I should have said something...

PANurseRN1 · Dec 21, 2006

To be fair, I think you misunderstood canoehead's statement. He/she wasn't calling anyone a "drunk." Rather saying that they were drunk, as in the state of being drunk. Nothing inappropriate about that. If someone's intoxicated, they are infact drunk.

Exactly.

I'm not sure what the OP wanted by posting this, since posts that disagree with her POV are deemed offensive. If you post a question asking for opinions, you're going to get a variety of them. If you don't want to hear some potentially negative feedback regarding your actions, then the next time preface the post with "Only comments that support my opinion wanted."

OP: some of the posters were trying to impress upon you that new or not, you need to speak up. I'm not sure I understand the "I didn't have time to think" rationale, since you seemed to take in a great deal of what was going on in such a short period of time, never mind give a detailed list of the other nurse's history of inappropriate reactions. That was certainly enough to have gone to management weeks ago, when this first happened.

It's interesting that a few months ago, when the OP was still a student, she was lecturing nurses who used "therapeutic lying" in dealing with dementia pts. Now she's witnessed an inappropriate action by another nurse but said nothing and now wants support.

Noryn · Dec 21, 2006

The "you are just as guilty" always make me laugh a bit. That really isnt accurate. You arent actually abusing the pt and in the judicial system if you see a crime and dont report it, you usually dont get tried for that crime However the point is, you can be charged with a lesser crime and not reporting abuse/neglect is a serious charge in itself.

So to the original poster, you arent guilty of abuse and you are going through what all new grads go through. Your nursing instructors are typically ideal role models and in school you are in a perfect world, that ends with graduation. There are just so many grey areas you have to deal with.

You obviously have a conscience and know something is wrong, hence the post on the board. You just need to act on it. I would report it to my nurse manager. It is the right thing to do, and you have that duty to protect your patients. Also if it was ever reported and you did not speak up, then you can get into quite a bit of trouble as well.

Being a new grad, is hard. There is so much to learn and again there are so many situations that dont have an easy answer. Just always treat your patients like you would want your family members treated. Also you need to forget the idea (that we are all born with) that you only get in trouble if you do something wrong. Sometimes you get in trouble for doing the right thing but in the end you can sleep at night and have respect for yourself! Good luck!

chadash · Dec 21, 2006

Sometimes in the moment, you are so shocked that someone would do such a thing, you are tongue tied.

But the person who did these things either needs anger management, or a major attitude adjustment. If they did this, what else have they done?

Funny thing, I had a fellow employee slap my hand recently. Odd.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Dec 21, 2006

I understand. It takes practice and courage. I don't like confrontation and when I do I stammer and get nervous. However, it's an important thing to do and learn. Because going to management does no good. Sometimes it's good to wait and catch your breath and not confront at the time, other times you need to nip it in the bud then and there.

Don't beat yourself up.

rn/writer, RN · Dec 21, 2006

To the OP: Thanks for having the courage to share your dilemma. Please don't let over-zealous criticism discourage you.

For a handful of people, confrontation comes easily. Perhaps too easily in a few cases. For the rest of us, it's a skill that is learned out of necessity and honed with much (and sometimes painful) practice.

One of the best ways to handle a situation like this is to draw YOUR boundaries. You can't control the other person, nor can you grow them a conscience. What you can do is take that person aside and state your limits. "I'm very uncomfortable with ________. If I ever see such a thing again, I'll have to report it. Please don't put either of us in that kind of position."

This might seem like too soft an approach--and certain things would require an immediate response--but it serves a purpose. It puts this nurse (and anyone she complains to) on notice that you DO have standards and you won't be pushed around simply because you're newer.

It also gives you a chance to grow into assertiveness. And it feels a lot less like tattling.

You'll have to be the judge of whether it's too late to address this incident. It may not be if you simply state that you were put on the spot and you don't like it.

The thing is that you usually get farther by stating your own personal boundaries than by trying to argue right and wrong. You aren't judging, just stating what you are and are not willing to tolerate.

What you can take away from this incident is a determination to learn to speak assertively and acquire confidence through practice. Google assertiveness and learn some of the phrases to avoid and some to latch onto for future reference. Practice in other areas--the grocery store, the dentist's office, with family and friends. When you are assertive, you are basically telling what you think, feel, and need without attacking anyone else. This is an essential life skill no matter where you work, but nursing will give you many opportunities you might not otherwise see.

BTW, this skill transfers well to working with docs.

I commend you for your honesty, your concern for your patients, and your determination to grow as a nurse.

GardenDove · Dec 21, 2006

Thanks, GardenDove, I needed a chuckle.:chuckle

Why, you're very welcome! :beer: :cheers: :beercuphe:

P_RN, ADN, RN · Dec 21, 2006

Jesska, I want you to repeat this to yourself until it comes as easily as breathing out and breathing in:

DO NOT HIT MY PATIENT.

If you'd like you may increase the volume so the hall-lurkers can hear. Do not defend yourself verbally to the offender. Say:

DO NOT HIT MY PATIENT.

Jesskanurse · Dec 21, 2006

She wasn't referring to the pt as a drunk aka skid row bum, wino, pick your alcohol related adjective. She said 'a drunk and uncooperative pt' which from the OP, was true. If I go out tomorrow night, get hammered on margaritas, pick a fight and wind up in the ER in 4-points, darn tooting I'm being drunk and uncooperative. That's completely different from the disrespectful reference to the homeless guy at the bus stop "oh him, he's just a drunk". There's definately a difference
Noooooooo. My patient was not A) A 'drunk' or B) Drunk as in intoxicated. He was going through ETOH WITHDRAWAL. This is not a state of being intoxicated. This means he hasn't had a drink which is causing him to go into withdrawal. Please people lets read what I originally wrote. Please.

P_RN, ADN, RN · Dec 21, 2006

Jesska I fear it is you who are not listening. We understand that your patient was in withdrawal. That was not your query. You said you should have DONE something.

We have given you our opinions. The physical state of your patient was secondary. Should you have said something? Yes. Will you say something next time, I hope you do. Meanwhile concentrate on your question.

nursejohio, ASN, RN · Dec 22, 2006

oops, i guess i overlooked that part. sorry.