Manipulative Boss?

Nurses General Nursing

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Has anyone ever been in a position where they were made to feel guilty for leaving? Maybe I am interpereting this the wrong way, but I decided to take a new position in another area of nursing (at another hospital) and my NM's reaction to my notice has not been very positive. The NM said, "I want you to know I'm really hurt by this" and never misses an opportunity to remind me that it just doesn't make sense to do what I'm doing, especially since I will be making a lot less. So, of course I'm feeling about an inch tall. Another worker mentioned the NM was overheard telling another nurse, "Bridgett (me) is a damn good nurse, try to talk her into staying." I've told this NM that I'm very bored and frustrated and the NM claims to understand, but on the other hand, can't stop remarking about what an unwise decision I'm making...after more needling and passive-agressive criticizing I finally broke and told the NM I would stay...then the NM turned caring and sensitive and said (as he was leaving) I just want you to please think about this over the weekend.

Should I be flattered I'm thought so highly of that management is practically begging to stay, or does this seem like the manuipulation tactic of a selfish company manipulating its co-workers? Wonder what they would do if I asked for a raise?

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Specializes in Telemetry/Med-Surg.

The NM on my floo has used similar tactics with some nurses and I don't think it is fair to the employee or professional. If the reason you are leaving is for a new oppertunity and it is what you want than go for it! Don't let someone guilt you into staying if it's not what you want. You will just be unhappy. I would leave graciously so you don't burn any bridges in case you may need to cross that bridge in the future. But do what YOU want!

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It may be genuine. You should be grateful.

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Be thankful but be realistic I agree dont burn any bridges but you have to do what makes you happy. If you have an oppourtunity to do something that will make you happy go for it! Dont ask for more money, you are leaving for a job that pays less so money isnt the issue if they pay you more you will still be bored and restless. Congratulations on the new job.

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Specializes in ER, LTC, IHS.

Well why don't you tell him that you might consider staying with a raise and see what he says?

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Specializes in Psych, Med/Surg, LTC.

I wouldn't ask for more money... They already know you are bored and unhappy. It takes more than money to fix that and they know it. If you did end up staying, what would happen if there had to be some cuts made? Do you think they would keep you, knowing you aren't happy and will probably bail if you find something that you like more and would pay more? Probably not... I wonder if you would be the first to go since they already know you aren't happy to begin with. Once you tell them you are leaving... I feel it is important to actually leave unless an actual problem CAN be solved, like your boredom. If they could promote you or give you different duties or something that would actually prevent boredom, then I think it would be ok to stay.

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Specializes in LTC.

umm....Im having trouble understanding this.....how can any nurse be bored that works in a hospital? Are you doing desk work? What exactly is boring you? Maybe Im just crazy. Ive never had a boring shift. Ive had hellish, chaos, calm, descent,unruly,madness,semi ok.....shifts ...and many more but never a dull one. Do you need more to do? Or just something else out of a routine? If you were a nurse where I work and put in your notice my DON wouldnt bat an eye...she would most likely say to your face "well,I guess Id better get started on flipping through these applications. For each person that leaves Ive got 10 applicants waiting on a spot"...my boss doesnt care who comes or goes or why. Is your boss a man? Did I understand that right also? Is he married? Are you? It could be genuine, or it could be a tactic.....think carefully.....then decide for sure. Sounds like you had your mind made up to start with. Persuasion sucks. But like my 74 yr old nurse coworker always says..the grass isnt always greener on the other side.

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