this topic is very interesting. She has heard that many RNs are first borns of alcoholic fathers. I thought we could use a quantitative poll on the subject.- *Please add any... Read More

  1. by   NeoNurseTX
    oh weird ! i'm an only child (of my mom's) and my dad was supposedly an alcoholic before i was born.
  2. by   Transplant Nurse
    I would definitely like to see a spinon this one with a mentally ill parent thrown into the mix. It certainly has to be somewhat equivalent to the alcoholic variety.
  3. by   NurseExec
    Interesting poll. I'm the oldest of a bipolar, alcoholic father. I was blown away by the results of this poll--thanks to the thread starter.
  4. by   lpnflorida
    Quote from Hellllllo Nurse
    KristyBRN's thread on this topic is very interesting. She has heard that many RNs are first borns of alcoholic fathers. I thought we could use a quantitative poll on the subject.- *Please add any comment you wish, i.e. tell us if you are an only or first born.

    Please choose the option that best describes you-
    A study I read years ago was not RN specific, however it did relay that most people who are in the field of health care, are caretakers ( coming from dysfunctional families whether it was due to alcoholism, or other issues within their families of origin) and yes , I do believe most also happened to be First Born's. However that is not to imply only First Born's or people coming from dysfunction are the only people who work in health care.. What I love the most about so called studies or statistics are that they can be ,and often are skewed to reflect whatever the writer wants to prove the results they want to write about.
    Last edit by lpnflorida on Aug 29, '08 : Reason: added thought
  5. by   aloevera
    Yep, both mom and dad drank......but I am second born...
    first female that is an RN, tho....
    (I don't drink but ended up marrying not 1 but 2 alcoholics !!)
    Go figure....
  6. by   Pedi-Gree
    Eldest of four, RN, alcoholic military father. When I looked at the list of characteristics of ACOAs, I saw myself in many of them. We were latchkey kids before anybody had coined the phrase. I was responsible for 2 of my sibs while both parents were at work (Dad was a shiftworker and Mom worked evenings as a waitress) by the time I was 11. When baby sister was born when I was 14, sister #1 was 12 1/2 and brother was 9 1/2 ( ) Mom wasn't interested in mothering her much so into the breach stepped I. Looking for "love" in all the wrong places found me pregnant at 18 and totally in denial. After I gave up the baby for adoption, I took the first opportunity to get out from under the dysfunctional family I was born into, and have now spent more than 30 years in a parallel universe where the addicted party isn't into alcohol but self-gratification. It's all about him 24/7. I drink socially, sometimes.

    Sister #1 abuses alcohol but not to the extent Dad does; she's a very ambitious and aggressive person who doesn't let anyone get close to her. She had a disastrous marriage entered into when she was 17 and now has a daughter with borderline personality disorder. Brother has never managed to get it together and has drifted from dead-end job to dead-end job, manipulative relationships with older women and is working himself to death. He had an alcohol problem but has managed to overcome it. Little sister is on permanent disability for chronic severe dperession, social phobia, anxiety disorder, body dysmorphic disorder and psychotic features.

    Parents are still living and still together. Both are also ACOAs (paternal). Dad was the oldest son and second-born. His father died of lung cancer when Dad was 25. Mom was the fourth of six girls; her father committed suicide when she was 6 and her mother was mentally ill for most of her adult life. Dad's drinking is still in the forefront; when they come to visit he stops at the liquor mart before they get here, to make sure he has enough rye to last the time he's here. He knows I won't buy it for him. Mom just does her own thing. Only little sister lives in the same town as them; she's codependent and "delicate".
  7. by   aloevera
    Some think it's holding on that makes one strong: sometimes it's letting go.......I REALLY NEEDED THAT....THANK YOU !!!

    My youngest son just left for College this year 300 mi. away and I am trying to keep up the happy face and excitement to share with him...
    He is going great but I have lost my right arm, if seems like...we are very close...But I am so proud of him....I am glad he got away from his alcoholic father (he loves him, he was never cruel to him) to see how "normal" people live....thank for letting me express some pent up feelings.
  8. by   Pedi-Gree
    I've always believed that my job as a parent was to enable my children to be independent adults who work hard, are respected by their peers and are happy in their relationships. Letting go is really hard, but it's the proof of the pudding, don't you think? My daughters are independent, successful, respected and working toward happy, and I think I've done a good job getting them there. Just as you have, aloevera, in getting your son to where he is. The day will come when he recognizes what you've accomplished and provided for him and he'll thank you for it.
  9. by   aloevera
    Pedi-Gree---- You are so right, that is exactly what we strive to do for our children....we give them roots but we must also allow them wings...

    I know you are so proud of your daughters as I am my son...this is just the tough part now..the beginning of him being away...but he called today and sounded great, getting involved in activities and I am so relieved that he isn't too homesick.....Thank you for your input...
  10. by   aloevera
    Oh, and on another note, Pedi-Gree---you overcame alot growing up it seems...I, too, was a latchkey kid when I was 6 yrs. old..before the saying also.....Brother was a drinker, died of pancreatic cancer....
    I didn't drink (rarely) but did marry 2 of them....how insane must I have been...!!!! I don't think my son will drink after seeing the problems caused by his father's drinking...I prey not.....
    Seems like you must be the strongest of your siblings to have overcome what you have...God Bless and take care....
  11. by   NCRN0802
    I am a LPN with a seriously crazy, drug addicted, alcoholic mother and a dad that was basically absent. I was the second child of two.
  12. by   NCRN0802
  13. by   Not_A_Hat_Person
    RN. Oldest of 3 kids. Neither parent was alcoholic, but 1 is deeply depressed, and the other is an extremely religious hoarder. They split up when I was in my teens. When Dad left, I picked up a lot of slack.