Please help me!

  1. Please help me! I am almost 18. (will soon be starting school to become a nurse!) Does anyone know of anywhere online I can find some help on how to talk to my 12 year olds cousin. Her father used to say inappropriate sexual things to me. And I recently found out he touched my older sister when she was about 13. From what I hear he has either said or done something to almost all of his nieces and Im afraid he will do the same to his daughter. I dont want to tell her what her father has done I just want to talk to her about if anyone ever touches you there... But Im not sure how to bring it up. Im not sure if its even my place to talk to her but Im afraid no one else will. I have told her mother about what he did to me and she is still with him. I just dont think she will bring up that conversation with my cousin. I just dont know where to look online if anyone has any ideas PLEASE!!! let me know. I need all the help I can get! I would also like to say I think there are some great peolpe on this site. I come to this site often just to read about issues you discuss. It has really helped me to decide that nursing is really what Id love to do. Your opinions and views have helped me so much. Thank you!!
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    About Pam_owm

    Joined: Aug '01; Posts: 3


  3. by   semstr
    Talk to your cousin, she's 12 or 13, so she knows what you are talking about.
    When nothing else works, talk to your own parents about this.
    Talk to the teacher of your cousin.
    Talk with your other cousins, who were abused and go to the police!! But don't wait too long!

    Can you go to the police like that in the States? I guess so, do it!
    Any man who does things like that, should be in prison for the rest of his life!

    Take care, Renee
  4. by   Talino
    Be very careful! You can easily ruin a person's life including his family's with one allegation.

    But, be very vigilant! A child's life may be in jeopardy.

    This URL will familiarize you about child abuse...

    Pls. take time to explore it.

  5. by   GPatty
    1)Just like you did here....
    2)maybe you could even talk to her about another incidence that's happened to another child somewhere...
    3)just talk as a cousin and tell her that you will be going to college soon and you just want her to be safeguarded against anything or anyone that may hurt her, just like you will have to protect yourself...

    Prayer wouldn't hurt either! Let the Lord handle it, and He will give you the words...

  6. by   frustratedRN
    if you talk to her teacher then her teacher will have to report this to child welfare. teachers, like nurses are mandated reporters.
    as said before, just be very careful.
  7. by   Pam_owm
    I think using another child situation is a really great idea becuse I dont want to be the one to tell her what kind of man her father is, she can figure that out as she gets older because of course the man has other issues as well. I just want the discussion to be general. Is there a way to make her feel comfortable enough to come to me, or someone else because when he did this stuff to my sister he used a kind of scare tactic. How do you get her to not let someone scare her? To make her understand that things can be done about it?
    I cant put him in jail because my sister isnt willing to come forward she just told me a year ago and it happened 10 years ago. He only said things to me and I dont think that would make much of a case.
  8. by   Rustyhammer
    Let your 12 year old cousin know that now that she is developing into a young woman there are some things she needs to be aware of.
    Most adults are kind and considerate but there ARE some who can manipulate a young person to participate in something they don't want to do. Many times these people are someone who is close to us (an uncle a good friend of the family and maybe even a parent).
    Please remember that your body is your own and even though you it is natural to be curious about sexual things one needs to be older to truly understand sexuality. Let her no that the best thing to tell a person is a firm "NO! I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT!"
    Also let her know that you are available to answer any questions that she may have (no matter how "dumb").
    I have had this chat with my daughter and she has been open and asked me sexual questions. She is now 14.
    Hope this helps a bit.