Is it okay to be emotional?

Pamelita · Jan 16, 2003

girl, its ok to CRY! I cried so many times on my way home or when I am in the bathroom alone at work. Its SO HARD TO CONTROL your emotions. When I started nursing school I was 19 years old not even legal so things seemed so hard to deal with!! now after 2 years of experience I am learning to deal with my emotions day by day. HOw to stay strong and give support to family members, how not to take things personal, etc.

I will encourage you to be a CNA. I did it for 2 years and you learn a lot. Plus it will give you another point of view. When your CNA complains to you, you can say to her, hey I was in your shoes once!!

take care

Pam

researchrabbit · Jan 16, 2003

When I did psych research, I did most of our interviewing. Some of the saddest, most horrendous life histories (especially in the PTSD studies). If the patient cried, I did too, and sometimes even when the patient didn't. Not one patient ever objected or appeared uncomfortable; I think for many it was a validation of their experience.

And usually, if I cried in the interview, I didn't wind up having to debrief or take the pain home with me.

deespoohbear · Jan 16, 2003

Yes, it is okay to cry and show that you are part of the human race. I work in a small hospital and have been witness to some pretty sad things involving my work family and my church family. The past few years have been particularly hard for our hospital. We have lost 2 co-workers to cancer (one a young mother with 3 small children, and the other a long-term employee involved in education at our facility.) Both of these ladies died in our hospital. Very difficult to watch someone who you have worked with for years die in front of you...2 more co-workers this summer were diagnosed with breast cancer....Plus I have been was on duty when my 11 y/o nephew was brought in after being hit by a car...(suffered a fractured leg, but otherwise okay). I have cried with families when their loved one was slipping away...or when they received bad news. Just shows that I am human...if I ever get to the point where I don't feel anything anymore as nurse is the day I turn in my resignation from nursing....hope this helps you....

Now for the second part of the question...our local school systems (3 in our county) have a class called "Health Occupations Education." It is taught by a MSN prepared nurse. The students who are juniors or seniors take this class to see if they may be interested in a health care occupation...they get to shadow various health team care members such as nurses, MD's, CNA's, pharmacists, rad techs, resp techs, and so on to see what their day entails. When they come to our general med-surg floor we usually let them help with some of the tasks such as bathing, feeding, etc. If the students want, they can pursue getting their CNA certification. Several of the nurses I now work with were former HOE students...kind of fun to watch them as they go from 17 y/o kids, to nurses and such....maybe your school has a similar program...

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Jan 16, 2003

The day I don't feel sad when the situation calls for it, is the day I quit nursing for good. There's nothing worse than closing oneself off from feelings. That doesn't necessarily mean losing all control and bawling like a baby, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with showing honest emotion, and believe me, most patients and families never forget it. When my second child passed away shortly after birth 19 years ago, the nurse who cried with me was the one who inspired me to become a nurse myself years later.

I still think of her around the anniversary of my child's birth and death, and whenever I'm tempted to shut down emotionally because I'm feeling wounded and fragile.

Hope this helps.

tattooednursie, LVN · Jan 16, 2003

I'm 17 and I'm a CNA. I took the course through the American Red Cross in the state of California.

I very much enjoy my job. I am a very emotional person. I'm usually the first to burst into tears. Crying shows that a person cares. If some one close to me was dying, I would much rather have a nurse who would cry too, rather than a hard and cold nurse. I think if a person doesnt show emotions, then they need to quit.

Things that I do think are unprofessional is like getting absloutley hysterical, throwing self on the floor, getting hostile about it, or do something freaky like preform a seance (SP) to try to bring them back. HEY! it could happen. But Crying is ok.

sanakruz, ADN · Jan 16, 2003

Eventually you will learn to be proactive rather than reactive.

The feelings stay the same, though

magRN · Jan 16, 2003

My Mom once told me when I was concerned about how emotional I can be and if I should be a nurse...she said to me "When you are no longer able to feel and show emotion you should no longer be in medine esp. as a nurse!" She was right...families aren't upset if you cry when someone dies, but tend to be positively touched by you degree of concern.

As long as the issue of death and the dying is on topic: Never be afraid of helping someone dealing with loss. Treat them as you would want to be treated. If in doubt of what to do or how to help ask the bereaved!

mark_LD_RN · Jan 16, 2003

yes it is fine, i believe being emotional helps one be a better nurse. just remember to save some for your self. i am one of most emotional nurses i know and i seem to do well and my patients surely like it:)

chrn · Jan 16, 2003

Emery and Mandi;

Thank you so much. Your posts give hope for the future of nursing. A lot of people go into nursing for a lot of reasons (it has become a better paying profession with lots of options). There's nothing wrong with that. But to hear from young people who really care about other people...wow.

I agree with other posts- some times you will need to cry but have to put it away because the situation demands your "strength". Sometimes, you will cry like a baby in empathy for other people's losses.

I had to do post-mortem care on a 2 year old who died in an auto accident. Cleaned up lots of blood so her grandma could come see her. The nurse I worked with just got through it, didn't cry (but I knew her to be as caring as anyone). I cried so much I almost couldn't function. Every situation will be different. Don't be afraid of feeling, ever.

Love-A-Nurse · Jan 16, 2003

yes, it is alright to cry. it seems, to me, the tears come at the appropriate time. every wonder why you can "hold" tears back at one moment and they "run" like a river at others?

renerian, BSN, RN · Jan 16, 2003

Shows your human and you identify with someone's heartache.

Hugs,

renerian

Emery · Jan 17, 2003

Thank you so much for all of your replies! Its just that volunteering in a hospital, I see a lot. And I see families who have just lost loved ones and nurses standing there comforting them, but never shedding any tears, at least not in front of them. So I thought that you had to be some kind of unemotional freak or something!! :) I'm kidding. But I'm glad to know that I wouldn't be the only nurse who has ever cried before. Its a real encouragement! Thanks!

And thank you to those of you who have given info on the CNA stuff. Since I'm homeschooled, its kind of hard to know what there is for you out there. I do know that 2 of the schools in the county have some kind of program, but I don't know anything about it. Maybe I should go check that out? Anyway, thanks for all your help!!

~Emery