First of all there is nothing at all wrong with you. I would almost bet that like a lot of us you have not actually changed the way you have lived since you became a nurse. This includes personal and recreational routines. The only exception might be that you are too exhausted both mentally and physically to do the things you use to because of the job.
Do you ever get a feeling of dread as you are driving into work? Do you want to turn around and go back home on the way? This is not you. This is the job. Do you want to see things change and have some control over how we practice? Are you tired of waiting for this to happen?
Join the crowd. Many of us are in the very same boat. I do not think I have to explain to you how things in nursing are not going to change until nurses take it on themselves to make the changes needed. This is just not going to happen with the attitude prevalent in nursing today. There are too many nurses waiting for the government or a union to step in and make the changes for them. Kind of stupid, if you ask me, to have to actually vote in a formal labor union and pay dues when nurses could al meet in an auditorium or other place and do the same thing.
You are loosing the spark you once had because it has been drained out of you. Some people would say it must be you. Some would argue that it is burnout. It is actually neither. It is just having to face the monster day in and out. It is a monster that nurses let it become. Nurses participated in it's birth. We nurtured it and allowed it to continue to evolve. Today, many of our most experienced nurses are being eaten alive by it. Why can't nurses kill it? We actually do have it in our power to take control of it and send it to the bowels of hell from where it came. This alone would probably stop a lot of the back biting that is so common place.
Unhappy people do unhappy things. They fight, argue, and are very rude to one another. If nurses were to focus their aggravation on actually taking control of the profession instead of each other, then I bet the changes that would occur would make our professional lives a lot happier, easier, and the spark would come back for many.
In other words, have you ever seen anyone really happy who did not have any control over their own life? If you sit down and figure it out, we spend more hours on the job than anything else in life, except for sleep.
I am not going to tell you that by getting away it is going to make the job anymore enjoyable. The truth is that no matter how much time you spend away from this job, either physically or mentally, the feeling you get on your drive into work will not change. The working environment you have to endure when you walk through the door will not change.
The only way things will actually change is when and if nurses stop hoping and praying for someone to step in and change things and actually do it themselves.
You might want to read another tread that is very similar to what you have mentioned here.