judgemental nurses/students - page 2

i continue to be amazed at the the number of judgmental nurses and students i've come in contact with, including on this site.who are we to judge people, we don't know their life story. maybe that... Read More

  1. by   dianajh73
    I worked for a couple of years as a case manager for people on cash assistance and food stamps. As one of my supervisors so eloquently put it "You go from bleeding heart to bleeding ulcer in record time". The limits (i.e. 5 years life time aid etc..) are great at getting certain people off of the system, but the majority of those who stay on aid find ways around the rules and blatantly abuse the system with no plans to get off.

    I LOVED helping people who needed help, but there were A LOT more of the people who demanded you give them everything they wanted. Being on welfare does not make you a bad person, by an means, but the majority of people that I worked with had NO intention of providing for themselves or their families. I lived to help the ones who just needed a leg up, but it is hard when you see the abuses.

    I am judgmental. I didn't start out that way. My life and experiences have led to stereotypes. Based on anecdotal evidence, but stereotypes all the same. I fight it constantly, but it is an internal fight nonetheless.

    We should all fight to keep an open mind and not make assumptions based on the limited amount of information we have. Empathy is key, but as many have pointed out, we are only human.

    We should all try to create a positive envrionment. While I may think thoughts that I'm not proud of, I really try to keep them to myself. Just my $.02 for getting along and staying happy.
  2. by   Xiomara
    Perhaps because the same 'critical thinking' that makes good nurses makes us extrapolate and assume things about the people we come in contact with. Perhaps because as nurses, we get burned by patients and their families on a daily bases, and it's our armor against that. Perhaps it's our way of coping with what can be a daunting profession. I find that myself (and some coworkers) often become judgemental when we are confronting sad situations that are difficult to make sense of. It is especially hard at my hospital, where the average educational level and upbringing of our patients and their families is very different from that of the staff.
  3. by   bekindtokittens
    Here's a favorite quote of mine, from a cartoon no less.

    "Society is never gonna make any progress until we all learn to pretend to like each other."
  4. by   cardiacRN2006
    Quote from 2BSure

    I don't think some allusion to "freedom of speech" or "rights" should be used as an excuse to be, at best, a jerk. We should be judged by how we behave towards those less fortunate than ourselves. This is nothing to do with being politically correct but directly to do with ignorance and small mindedness. If you are small minded you shouldn't keep silent out of fear but because you are ashamed of your lack of humanity.
    Quote from 2BSure
    More like for fear of being seen as exactly what we are...a jerk.
    How ironic! Probably the two most judgemental posts in this thread!
  5. by   mochabean
    "judge" means to make a decision, to evaluate, to form an opinion. people do it everyday- just like we're doing right now- in order to make sense of our world. isn't everyone entitled to their own opinion, or judgment, whether we agree with it or not? the people you work with sound like they are ignorant. . .or maybe what they’re saying has truth to it. we don’t know their life history either. it’s great to be open-minded, but that open-mindedness must also include thinking critically. it doesn’t make sense to accuse someone of being “judgmental” when you're doing the same exact thing you're accusing them of doing- basically condemning.
  6. by   2BSure
    Quote from cardiacRN2006
    How ironic! Probably the two most judgemental posts in this thread!
    I am not sure how it is ironic that I made a judgement. It was my intention and I do it all the time. Admittedly I was little harsh -- I'll wear that. At least I am picking on people my own "size" so to speak.

    I maintain that our society's litmus test should be how we treat those less fortunate or socially attractive than ourselves.
  7. by   cardiacRN2006
    Quote from 2BSure
    I maintain that our society's litmus test should be how we treat those less fortunate or socially attractive than ourselves.

    And I think it matters how we treat everyone. Truly good people treat everyone the same, not just those deemed less fortunate.
  8. by   2BSure
    On a far cooler note have a look at the Accuvein thread.

