Is this considered bullying?

Nurses General Nursing

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Hi all :)

if I am wrong about this situation please let me know. I am a brand new nurse and I started my first job two weeks ago. My first week I noticed my preceptor was harsh on one of the nursing aides. She would gossip about her, and get frustrated with her over little stuff.

So, on my third or fourth shift, a bed alarm went off and I went running to make sure the patient wasn't about to fall. The nursing aide according to my preceptor does not get up fast enough. Which, okay I can for sure understand that. My preceptor told me she intentionally tried to push the nursing aide out of the way to prove a point to get up faster. Instead of pushing a nursing aide out of the way to prove a point-wouldn't it have been better to discuss it in person?

I like cristism, but I feel there is a certain way it should be said. She told me she will tell me "everything I'm doing wrong because that is what will make me a good nurse". I'm sorry if I'm wrong, but dealing with someone constantly putting me down I think would be a sign I should find a new job or maybe nursing isn't for me. I appreciate any feedback. Thanks so much.

A good preceptor cares if you succeed and will put effort into training you. They don't have to tell you things the way you like to hear them. I had a tough preceptor once, she was known to not be "nice" and she wasn't honestly. But she was one of the best nurses I've ever met. She put 100% into her work and was a fierce patient advocate. She would tell me honestly when I was moving too slow and why my prioritization was wrong in certain cases. She pointed out everything I was doing wrong and she didn't sugar coat it. But she put effort into training me and explained why what I was doing was not correct. She tried to provide learning opportunities for me.

There were times I wanted to cry and sometimes smack her instead of doing that I focused on improving myself and learning what she was trying to teach me. I didn't argue with her and was respectful to everyone on the unit, every single person and every single patient no matter how small and inadequate I felt.

This experience was not pleasant and was actually terrifying at times because the stakes were so high, the acuity was high and I had to be able to perform. It was the hardest learning experience I've ever had, but because of it, I have been able to handle anything that has come my way since. Unless you are being harassed, you will know the difference and not have to ask, keep your head down and learn as much as you can from the other nurses around you. Be grateful for your experiences and the opportunity to grow into the nurse you envision yourself becoming.

I remember in nursing school we had an instructor everyone was terrified of. She was fierce, but so knowledgeable. Myself and a couple of other students butted heads with her because we were so frustrated. We kept our composure. As I was assessing a patient I heard abnormal lung sounds. The patient had Stridor and she was so greatful I came and got her vs. thinking I was a know it all-and just overlooked it. She doesn't hand out recommendation letters easily, but she saw something in me to write me one. The nurse you're describing sounds like a preceptor that allows someone to learn. I can't just watch someone do a procedure and then do it perfectly next. I want a trainer that will accept questions and not get irritated. I often wonder if preceptors get paid more or if they do it out of the kindness of their hearts. It doesn't matter either way, but if my preceptor got paid extra at least it would help her family. I would watch YouTube videos or read my books so I didn't have to ask to many questions to my trainer.

I have asked many nurses how they felt with their first year and you described it. I cried on my way home from work because I felt like I failed-in life again.

I was expected to be able to run a unit within a two week period. I couldn't do it. It was a learning expierience and I have to try somewhere else. You sound like an excellent nurse by the way.

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What are they doing instead of getting to the patient?

On their phones mostly ..... I mean sometimes they will be at their medicine cart, but they won't be in a patients room at all.

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Because I wasn't sure if the comment was useful or not; didn't want to be overbearing. I decided it might be food for thought though.

Learning to not let people get the best of us can be a process sometimes. These experiences you've had can be turned to good if you put your mind to it.

You're definitely not overbearing. At first, you put me in my place and I thought about it. It was constructive cristism that helped. My posts are all over the place, so I appreciate the feedback. It is a lot to process, but looking back my response to what happened was not therapeutic.

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What are they doing instead of getting to the patient?

I would be in a patient ls room well into changing them then have to speed up to finish or stop completely

The nurse's will just calmly be sorting meds and be right next to the residents room. I mean I know you have to pass out meds but is it really worth letting a resident fall -_-

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Oh and correct me if I'm wrong but I sense a tinge of favoritism. between your preceptor, the aide that was pushed, and the aide that sat at the station while the alarm went off. Did your preceptor say anything to the aide at the station? If not her place, did anyone speak to the aide?

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Thank you all SO much for taking the time to reply and give advice/input. I think we all have established I need to learn from it and move on. I am not sure if I would have to start a new thread or if I can even ask this kind of question, but I would really like to know what my fellow nurses would do in this situation

Okay, so I like to open my medications at the bedside. I like to open them one by one and tell them what it is. I was giving medications to one of my patients.(it was my first time taking care of this patient) The last medication I told him, he said verbatim "I didn't know I was taking that medication". I was shocked. I told him I'm not going to give him a medication he didn't feel comfortable taking. My preceptor told him the Prozac was for his stroke to help the healing process. I thought it was great she educated him, and I learned from that. BUT, I told her I was upset he didn't know what medications he was getting. It wasn't an attack on her. She said he has a brain injury so he probably didn't remember. Well, now that I typed that out it doesn't sound so bad. What would you all have done in that situation?

