I wanted to explain what happened to me...

[LoriAlabamaRN]

Hey everyone...

I want to thank everyone for the prayers. I'm sorry I haven't been able to explain why I needed them and what I meant by saying I was in trouble, but I have recovered enough mentally to explain my last eight days of pure hell...

I work 11p-7a as the supervisor of a nursing home. Last Sunday night I worked. Monday morning after work I went to visit my grandmother in Georgia, not intending to be gone all day. She has been diagnosed with a brain tumor and has decided to refuse any treatment- she wants to let it take her course and rejoin my grandfather who died three years ago. This is devastating to me because I am very close with her. I ended up being with her all day and getting home around 9pm. I had to be at work at 11, so I decided not to sleep since it would make me more groggy to get less than an hour of sleep than it would if I just stayed up. Despite my best efforts, I fell asleep around 9:30 and when my alarm went off at 10 I was in bad shape- disoriented and nauseous. I decided to take an ephedrine tablet and set the alarm ahead 20 minutes so that when it went off the ephedrine would be in my system. I hardly ever take it but when I do I take an Atenolol with it because it makes my BP go up and my heart race. The Atenolol was prescribed to me a year ago, but since losing almost 100 pounds my BP has been normal and I haven't had to take it regularly. Anyhow, when the alarm went off again I was still really nauseous and tired but I got ready and went to work. I felt weird- sort of detached and sluggish but I figured it was because of lack of sleep. I'd gone without sleep before so I thought I'd be fine.

At about 3am, however, my DON showed up. I was surprised to see her, but she told me she just had paperwork to do. It seemed like she was observing me though, and soon the truth came out- someone had called her at home, woken her up and stated that I seemed impaired. After watching me, she declared probable cause and accused me of being on drugs. I was shocked and scared and denied it- I have prescription narcotics for my back ( i broke it 7 years ago and am trying to avoid surgery for as long and possible) but I never take them within 12 hours of work- never. I was made to feel like a criminal. I was brought to the local hospital and had to pee in a cup, crying all the while. I knew I felt odd and detached but all I could think was that maybe someone slipped me something. After the UA, she refused to believe me, took my keys from me and I was sent home in disgrace.

Three days later I found the bottle of Atenolol in a totally different location than i thought. Apparently I took an Ambien instead.

Once I figured this out, I tried to explain it to her, but since the drug test had already been sent out I still couldn't work until the results came in. It took eight days instead of three because of the positive for opiates resulting in a differentiating test. The only thing that showed up (of course) is one of my prescription narcotics (Lortab). The lady from the drug testing center called me this morning and I had to bring over my prescription bottle to confirm it. Then I had to get a letter from my doc stating that I had been his patient for four years and was still on the same strength meds and had been very responsible with my pain meds. I expect a call in the morning to go in for a meeting with my DON when she gets the report.

Here's the kicker- everyone at work apaprently thinks I was caught stealing drugs, high at work, or drunk on the job. The worst part is that I think I am going to be fired anyway, regardless of the negative drug screen for anything except what was prescribed to me.

I love my job, and i love being a nurse. I've worked at my job for over a year, with exemplary performance evaluations and reviews. I don't understand why I am being treated this way. I'm still scared about possibly losing my job, but at least I know that I will not lose my nursing license. Before I realized about the Ambien, I honestly was scared that someone had slipped me something and then called my DON so I would be tested. As a supervisor you always end up with certain enemies, people you have had to write up because of legitimate concerns who hold it against you. I was terrified because I did feel odd and if someone had slipped me something and I tested positive, I would have lost my license.

I really don't want to lose my job, I love it so much. I hate that my coworkers all are assuming the worst of me. I didn't intentionally do anything wrong. I've lost seven pounds since this happened and have not been sleeping. I've cried constantly. I'm a wreck.

I'm sorry this is so long... I just wanted to thank everyone for the support as well as warn you of what could happen... please keep me in your prayers and I will let you know if I am fired tomorrow or not...

