Needing encouragement, trying to get past being fired a few years ago.....

  1. I have found myself at a place in my life where I feel pretty hopeless, or at the very least, very very discouraged about my future in this profression. My first job as an RN was in 2008. I was hired off-cycle- most hospitals where I live have their new graduates start in Jan. or June so that they can be part of the "new grad" classes that go on for about six months. I graduated in Feb. of that year and started my job in April. I was hired for a floor/unit that I really didn't want to do, but I was desperate for a job. I was hired for pediatric med-surg. Let me be the first to say that this and ICU are not my favorite parts of nursing; I find all the noise, machines beep, and all that to be very overwhelming for my already anxious mind and heart. Whatever, I took the job anyway because my husband was pressuring me. During the course of my training on that unit, my first preceptor was having her own marital problems and was burnt out. She decided she did not want to be a preceptor anymore, told our bosses, and then un-assigned herself from the hospital's preceptorship program. I was then placed with a rather good RN who had NEVER been a preceptor, ever. She never had attended any training on how to train or teach...NOTHING. she was just sort of assigned to me. Let me also say that during this time I was diagnosed with some major hand/arm issues that rendered me with extreme difficulty in writing. I am a part-time writer, yet, my effective writing skills were completely shut down. What took me usually ten minutes to write ended up taking me 30 minutes. During this time at this hospital, my unit manager left and moved out of state, and my unit director was fired. Also during this time, I found out my husband was cheating on me.....we began the separation and early stages of the divorce during this time. I never ever EVER talked about it at work, I always kept it separate and never wanted to let it carryover to my job. We were supposed to have weekly progress meetings per the unit new-grad policy, but whenever I showed up to them.....the clinical education person or my manager didn't show up. This happened quite a bit. One day my preceptor and I were floated to another unit. At about 9am she went to a meeting, then came back and told me that the interim-manager needed to talk to me. I went to my home unit, where my interim-manager was located and some lady I had never met was in the office. She was evidently on call for our interim-unit director, who was on vacation (imagine! taking the position as an interim-unit director and then going right on vacation! geez.....) The first thing she said to me was--and I will never EVER forget this-- "I have made the decision to release you of your nursing duties." No hello, no good afternoon, NOTHING. <br> I was shellshocked, absolutely caught off guard. They never really would give me a reason except that I was not a good fit for the unit. Right after this happened (July 2008) I had surgery to correct the issues with my hands and arms. I was then offered the chance to work in an ICU at a very busy community hospital. I was so, so so traumatized from the experience with my first nursing job that I felt off-kilter the entire time. The patient acuity and pace of the unit was not for me, and I made the decision that I would try another area of nursing within nursing. So, that is pediatric med-surg and ICU that aren't for me. Is anyone keeping count? I am :/
    I was hired for a day surgery center to be a peri-operative RN in december 2008. I have now been there three years. I have an excellent record at this job I have been at for three years-- a good attendance record, and I have learned a lot and grown so very much. The environment is the complete opposite of hospital nursing. I am one of two nurses in our center, and I am cross trained to run a radiology machine. I am their infection control person and their safety manager. I do A LOT for this company, but, I am ready to move on. This has been a very nurturing envvironment for me; this is the kind of place where some people go to work and stay there forever. I am now looking to make a change, but the VERY traumatizing events from my first job STILL haunt me. I still feel worthless. I still feel scared, hopeless, like no one will want me. Is this normal? I know that given my anxiety, medical surgical nursing and ICU aren't for me. I don't care for ANYTHING to do with those specialties anyway, so ....that is fine. I am looking at case manager, utilization review....I have even thought about being a nurse liaison.
    I am friendly, outgoing, and work hard. I am very dedicated. I just feel so hopeless.
    Has anyone else ever been fired or let go from a nursing position? Like I happened over three years ago, but I still feel terrible about it. Am I screwed for the rest of my entire career because I was fired from ONE Place that I wasn't supposed to be hired for off-cycle anyway? My career wasn't supposed to be this way when it started three years ago. :/ Has anyone else ever gone through a few nursing specialties before they found one that worked for them? Please help me, I appreciate any advise, kind words, or explanation of similar life events that another successful RN went through. Can anyone suggest any jobs that might be a good fit for me?
    Last edit by nursingosaurus on Dec 11, '11 : Reason: spelling
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    Joined: Sep '08; Posts: 40; Likes: 11


  3. by   beast master RN
    idk but it sounds like you have a pretty sweet job now..? not to get to personable but why leave , if your good at what you do and your happy , really happy, no amount of money in the world is worth that. but if you must leave , do it in good relations, my brother , left his current rn job twice only to return back to it because he realized more money doesn't always equal more happiness , prob not a ton of help but good luck with what ever you decide
  4. by   nursingosaurus
    well, it has to do with a lot of things.

