past medication error help

[nurse3847]

I really need some help and advise. I made a pretty serious medication error 2 years ago, I was 3 months off of orientation at my first job in the ER, and didn't tell anyone and I documented that it was given as directed. I have been haunted with this mistake since it happened. I wish everyday that I could go back to that day and do things different. I really want to make things right, I want to make things right for the patient, and myself so that I can move on and start fresh. I know this means that I will probably lose my license. I can not keep living in a state of anxiety, and depression. I don't even know where to start in this process. Should I contact an attorney, or should I contact my state Bord of Nursing? Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? Where did you start? I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place, and have been seriously depressed, like no matter what I do in this situation (not report the mistake stay depressed or worse, report it get in trouble, lose my license go to jail, lose my family or worse). It just feels like an impossible situation. PLEASE HELP!!!

[Orion81RN]

Please seek medical help. Just....please

[TriciaJ, RN]

Please start with your own doctor. Hopefully s/he can refer you to someone you can talk to about this. With some guidance you can determine what your next step is. There is a way out of this; just please call your doctor today to take the first step. Good luck.

[brownbook]

Did the patient die? Was the patient permanently injured?

I am sorry for you and what happened. Hold your head up high, take a deep breath, and forgive yourself. Also give yourself a lot of credit for feeling so guilty. I know for a fact many nurses have done the same thing. And I am sure doctors also. Not to the extent a patient was harmed, but still knew they made med errors and they didn't report it. They shrug it off as no big deal, they obviously don't have the conscience or morality you do.

It is wrong, you know it is wrong you will never do it again.

If you have been working hard as a good nurse since then, then personally I don't think any good will be done by you trying to report it to someone.

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

You are looking for absolution that isn't going to come from anywhere except inside yourself. See a counselor. I wish you well.

[Irish_Mist, BSN, RN]

Forget contacting an attorney or turning yourself in. Take a deep breath.

Do you honestly think you are the only nurse in the history of nursing to have made a med error? You are HUMAN. So you didn't turn yourself in. You got scared and were fresh off orientation. Talk to a mental health professional and get this off your chest.

Forgive yourself. Breathe. You can overcome this.