Interesting blog Describes view from family's eyes

southernbeegirl, BSN, RN · Dec 8, 2009

this is going to sound completely heartless but i am sooo glad i am not having to deal with this family.

dee78 · Dec 8, 2009

Why? Just curious as to why you wouldn't want to be this patient's nurse.

I had a similar blog going on myspace when my twin was in ICU last Nov/Dec. Since his visitors were restricted, it was the easiest way to communicate with the masses. But we probably were one of THOSE families. My older brother is a P.A. in the Army, came back from Iraq just 4 days before my twin's accident. My dad and twin both work at the hospital, 401k advisors. Most of the nurses were great, in fact, because of that experience I'm considering ICU nursing as a specialty. My brother was the WORST patient. I bet those nurses still talk about his antics.

Up2nogood RN, RN · Dec 8, 2009

this is going to sound completely heartless but i am sooo glad i am not having to deal with this family.

What a lack of compassion. I think this is a real problem in nursing, sure nursing is very hard physically and emotionally, overworked and underpaid, but OMG what if this was your family member? When I start feeling whiny and heartless I try and look at things from the patient's and family's perspective and it makes me feel darn thankful for what I have.

I think this is an excellent way for families to communicate about their loved ones and keep everyone updated on their status.

southernbeegirl, BSN, RN · Dec 8, 2009

What a lack of compassion. I think this is a real problem in nursing, sure nursing is very hard physically and emotionally, overworked and underpaid, but OMG what if this was your family member? When I start feeling whiny and heartless I try and look at things from the patient's and family's perspective and it makes me feel darn thankful for what I have.
I think this is an excellent way for families to communicate about their loved ones and keep everyone updated on their status.

well? i TOLD yall it was going to sound horrible!

southernbeegirl, BSN, RN · Dec 8, 2009

Why? Just curious as to why you wouldn't want to be this patient's nurse.
I had a similar blog going on myspace when my twin was in ICU last Nov/Dec. Since his visitors were restricted, it was the easiest way to communicate with the masses. But we probably were one of THOSE families. My older brother is a P.A. in the Army, came back from Iraq just 4 days before my twin's accident. My dad and twin both work at the hospital, 401k advisors. Most of the nurses were great, in fact, because of that experience I'm considering ICU nursing as a specialty. My brother was the WORST patient. I bet those nurses still talk about his antics.

i didnt say i wouldnt want to be the patient's nurse. i said i wouldnt want to deal with this family. big difference.

the patient i could handle standing on my head. i'd love to be able to care for him. but the family?.....

heck, just reading their blog wore me out mentally! they are literally sitting there watching his heartrate and counting how many times it gets to 79 in a day. they are sitting there watching for anything, an eye movement, how many times he coughs, etc.

i admire them greatly and don't begrudge them anything, i just said i wouldnt want to deal with them. they are sitting there monitoring every single thing and although they probably dont reliaze it, they are looking for things that the staff is doing wrong. that is setting the staff up for failure and emotional draining because you can never please people like this.

not saying anything about them personally, mind you. but having worked in SNF rehab for years, i've taken care of people like them numerous times. it is emotionally draining.

i kept reading in one part of the blog how the they were documenting the patient needed shaving and the staff hadnt shaved him. well good lord, get out a razor and shave him then! that would be more helpful than sitting there counting how many times his heartrate goes up and down or how much urine drains out an hour.

before you flame me, i allready know i'm heartless

dee78 · Dec 8, 2009

No flames here, I was just curious.

As a family member, those little movements are everything. We turned 30 when he was in ICU, heavily sedated. I felt him squeeze my hand, I SWEAR I did. It was Thanksgiving Day and that was the best bday present. Then we left the hospital and received a call that they were putting him in an induced coma because he was waking up out of the Haldol and Seroquel in rages, the restraints weren't holding him down enough. It was an emotional rollercoaster. 2 steps forward, 3 steps back. But I clung to those little movements to keep me going.

Schmoo1022 · Dec 8, 2009

I have to say I feel the same way. I would not want to deal with this family. It is not about not caring, but he is one of many patients. I read way back to the beginning of the blog. I see some of the frustration came from them being out of the country at the time of the accident.

Schmoo1022 · Dec 8, 2009

i didnt say i wouldnt want to be the patient's nurse. i said i wouldnt want to deal with this family. big difference.
the patient i could handle standing on my head. i'd love to be able to care for him. but the family?.....
heck, just reading their blog wore me out mentally! they are literally sitting there watching his heartrate and counting how many times it gets to 79 in a day. they are sitting there watching for anything, an eye movement, how many times he coughs, etc.
i admire them greatly and don't begrudge them anything, i just said i wouldnt want to deal with them. they are sitting there monitoring every single thing and although they probably dont reliaze it, they are looking for things that the staff is doing wrong. that is setting the staff up for failure and emotional draining because you can never please people like this.
not saying anything about them personally, mind you. but having worked in SNF rehab for years, i've taken care of people like them numerous times. it is emotionally draining.
i kept reading in one part of the blog how the they were documenting the patient needed shaving and the staff hadnt shaved him. well good lord, get out a razor and shave him then! that would be more helpful than sitting there counting how many times his heartrate goes up and down or how much urine drains out an hour.
before you flame me, i allready know i'm heartless

I am right there with you...but I do understand that the little things mean everything to these familys because they have so little control over the illness

southernbeegirl, BSN, RN · Dec 8, 2009

I am right there with you...but I do understand that the little things mean everything to these familys because they have so little control over the illness

i understand that too. i've even been on the side of being the one sitting by the bed watching for ANY change just to give me hope. and i know the nurses that cared for my husband then wished i'd go home too, lol. they arent doing anything wrong, i just know those cases are exhausting in every way and i wish they'd be in someone else's facility

Ayvah, RN · Dec 8, 2009

I think this is great, its a way to coordinate and disseminate the information to family and friends. I would much rather have this happen from the family of my patient than have multiple different family members call me daily for information that they could get from each other! Behavior like that takes precious nursing time away from the bedside. I would take the blog any day.

The minutia that they are focusing on in the blog is them looking for any signs of hope, any sign of "progress" to cling to. This is a young healthy guy that suddenly had a major MVA and they are trying to cope.

On another note, I see in the blog that they mentioned the news story about https://allnurses.com/nursing-news/man-vegetative-state-440604.html and its frustrating that probably false hope is being given from a story that's debatable itself.

VICEDRN, BSN, RN · Dec 8, 2009

I am a student in these parts but this reminds of one of the topics they really try and hit home to the students in my program: I have read a couple of posts on their blog and it really seems that there is a clear lack of communication about discharge planning and what the patient's eventual status will be.

I think this family would be better served if they understood what the PLAN for this patient is.

If I look at the mucus issue, for example, I wonder if the family is really seeing the potential for this being something that is part of his condition, possibly from lack of movement. You know what I mean? (and hey, let's go easy on the student, guys!)