Nurses EAT their own!!! Help!

[jaxnRN]

I am getting very depressed. I was working in a small OB office until last October. I worked with different women and we had our days but worked things out.

Well, I started at a hospital in October, (career change) and am working in OB. But, within the first 2 hours of work, I noticed something that might be the norm to some of you.

EVERY SINGLE nurse had something bad to say about another. Whether it was about her looks, her work, her anything!!! I didn't listen, as I always form my own opinions about everyone. But the problem is getting worse. It is almost like everyone is stabbing everyone else in the back. Little things, big things. I can't take it!!!!

If someone has a problem with me, I would rather they come to my face and tell me about it. I want EVEYRONE to just get along. I want us all to be NURSES, and be at our job for the patients. To stick together, to stick up for each other. The way that doctors do. But I am learning that nurses eat their own.

I don't know what to do. I interupt someone if they start talking negative about someone else. I don't listen and if I do hear it, I ignore it. I don't put in my 2 cents.

I know that I won't fix the world with this but does anyone have this as a major problem where they work??

I don't know who to trust. A nurse the other day told me to watch out for a couple of nurses who like to report things to administration. One of the nurses I THINK is my friend. BUt now I don't know.

I can't stand the phoniness in someone's actions when two minutes before they were talking really bad about that person. It's like junior high again and I hated junior high. It is another reason that I don't have too many women friends.....which is sad.

I don't know if I am being a victim of the problem but I would like to know, I think. I just don't know if I want to work somewhere like this. What do you think???????

[mattsmom81]

Shrinky, I agree, the dog eat dog mentaility is really pushed out there today. Kinder and gentler seems to be out of vogue.

[Disablednurse]

You know, it is all nursing areas. When I was DON in LTC, we would have CNAs quit because of how they were treated by the other CNAs and you could not make them understand that if they would treat them like they wanted to be treated, they would never have to work short or extra and would be able to get time off when they wanted it. It has never made sense to me..

[SmilingBluEyes]

ITA= In Total Agreement.

[cwazycwissyRN, RN]

I dont't really care if it is a woman thing, man thing, nurse thing or worldwide thing.

What I do care about, is that we are professional people. I see us striving as nurses be treated like professionals. We want Dr.s to treat us with respect. We would like society to respect the profession. We are surprised when our patients do not know what is required to become an nurse.

I do not have the same expectaions from profesional nurses, that I have on other profesions. The people working at Mcdonalds can b..... and moan at each other until the cows come home.

Others see how we treat each other. How can I expect a Dr. to respect the nursing staff, when we don't even treat each other with respect.

I believe the words "nurses eat their young" gives some people the feeling they have permission to ack a fool, and not suffer any recourse from their actions.......because this have been going on forever .

Until we learn how to treat each other with a professional ethic.... I do not believe we have a right to expect other to treat us with a professioal ethic......let along be viewed as professionals......

[Ariko]

Originally posted by KC CHICK

I know this sounds bad, but ...here it goes anyway....

I think this backstabbing is a problem of WOMEN and not of nurses in general. I've worked with men in an office environment (before I became a nurse)...and they don't behave in the catty way that women tend to do. Working with women in that same office, I observed much backstabbing and rudeness.

Sorry to say gals (myself included), but I see it as a gender issue...not a nursing issue. -OR- A gender issue that affects nursing....that might be a better way to put it.

Anne:D

Well, I'm glad a woman said it first, because if a man said it, he would be considered sexist.

I have entered nursing in my late 40's, and after a successful career elsewhere, and I agree that it is a gender issue. To dwell on why that may be so it really asking for it, so I will demure to others more bold.

[baseline]

I have attended many MD meetings lately. ED, Medicine, Infection Control and the list goes on. The pettiness that can go on there could very definetly change your mind. Most of them are men. Some women. Some Americans. Some of other nationalities. Pissin and moanin and a whinin away. Blah Blah Blah.

[mark_LD_RN]

Originally posted by KC CHICK

I know this sounds bad, but ...here it goes anyway....

I think this backstabbing is a problem of WOMEN and not of nurses in general. I've worked with men in an office environment (before I became a nurse)...and they don't behave in the catty way that women tend to do. Working with women in that same office, I observed much backstabbing and rudeness.

Sorry to say gals (myself included), but I see it as a gender issue...not a nursing issue. -OR- A gender issue that affects nursing....that might be a better way to put it.

Anne:D

I tend to agree with this view mostly. I have noticed it and been through it first hand. I have been stabbed in the back and had thing made up about me numerous times in the past , i find it was out of jealousy mostly. and it was always done by a female coworker ,never had a male coworker do such a thing. but i am sure there are males out there that would do it:)

[gizzy76]

I understand exactly what the original poster is getting at...what do you do? My father taught me to stay out of that stuff, walk away or ignore it etc and not join in. Well, I am a new employee to a LTC facility and the one day in report EVERYONE was crabbing about a certain RN. I felt completely ashamed to be there but I could not leave because it was report and being the 'newbie' I did not feel that it was my right to say "Okay, can we get back to the task at hand please". I did approach the RN who was orientating me later on and asked her that if I did anything that I hoped the staff would be good enough to tell me to my face and not behind my back. She just nodded, couldn't look at me and said "Yes, yes, of course, don't worry."

Well, I AM worried. Being a new grad, I'm very scared that people will begin talking if I screw up and because I don't know everything about my new place of employment. It does not help that I am in a small town either.

There is only 1 male who works in the facility; he's a Nursing Attendant and everyone talks about him as well and how incompetent he is.

It makes me very, very sad that we have to be like this.

[baseline]

We as humans tend to be that way. Small communities in particular. Now....is this "small" community a hospital? a village?, an apartment buiding in Brookln?

If you don't like it, don't become part of it. If you don't believe something, say so. Do the best job you can do and if you can look at the person in the mirror before you go to bed, and feel good about who that person is.........sleep well.

[gizzy76]

Small community is the town of about 3000 people. Everyone knows everyone etc. Thanks for your insight though baseline, it's just hard sometimes.

[baseline]

I guess I need to clarify what I meant, as I reread my post and got confused myself!!! LOL.

I meant that small communities can exist anywhere, and that its not nurses in particular who gossip and are backstabbing. Humans in general and especially in their own "small" community be it a hospital, village or an apartment in Brooklyn.

But yes, I grew up in a small town and my father was quite prominent figure so nothing I did escaped public scrutiny.

[mario_ragucci]

Lol baseline, you make sense and it's okay to go off :-)