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Thank you all SO much for taking the time to reply and give advice/input. I think we all have established I need to learn from it and move on. I am not sure if I would have to start a new thread or if I can even ask this kind of question, but I would really like to know what my fellow nurses would do in this situation

Okay, so I like to open my medications at the bedside. I like to open them one by one and tell them what it is. I was giving medications to one of my patients.(it was my first time taking care of this patient) The last medication I told him, he said verbatim "I didn't know I was taking that medication". I was shocked. I told him I'm not going to give him a medication he didn't feel comfortable taking. My preceptor told him the Prozac was for his stroke to help the healing process. I thought it was great she educated him, and I learned from that. BUT, I told her I was upset he didn't know what medications he was getting. It wasn't an attack on her. She said he has a brain injury so he probably didn't remember. Well, now that I typed that out it doesn't sound so bad. What would you all have done in that situation?

Lots of patients don't remember what they are taking, so no need to be shocked or upset. You educate him-what the med is for, why he is taking it, etc. If he refuses, you document that and let the physician know.

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Lots of patients don't remember what they are taking, so no need to be shocked or upset. You educate him-what the med is for, why he is taking it, etc. If he refuses, you document that and let the physician know.

Thank you for you're reply. I guess I did over react. I did freak out on the inside, but he was educated and we moved on. I was told to document patients refusal, but not about calling the doctor. I would always call a doctor about a patient refusing medications.

Thanks again for your input :)

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Oh and correct me if I'm wrong but I sense a tinge of favoritism. between your preceptor, the aide that was pushed, and the aide that sat at the station while the alarm went off. Did your preceptor say anything to the aide at the station? If not her place, did anyone speak to the aide?

Yes, you are very correct. The aide at the nursing station is my preceptors best friend. They both say there and did nothing. I'm not a know it all and think I'm better than anyone, but come on, there is no reason not to say "hey stay in the med room, I'll get the patient". Or maybe I'm just expecting to much.

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My communication skills could be better. Do you have an article to recommend that describes what good training vs. ineffective training looks like? I think that's awesome people want to lift each other up, as the patients are happier in that environment as well. I want to make sure the patients I take care of remain safe and cared for.

Yikes! :/ It sounds like you already believe she's inadequate. It's MY belief that that is a recipe for one becoming too big for their britches. Also, I feel like reading a book to validate your negative attitude would be a waste of valuable time when you could spend time practicing flexibility with various personalities. In my experience, (and believe me, this baby chicken is no baby) you will serve yourself more by adapting. This preceptor is giving her time to you and is willing to help further your practice, so such it up buttercup. And furthermore...how do you KNOW she is not double checking her meds. Maybe she has a mental method long developed through years of practice. Let's reserve judgement, at least until you've been on the floor as long as she has.

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Specializes in Palliative, Onc, Med-Surg, Home Hospice.
Thank you all SO much for taking the time to reply and give advice/input. I think we all have established I need to learn from it and move on. I am not sure if I would have to start a new thread or if I can even ask this kind of question, but I would really like to know what my fellow nurses would do in this situation

Okay, so I like to open my medications at the bedside. I like to open them one by one and tell them what it is. I was giving medications to one of my patients.(it was my first time taking care of this patient) The last medication I told him, he said verbatim "I didn't know I was taking that medication". I was shocked. I told him I'm not going to give him a medication he didn't feel comfortable taking. My preceptor told him the Prozac was for his stroke to help the healing process. I thought it was great she educated him, and I learned from that. BUT, I told her I was upset he didn't know what medications he was getting. It wasn't an attack on her. She said he has a brain injury so he probably didn't remember. Well, now that I typed that out it doesn't sound so bad. What would you all have done in that situation?

I have been in hospital and not realized I was taking a med they were giving me. I mean a med I had been on for a very long time. It's amazing what you forget when you are stuck in a bed. Just educate the patient when they state they didn't know they were taking it. And if they refuse, just document the refusal.

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Yikes! :/ It sounds like you already believe she's inadequate. It's MY belief that that is a recipe for one becoming too big for their britches. Also, I feel like reading a book to validate your negative attitude would be a waste of valuable time when you could spend time practicing flexibility with various personalities. In my experience, (and believe me, this baby chicken is no baby) you will serve yourself more by adapting. This preceptor is giving her time to you and is willing to help further your practice, so such it up buttercup. And furthermore...how do you KNOW she is not double checking her meds. Maybe she has a mental method long developed through years of practice. Let's reserve judgement, at least until you've been on the floor as long as she has.

I never said she is inadequate. I fully admitted my communication and attitude towards the situation could have been better. I think it's safe to say it's possible you're assuming I'm a know it all and didn't respect her. Human have emotions and I got to a point it became to much.

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