I love you guys...

Lori

[Sheri257]

BUT, she doesn't have a drug problem if she takes her meds AS PRESCRIBED. right?

Not necessarily ...

I'm really not commenting on or judging Lori specifically because I do feel for her situation. But if some people are skeptical about prescribed meds in general ... I don't necessarily blame them for that either.

Just because someone has a prescription, it doesn't mean they're not an addict. Look at Rush Limbaugh ... he had precriptions for all of it.

We give prescribed meds to drug addicts all the time ... does that mean they're not drug addicts if they take prescribed meds?

We've all seen addicts who know how to play the system and get their drugs. They know exactly what symptoms they have to complain about to get their morphine, or whatever.

The fact is ... it's very easy to get these prescriptions if you're an addict. Maybe this causes some RN's to wrongly judge people to the other extreme and, this is unfortunate. But we can't ignore the fact there's also a lot of abuse going on with prescribed meds that can prompt skepticism that isn't always unjustified.

I have a friend who's become addicted to pain killers because it was so easy for her to get those prescriptions. All I'm saying is that a prescription, in and of itself ... doesn't always mean you don't have a drug problem.

:typing

[CseMgr1, ASN, RN]

Thank you to all who have come to my defense. I honestly am not a drug addict, I am someone who has a chronic back injury and cannot sleep without narcotics to control the pain. I take a third what I could, and all because of my own views and worries about what could happen. I've taken the same strength for four years now, so I doubt it could ever mess up my mind.\

Thank you Amygooch for your suggestions, I have printed and saved them and will be putting many of them to use. Financially I am sick to my stomach with fear.

I understand the comments I got regarding title loan. I will only use that as an absolute last resort. Thank you for enlightening me.

Thank you also to all those who have faith in my nursing abilities. I did feel as if I had no choice but to go in, we currently have a hospice patient who requires an RN be in the building at all times, so if I had called in it would have resulted in my DON having to come in at the last minute for the whole shift... I just couldn't do that. I didn't know Ihad taken the Ambien, i thought I was just working on no sleep like so many of us here have selflessly done.

I thank you so much for your support... and I am still here... I never expected so much interest and support and it has raised my spirits immeasurably...I plan to go to Goodwill in the morning to look for some sort of passable outfit to wear to this interview...

God bless you, Lori. As usual, it is unselfish people like you who wind up being stereotyped and punished due to the abuses of others. Like you, I am not afraid to admit that I have been under the care of a Pain Management Specialist for the past three years for the treatment of severe degenerative disc disease. This treatment has included not only prescriptions for Xanaflex, NSAIDS and Hyrdocodone, but also a total of 7 ESI's. I am taking half of the prescribed doseage of Hydrocodone, which enables me not only to sleep, but also to get out of bed in the morning. My family has encouraged me to apply for permanent disability, but rather than have to be put through this bureaucratic nightmare, I want to remain productive for as long as possible. What hurts the most is that I am no longer able to play with my three grandchildren. The last time I carried one of them up the stairs or got down with them on the floor, I wound up in bed for two days in excrutiating pain and muscle spasms. It's hell having to exist like this, and for people like us to be labeled as drug addicts is not only unfair, it is

cruel.

Good luck on your interview tomorrow. We will all be cheering for you!

Pam

[rehab nurse]

Not necessarily ...

I'm really not commenting on or judging Lori specifically because I do feel for her situation. But if some people are skeptical about prescribed meds in general ... I don't necessarily blame them for that either.

Just because someone has a prescription, it doesn't mean they're not an addict. Look at Rush Limbaugh ... he had precriptions for all of it.

We give prescribed meds to drug addicts all the time ... does that mean they're not drug addicts if they take prescribed meds?

We've all seen addicts who know how to play the system and get their drugs. They know exactly what symptoms they have to complain about to get their morphine, or whatever.

