Patients Say the Darnedest Things - WIN $250! Nurses Week Contest 2018

[Brian S.]

We've all been there. In our time as nurses, we've heard patients say some pretty wild things. Whether it's off-the-wall reasons for how they came to need medical care or something as seemingly mundane as a catchphrase which a patient uttered that resulted in you having a laughing fit; those memorable phrases, reasons or moments could win you one of two $250 Amazon.com gift cards courtesy of relode.

Dust off those memories and leave them in the comment form below. The two grand prize winners will be announced during National Nurses Week but have no fear - even if you don't win one of the grand prizes, we are giving away some cool runner-up prize packs to two more lucky winners!

We all know that patients say the darnedest things, let us hear your best! Thanks for all that you, our nation's nurses, do and Happy National Nurses Week!

Be sure to enter our two previous contests for more chances to win...

• Fill in the Blank Contest
• National Nurses Week Cartoon Caption Contest (sponsored bu rukuku)

Have fun!

[button=https://allnurses.com/national_nurses_week-info.html]National Nurses Week Celebration

30 Days of Celebration / 8 Days of Giveaways[/button]

UPDATED May 9 ... and the winner is...

As promised, the winners are posted below. Thanks for all of the awesome and creative entries!!! Feel free to share!

[nicolyoung]

As I was doing wound care on a patient he was telling me how to do it and then he stopped and said you know what you know everything so I am not going to tell you anything else.. mind you he was upset about a call he received before I got there.The look on my face..🙄🙄🙄🙄 Then he looked and saw I was finished and was like .... I guess you do know what you are doing.. would you like a banana or apple or something.. I said no thanks and left🤔🤔🤔🤔

[haleyreese23]

I had a patient with sundowners and when her husband left for the night she would insist on looking for his phone number to call him. She told me the menu was a phone book but then she would get mad that there were no phone number in it. I just continued to hand her strange book like things throughout the night for her continue to look through as she was on a bed alarm and it was the only way to keep her in bed

[marytata]

"Miss I am requesting you wait on me as I am paying good money to be here," says a resident at the SNF, where I work.

[hendecott]

"Why do you have to pull the Taser out?"

[kmontgomery921]

During my assessment I asked my patient what brought them to the hospital.... She looks at me with a confused look on her face and says, "The ambulance..?"

[AshRN54]

6 year old boy post op. Was getting ready to take a shower and mom suggested he use the bathroom first.

He said "no mom I'll go in the shower like you tell us to do at home!" It was hilarious. Poor mother was mortified.

[wereallmadhere, ADN]

But WebMD says...

[pleaseacceptme]

Being a Korean American, one time I was sitting with an impulsive patient, and the patient screamed "GET ME OUT OF HERE! DON'T GIVE ME ANY NORTH KOREAN DRUGS YOU COMMIES!" I couldn't contain my laughter but we all know how impulsive patients can be

[OHSURN]

I worked at a group home. One of the residents was developmentally disabled and also bipolar. When she started to escalate, her behavior plan specified that we should avoid eye contact until she was calm. One staff would stay in the house and walk in a slow circle (kitchen, dining room, living room, kitchen, dining room, living room, etc.) avoiding her completely. This was the only thing that would deescalate her. As we did this, she would follow us around, screaming at the top of her lungs, "I'm calm! I'm calm!! I'm calm!!!" for about 30 minutes.

[Gracesmom0801]

I had a patient with Alzheimer's tell me I could shove her hearing aids up my @ss.

[Brian S.]

Thanks to everyone who has submitted an entry for our Patients Say the Darnedest Things Nurses Week 2018 contest. The winners have been selected and notified via private message so check your inbox to see if you've won! The grand prize winners have also had their winning entries turned into images and are posted in this topic! Thanks again and Happy Nurses Week!!!

[Nuhaamer]

One day they decided to change our scrubs at CCU into pale green with flowers on the top shirt. One patient came and said: it seems that you forgot to change your pajamas today on the way to work?!🤣🤣🤣🤣