    1. I am concerned about the direction that my employer is going. There have been some decisions that concern me that they have made regarding personnel, behavior of physicians/staff, etc.

    2. We have another location about thirty miles away. They can't seem to make their staff show up to work, so they are always calling me up there. It's quite far from my house, I don't get paid for the mileage, and when I do go up there....all the remaining staff makes fun of the place where I work (the place sending them help!!!)

    3. I make about 8-10 an hour less than most other nurses with my experience. I know it isn't about the money necessarily, but----here's the thing--- I am making what an LVN makes yet I am an RN. No offense intended to LVNs or LPNs, it is just I worked really hard to become an RN.....

    4. There is zero, zero zero room for professional growth.

    5. I have a coworker trying to sabatoge me; they didn't hire her friend three years ago, but they hired me she has had it out for me ever since. She has destroyed my files, pointed out my mistakes in front of patients and doctors, talked poorly about me to really is incredible. YET, the person who has the final Say in all of this LOVES her, so she gets away with whatever she wants. I have told some fellow nursing friends about her behavior and actions....they were surprised she was still employed.

    When it comes down to it:
    I put a smile on my face and do my job. I keep a positive attitude while I am there. I try and ignore/deal with the BS and just focus on providing quality nursing care for my patients.

    That being I asked I doomed because I was fired one time three years ago?
  5. by   gettingbsn2msn
    Yes, I was fired after 3 years. I went on vacation with my children. The day before I was to come back the nurse manager called me on my cell phone. She stated "we need you in here now" and "you are suspended". I asked why and was never really given a reason. During my exit interview she told me "the nurses and patients just love you, this is hard to do". This is what I believe happened. During my review I had been given a 19 cent/hour raise. Gas was over $4/gallon. I asked if I could go perdiem on her floor as I new I would get a raise above the 19 cents. It would be a few dollars more. I believe my directness ruffled a few feathers and that was it. Terminated!

    Long story short--I am now in a masters program and a traveler. I make double what I made at this past job. If the people crap on me, I am gone. Life is much to short for drama and personality trauma. Good riddance.

    Here is what I wish for you--forget about whatever that @@@@ said. It does not matter in the scheme of things. I am an older nurse and people are so full of themselves. Sadly, some do not even know what tact is anymore. It sounds like you have had a great run at your current employment. I also get the part about moving on. We don't want to become stale. If you are anything like me, you like learning. If you take another position and see it not going well, move it on. Not worth your time or energy.

    I wish you the best!!!!
  6. by   gettingbsn2msn
    Ok, I just read your #3 that it isn't about the money. Sorry, but life is about the money. Ceo's make in the millions of dollars. It is high time that woman (I assume your a woman, so am I) stand up for their wages. Men have been doing it for years. I do not care if you are married to a millionaire, it is still about the money. You should be paid a fair wage for a fair days work. You also should be able to expect a professional environment. I learned my lesson the hard way. That is why I write on these boards. I do not wish anyone to go through some of the bull that I have been through!

  7. by   nursingosaurus
    Wow, I am so sorry that happened to you. I am so sorry someone was such a jerk to you. You are absolutely right. I really have kept all of this inside for so long. I have been so embarrassed about it for so long, like I was a failure or a horrible nurse.

    When it was all happening I couldn't believe it. It felt like a horrible dream. Temporarily losing my ability to write (something I love).....going through a horrible separation then divorce...then fired??? The worst thing about it was that this hospital had been a placed I LONGED to work at for so long. I had yearned to work there, and when I got the job I was so desperate for it (my ex basically told me I had to get a job or else) and so happy to be working there that I just....couldn't believe it ended up that way.

    It feels good to talk about it and receive encouragement!!! I have grown enormously....I really feel like this job helped me "grow up" in a lot of ways.