The fact is ... it's very easy to get these prescriptions if you're an addict. Maybe this causes some RN's to wrongly judge people to the other extreme and, this is unfortunate. But we can't ignore the fact there's also a lot of abuse going on with prescribed meds that can prompt skepticism that isn't always unjustified.

I have a friend who's become addicted to pain killers because it was so easy for her to get those prescriptions. All I'm saying is that a prescription, in and of itself ... doesn't always mean you don't have a drug problem.

:typing

Lizz, I think maybe I didn't make myself clear. Happens.

What I was getting at is this. People who take their medications as originally prescribed have less than a 1% rate of "becoming addicted". I have the literature link somewhere, and I will post it when I find it. It's also the opinion of my PM doc.

However, most nurses probably know that just because someone has a "prescription" doesn't mean they're NOT an addict. addiction is the compulsive taking of a medication over the amount that is prescribed, regardless of the effect on their life (personal, financial, professional, whatever). people who are addicts will get multiple scripts for the same med, steal the med, buy it off the street illegally, etc...whatever it takes to get what they want.

ON the other hand, people who take narcotics on a reg basis (like me) have to usually sign a contract. my rx records are pulled (and my state shows every pharmacy) to check for double scripting, i am subject to drug tests , my pills are counted, i must go to ONE pharmacy for all my pain meds, etc. If you are found to be taking excess, or ever got more than one script, you will be kicked out of the practice and put on a clonidine taper and you will more than likely have a very diff time ever getting another pm specialist to touch you. I also know that I have been offered scripts from other docs (neuro for one for my migraines...) but i denied it. So I am sure that other people who present to ER, other docs, whatever will be offered more pain pills...especially if it's for a different condition than what the original narcotics are for. I am not stupid enough to think that people (if they are not able to control their intake of pain meds) can't go to ER, or to a different doc and get more pills. I'm sure it happens every day. Hence, your point that just because someone has "a prescription" doesn't mean they're not an addict.

what i was referring to was this: assuming lori (or anyone else) had legit scripts, and she didn't get more illegally (or got the same script from another doc, or another er, which is considered doctor shopping...but it happens all the time) then more than likely she is NOT an addict, because she does not take more of the med than what's prescribed (she said she takes about a third of what's rx'd).

i didn't mean to say that there are NOT any addicts out there, nor did i mean to imply that people with scripts are not prone to addiction. what i was told, and what i read in literature, is that the rate of addiction for taking meds PROPERLY is very, very low (but that doesn't mean it can't happen!).

i was more than anything, trying to support Lori.

I hope I made myself a bit clearer. I understand your point Lizz, and I hope everyone understands mine as well.

[Mulan]

Some people are getting jumped all over.

They may not be referring to the lortab but the ephedrine and the atenolol. A prescription is only good for a year, and taking medication that was prescribed a year ago that you haven't needed to take (except when you take a stimulant like ephedrine) is considered to be self medication.

[Multicollinearity, BSN, RN]

To those criticizing the OP:

Funny how there is so much focus on the OP's choice of meds on ONE unusual and difficult evening. I find little talk about a work environment that is so exploitative and callous as to set one up to consider taking a stimulant and working on zero sleep. No talk about why professional adults are treated like cattle or why they are abused into working while ill. No talk about the threats implicit and implied about calling out right before shift. There is precious little consideration for taking care of one's self in this profession.

I think some can't see the forest for the trees here. To imply drug abuse or question why the OP self-medicated on one severe evening rather than question why professionals are treated like robot children with no grace - that is despicable to me.

[ktwlpn, LPN]

Some people are getting jumped all over.

They may not be referring to the lortab but the ephedrine and the atenolol. A prescription is only good for a year, and taking medication that was prescribed a year ago that you haven't needed to take (except when you take a stimulant like ephedrine) is considered to be self medication.