  9. by   VivaLasViejas
    Quote from cardiacRN2006
    And I think it matters how we treat everyone. Truly good people treat everyone the same, not just those deemed less fortunate.
    Or more fortunate..............I'm not a van of VIP treatment for the wealthy, celebrities, athletes and so on.
  10. by   Vito Andolini
    Quote from bigbee48
    getting back to original posting by k r ah, i really think after yrs of experience, it is impressed upon you how so many people cheat the system. i started out being so nieve, never knowing who had ins or what type of payment. i sometimes think we let people get to us to a point where we make these judgements to vent, we as nurses work very hard for our money, so when others get stuff for less or nothing, it outrages us. i now always get the whole story before i make judgements. i am currently working in law enforcement, answering 911, really opens your eyes, unreal what people call 911 for (or the police in general, i would never think about calling for some of the things they call for) anyway the same thing here, people call and disclose some of the most different things and you want to talk about prejudice, the general public is very judgemental and prejudice. my 0.02
    i also never used to give a thought to what insurance people had, if any, or to their occupation or lack of any, or anything but giving the best care i could give to every single patient i had.

    i still give the best care i can give to all my patients. it's just that now, after my eyes have been opened to so many things in the last 30+ years of living, i don't have the luxury of being ignorant and therefore, blissful. remember, for it is really true, ignorance is bliss. that is, when you have no idea of all the monstrous things people really do, you are so much happier and so much more able to feel kindly toward them, like them, and have all of those good-feeling emotions about and towards them. try not being judgmental of someone who has abused children, raped children, or committed many other horrendous crimes. try caring for these people and see if you don't become just a little wary, a little less naive, more nervous and vigilant. having our eyes opened is not fun. try not judging someone who has hurt your son or daughter, your mother or your wife/husband. love just sort of flees away.

    when you really know what they really do, when you hear them [color=sandybrown]tell you how they have gotten over on other people or on "the system", the system that takes taxes out of your check and gives it out to cheaters like the people who are telling you how they actually cheat, well, it just doesn't feel so good.

    a hardness comes into your heart. you feel less loving, less kindly, less like spending time around them and doing for them. oh, you do your job. you clean their doo, you give them their teaching, their meds, their treatments and meals, you do all that a good nurse does. it's just a little harder. you convince yourself that there's more to the story, that maybe they were just trying, for some stupid reason, to get your goat or see if they could get you to be visibly upset.

    it's like a child learning that his parents don't really know everything, don't really have eyes in the back of their heads, don't really have all the answers. it's liberating but it's also scary and it can tend to anger you for having been taken in for so long. it makes you less trusting, maybe, too.

    so, enjoy loving everyone while you can. trust them all, judge no one. i hope your bubble never bursts. i don't wish upon anyone the knowledge i have of human nature. if you can keep unsullied from it, great. i have learned, through my nursing work, through news items (watergate, for instance), and so many other events, like a former pastor of mine having had several affairs, a whole lot more about people than i ever really wanted to know. let's just say that we all fall short of perfection. myself included, of course. i thank god that the sins of all humankind are paid for by jesus. that is my belief, anyway, as a christian. not pushing it on anyone, just letting you know how i keep semi-sane in all this ruckus.

    just a question about your definition, op, of "judging" and "judgmental". what do these words mean to you?

    the way i usually see them defined is that we are judging and being judgmental when we have the view of someone that is not the so-called pc view. to have a different opinion or view of someone or something is very much discouraged these days. i hate that about our modern world. :angryfire

    we need the truth. we need to see the truth, speak the truth, believe the truth. truth as each of us sees it is more desirable, imho, than just everyone being politically correct. naive is one thing. pc is forced upon us in schools, maybe in our religious places, certainly on the job. i'd rather have truth, honestly. as a black man, i'd rather know who really likes me and who can't stand me. just my .
  11. by   Vito Andolini
    Quote from bekindtokittens
    Here's a favorite quote of mine, from a cartoon no less.

    "Society is never gonna make any progress until we all learn to pretend to like each other."
    Well, I am pro being genteel and civilized toward everyone, whenever humanly possible.
    But I wonder what the definition is of "Progress". I think it should not be defined by pretense.
  12. by   GadgetRN71
    Never claimed to be a saint...ALL of us have biases, dislikes, preconceived notions. I treat all my patients respectfully, even the dirtbags. And they are out there. I work in a level one trauma center and get criminals, drug dealers, drunk drivers, welfare cheats etc. There is no law I have to like these people or approve of their stupidity.

    However, I am more than capable of biting my tongue and providing the same kind, competent care I give to everyone. Excuse me if deep down I'm fed up with people who cheat the system while I go to work with a chronic health condition every day.

    We should be allowed to vent here..as long as we don't say these things to patients, then it's all good.
  13. by   Lenee925
    There's a difference between being judgemental and bringing correction and wise judgement into a situation. For most of my 2 year lurkdom it just seems like people are simply overly opinionated and could stand to not be less so.