    I appreciate the advice and will follow in your footsteps. THANK YOU!!!
  8. by   gettingbsn2msn
    And good god no, you are not doomed for being fired. It happens all the time with nurses. I got my travel gig 6 weeks after I was fired. The only reason it was 6 weeks is that I was depressed for days, otherwise I would have been working sooner!
  9. by   nurseprnRN
    i hear you having done well for three years in a place that has nurtured you and allowed you to grow in your roles. excellent. it's easier said than done, i know (oh, how i know) to forget a traumatic experience like the one you had. and yet, it is exactly what we have to do to move on with our successes. of course you can't just shut it off. but you can plan for what you will do when those intrusive thoughts come up. as i think i said somewhere else, i learned to replace any unwelcome thoughts as soon as i noticed them bothering me, with something funny. in my case, it was a stupid thing one of my cats used to do that always made me laugh. ok, it was stupid, but it gave my brain something else to do than think the bad thought, and after awhile my brain sorta forgot how to do that very well, since i wasn't reinforcing the bad memory by keeping the needle in that groove all the time. if you have a hard time c that, seek some professional help-- just a couple of sessions, like pt for a sore back, can help you learn your own first aid, what you can do to recognize and treat your symptoms yourself, and when to seek help for things beyond the first-aid level. that's what we have them for.

    after that, i can suggest a couple of things, depending on what interests you:
    1) travel nursing, where you can go and nobody knows your name :d but they will see what you can do
    2) consult for a surgical manufacturer, somebody that makes equipment you've been using a lot the last three years, and teach other people how to use it. they love people who are articulate and good teachers, there's some fun travel involved (you really get to loove expense accounts, even if you never abuse the privilege) and the pay ain't bad. they also always need intelligent help with their written product, to help develop teaching materials and such. learn how to produce a packet for ceus they can offer for free and that will get their sales people in the door. remind them of that.
    3) get your infection control specialist certification. big demand for that, esp if you combine it with (2). now you're cooking.

    if you're not really hating where you are, stay there for the paycheck while you get those other ducks in a row. you've made yourself a nice little niche, really. now go have some fun c it.
  10. by   caliotter3
    Yes, it is normal to continue to feel the bad feelings from a firing or other negative personnel action. However, it is time to realize that as time goes on, the negative impact is being controlled by you. The longer you allow this to ruin your frame of mind, the longer you will suffer. No one else who was initially involved will feel any negative backlash. You are bringing bad feelings to yourself. Find a way to control this, stop it, and then prevent it. Turn it around to something positive. Why lengthen your sentence or change it to cruel and unusual punishment? You have to stop your negative reactions. No one can do this for you. Good luck.
  11. by   wooh
    As for making less in this position than other RNs with same experience:
    The better the job in nursing, usually the less it pays. You want to make what other RNs are making, you're going to have to put up with the crappy hours and stress that goes with where you work those hours. The grass might appear greener on the other side because of the money, but there's a lot of poo fertilizing that green grass.
  12. by   SuesquatchRN
    I'm good at being fired. I now know two things: I hate hospital nursing, and I do not belong in one. There are other areas of nursing in which I excel - the hospital, not so much.

    You may just not be cut out to be a hospital nurse, or you may have had two bad experiences. Only you know that. But clearly, you are employable. Figure out in what direction YOU want to go, not where you think you're supposed to.
  13. by   DutchRN09
    There is no greener grass. If you like the hours you have, I would stay
  14. by   Good Morning, Gil
    That kind of job loss must be difficult to deal with for the psyche, and I completely understand the feelings of inadequacy you must feel, but it sounds like that first position didn't give you much opportunity to succeed. Sounded like a nightmare. Who just calls you into the office and just fires you without reason? You weren't even given an opportunity to improve or told why you were let go. The system was more to blame than you; I know that probably doesn't help much, but what could you have done differently? They just called you in there, and fired you (probably budget reasons if they didn't say anything). You should be proud of yourself; you were thrown into a crappy situation, made the best of it, and were a good nurse despite your own personal issues at the time. And, you got over it, and found a good job with good hours where you excelled!

    I wish you the best. If you leave that awesome job (I know you said the pay isn't good, and that one nurse is catty and awful), just be sure you have a good one lined up where you will be happy. From your description, sounds like you might enjoy oncology nursing (still a learning curve, have to get chemo certified, but still demands a caring person but not as fast-paced as ER or ICU).