And I've worked with many,many nurses over the years that did so-are they then considered to be addicts? I also know many that have helped themselves to their patient's supplies (stealing) Lasix (I'm so bloated this month) Colace (O-I had mac an cheese yesterday-I'm so contipated) and even nurses that helped themselves to left over anti-biotics and saved them up for their next sinus infection.WHY WON'T WE CARE FOR OURSELVES THEY WAY WE CARE FOR OUR PATIENTS? DON'T WE DESERVE IT? Call the heck OFF when you need to-go to your doctor when you need to and follow his/her recommendations.Nurses really do make the worst patients...And I'm not excluding myself either.I HATE to be at the mercy of the medical establishment and used to aviod "doctoring" at all costs -but I'm getting better (I used to cut my own bangs,too--thankfully I finally dropped that bad habit-too many "Ooops-what will I do now" moments)

[Mulan]

This is a message board, not real life. No one "knows" any one else, and no one knows the real story, only what one is told. There are three sides to every story, my side, your side, and what really happened.

[weirdRN, RN]

I have worked when sick, had little and no sleep and lived to regret it.

My DON once told me, "You take tylenol and keep going." She was evil about it. I think that mostly comes from the whole shortage thing.

If floor nurses call off, then the management/salaried employees have to take up the slack b/c the PRN list is so short.

[firstyearstudent]

'

Just a note, there is a FEDERAL law against recording people without their acknowledgement, punishable by FEDERAL PRISON time. So, be careful!! But, there is nothing against having a friend call and ask and you listening on the other line. Good luck.

I'm not sure this is true. I think it varies state by state. I think the federal law is that both parties cannot know they are being listened to (wiretapping). If one party knows, it may okay in some states. But I'm not a lawyer (just a former journalist). I know for instance, that it New York state it is fine for one party to record a call without the other party's consent. What you can't record is a call in which you are not partipating in at all.

http://www.rcfp.org/taping/

[RebeccaJeanRN]

Some people are getting jumped all over...

Well...you can say THAT again! I got jumped all over way up above, and even was quoted for using words (ie. "drug addict") that I NEVER said in my post, as well as being attributed sentiments that I never expressed or would have (like someone should have to work in pain without their pain medication).

I have to say, its the fear of getting 'flamed' (a word I only just learned today from my daughter when I showed her these posts), that makes me think twice (three, four, five times?) about voicing a minority opinion on this site. I thought I had voiced my genuine concern and differing opinion in the most tactful way I could, but even then I got a really angry response, not from the OP but from another member. Geesh...

-

[Mulan]

And I've worked with many,many nurses over the years that did so-are they then considered to be addicts? I also know many that have helped themselves to their patient's supplies (stealing) Lasix (I'm so bloated this month) Colace (O-I had mac an cheese yesterday-I'm so contipated) and even nurses that helped themselves to left over anti-biotics and saved them up for their next sinus infection.WHY WON'T WE CARE FOR OURSELVES THEY WAY WE CARE FOR OUR PATIENTS? DON'T WE DESERVE IT? Call the heck OFF when you need to-go to your doctor when you need to and follow his/her recommendations.Nurses really do make the worst patients...And I'm not excluding myself either.I HATE to be at the mercy of the medical establishment and used to aviod "doctoring" at all costs -but I'm getting better (I used to cut my own bangs,too--thankfully I finally dropped that bad habit-too many "Ooops-what will I do now" moments)

Did I use the word "addict"?

[Multicollinearity, BSN, RN]

Well...you can say THAT again! I got jumped all over way up above, and even was quoted for using words (ie. "drug addict") that I NEVER said in my post, as well as being attributed sentiments that I never expressed or would have (like someone should have to work in pain without their pain medication).

I have to say, its the fear of getting 'flamed' (a word I only just learned today from my daughter when I showed her these posts), that makes me think twice (three, four, five times?) about voicing a minority opinion on this site. I thought I had voiced my genuine concern and differing opinion in the most tactful way I could, but even then I got a really angry response, not from the OP but from another member. Geesh...

-

I don't think you've been 'flamed'. I think many have disagreed with you, some strongly. There have not been any personal attacks. There is a difference.