Patients Say the Darnedest Things - WIN $250! Nurses Week Contest 2018

Roy Fokker, BSN, RN · May 9, 2018

Patient brought in by BLS. 0830 am. Sunday. Beautiful weather outside.

Chief complaint? lady partsl discharge.

Times 10 days.

Before triaging patient to the waiting room, made the mistake of asking "why" she waited 10 days to be seen....

"Well, I would've come in sooner but my boyfriend liked the way it tasted...."

Roy Fokker, BSN, RN · May 9, 2018

Are we allowed to post pictures? HIPAA compliant ofcourse?

kennedey31 · May 9, 2018

Caring for a geriatric patient and charge nurse for the floor I had to redirect him for most of the night. He was mildly confused and loved to talk. One of the hours I rounded on him he told me that he could not sleep without his wife and he was distraught. I comforted him and before I knew it he was asking me, "so are you going to sleep with me?" ummm, no sir. I am not.. I had to hold in the laughs.

Caseface7 · May 9, 2018

Now I need to start off by saying I'm a 5'10" 200 pound female that played sports for the majority of my life and I heard an array of "compliments" from patients such as being sturdy and stout, but the one that takes the cake was when a patient told me 'you may have heard this before, but you're a perfectly proportioned Amazonian woman.... kinda like Wonder Woman'. Thanks?

mcgeebo · May 9, 2018

This one will stand out always when I think of an encounter with a patient.

Patient post knee surgery, using the CPM for rom exercises. Walk in, ask how patient is doing and if everything is okay. Patient says to me, " I'm okay, but I've been here awhile. You think you can move this machine to the right a tiny bit and I think I'll be enjoying my stay a little more. ". Long shift, and I'm not getting her request. Explained it's positioning is important. Patient states " You know, I'm just saying move it to the right a little and the vibrations will make it a better time"

oh! :wideyed:

Editorial Team / Admin · May 9, 2018

LAST CALL! Winner will be announced later in the afternoon.

Submit Your Ideas NOW!

Cleetz8 · May 9, 2018

"You're hair looks like ****."

- our dementia patient when asked how she was doing today.

arwms1215 · May 9, 2018

My patient told me that he was a Reverse Psychologist.

Onevalpal · May 9, 2018

86 year old lady coded on me (full code status)...shocked her twice. After last shock, she sat straight up and indignantly said "don't ever do that to me again!" She changed her code status after that...

NurseShay40 · May 9, 2018

I worked on a neuro unit. One night, I had a pleasant patient with dementia. He said that I resembled his girlfriend that he had many years ago. I chuckled, because I am African American and he is of caucasian descent. He then proceeded to say that his wife never knew about the girlfriend. I gasped because his wife was sitting right there in the room with us. I looked at her and she seemed to just ignore what he had just said. I didn't reply to his comment, I just walked out. I felt really bad for the wife.

aNephesh · May 9, 2018

I had a resident - 99 years old - who hardly said a thing and had 3 teeth. She walked her wheelchair down the hall with all three teeth showing in the largest grin I have seen on anybodies face. She said, "Hi, I am trying to make people smile today." I was having a bad day, and tried to smile, but it obviously was not convincing enough. She furrowed her eyebrows, then said "Well I like your beard." Then I grinned. She said "That did it, resumed her smiling, and went on her way. It really made my day.

kaelin0817 · May 9, 2018

The wildest thing that I have had a patient say to me is "if you don't give me some p****, you can't be my nurse", this was a home health patient so he was dismissed because you never can really tell what a person may try or do these days.