OHSURN

“Don’t ask about family medical history- that didn’t end well for his last nurse.”

“And that, Mr. President, is how you alienate the entire planet in ten words or less (mic drop)!”

“Whatever you do, DON’T make fun of his costume!”

“(Singing)You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em...”

Nurse Betty (Renee Zellweger)

“I’d like to dedicate this next song to my political career (Cue: Another One Bites the Dust).”

“Don’t look so glum, Stan. I got Edward Scissor Hands!”

“Wait a minute- this isn’t the Last Comic Standing audition?”

Drat! That gambling addiction of mine pops up again.....

According to Dr. Jekyll, this medication has worked wonders for his patients with yellow fever!

When I find myself in times of trouble Mother Mary comes to me Speaking words of wisdom, let it be And in my hour of darkness She is standing right in front of me Speaking words of wisdom, let it be Let it be, let it be Let it be, let it be Whisper words of wisdom, let it be And when the broken-hearted people Living in the world agree There will be an answer, let it be For though they may be parted There is still a chance that they will see There will be an answer, let it be Let it be, let it be Let it be, let it be Yeah, there will be an answer, let it be Let it be, let it be Let it be, let it be Whisper words of wisdom, let it be Let it be, let it be Ah, let it be, yeah, let it be Whisper words of wisdom, let it be And when the night is cloudy There is still a light that shines on me Shine on until tomorrow, let it be I wake up to the sound of music, Mother Mary comes to me Speaking words of wisdom, let it be Let it be, let it be Let it be, yeah, let it be Oh, there will be an answer, let it be Let it be, let it be Let it be, yeah, let it be Whisper words of wisdom, let it be The Beatles - Let It Be

I was the L & D nurse supporting a CNM in training at a freestanding birth center. This baby was coming fast and the mom was standing up. As the CNM sprinted to mom, the CNM's hand accidentally caught the tray table with the sterilized equipment, sending all the instruments flying. She was shouting "Don't push! Don't push!" in Spanish. One of us grabbed a pillow and put it on the floor, below mom's legs. The CNM caught the baby, but then he slid through her hands and landed on the pillow. The dad exclaimed, "Se callo (he fell!)"

Try to find a middle ground between being the employee who never speaks up and the one who is the first to complain. When leaving a job, don't burn your bridges by criticizing your boss or anyone else on the way out (learned that one the hard way). Volunteer for projects when your supervisor asks, but don't become a doormat who never says no. For every negative comment you put into the world, make a positive one. Instead of becoming a workaholic or the first person to clock out and the last person to clock in, aim to be the reliable co-worker with an easy smile and a willingness to learn. In summary: maintain a sense of balance in your life, at work and at home:-)

I worked at a group home. One of the residents was developmentally disabled and also bipolar. When she started to escalate, her behavior plan specified that we should avoid eye contact until she was calm. One staff would stay in the house and walk in a slow circle (kitchen, dining room, living room, kitchen, dining room, living room, etc.) avoiding her completely. This was the only thing that would deescalate her. As we did this, she would follow us around, screaming at the top of her lungs, "I'm calm! I'm calm!! I'm calm!!!" for about 30 minutes.

Sorry-if you want a gastric bypass on one stomach, we need to do it on all of them!