I need advice and help, PLEASE.....

  1. Hi,

    I am new to this board and I signed on to get some help! I hope I don't come off sounding dumb to all of you here...

    Since I was young I have been taking care of my Mother, she has Rheumotid Arthritis and later developed into Osteroporsis.. She is totally unable to do anything for herself, can't sit up etc. I take full care of her, since my Dad works... I'm 25 yrs old now and I had to drop out my senior yr of high school because my Dad had a bypass surgery and no one else could take care of my Mother while I was at school... Two yrs back I took my GED and passed it as well..

    Now, I want to become a nurse so I can help other people as well... Right now, I am still taking care of my Mother but I think of the future I was hoping if anyone could give me info about what do I need to do to become a nurse, like what kind of classes I don't have a clue how to go about this, I hope I am not sounding dumb to all of you! Bu tmy whole life revolved around my Mother, she is in constant pain and seems to get weaker as each day passes by! Is there any way for me to be able to this online, a nursing course... Can you help me or suiggest something for me to have in the future... I'd really appreciate your help, views and opinions. And I hope I didn't bother anybody with my questions!

    Thank You,
    Last edit by Priya on Sep 4, '02
  2. Visit Priya profile page

    About Priya

    Joined: Sep '02; Posts: 2


  3. by   Neon8
    You are in an extremely unfair situation. You should speak with your father about your dreams of being a nurse one day. I don't know about the financial situation, or if there is medical insurance, but an alternate part-time person to care for your mother should be emplyed while you attend classes. If your insurance doesn't cover a home health nurse, you could advertise at the local university or community college to hire a student nurse who would appreciate having such experience on their resume. You have a GED so enrolling at a community college shouldn't be a problen. Just go in and speak with a counselor to find out what to do as far as classes go. Or purchase a couse catologue at the college bookstore to find out how to begin.
    You have the right to a future, and once you begin to take steps in securing one, what once seemed to be insurmountable problems, will drop away one by one. There are a lot of helpful people out there. Good Luck
  4. by   colleen10
    Hi Priya,

    Welcome to the board. It is nice to meet you.

    I am 27 and going back to school a second time to get my ASN in nursing. I am currently working full time and going to school in the evenings part time. So, I have recently looked up all kinds of ways to go back to school and would be happy to offer any advice that I can.

    You sound very determined and that is half the battle. I think that the first thing you should do is start calling around to various universities, colleges, and hospitals in your area to see what type of programs they offer. You could get a 4 year BSN (Bachelors Degree) or a 2 year ASN/ADN (Associates Degree) through a university or community college or some of the hospitals in your area may have their own nursing school programs. Start doing searches on the internet for schools where you live and open up the phone book and just start getting some information and contact names.

    You should definately contact a nursing advisor at any school you would consider going to. There are a lot of options out there as far as going to school days, evenings, full time, part time, etc. and an advisor would be more than happy to explain to you how their program can work for you.

    I also invite you to come hang out at the student nurses section. I'm sure you will learn a lot just by reviewing questions and posts and feel free to ask your own. There are no dumb questions and all this nursing stuff can get pretty confusing in the beginning so feel free to ask about anything you are unsure of.

    You will also see that there are a lot of us out there who are going to school and working, raising kids, taking care of family, etc. all at the same time, so you are not alone.

    Also, you asked about internet courses and there are a lot of universities and colleges that offer pre and co requisete courses over the internet. So, depending on your area and school you may be able to take a few classes over the internet.

    Take care and feel free to Private Message me if you want.

  5. by   BadBird
    If there is a community college near you, go and talk to a advisor, that person will tell you how to get started, what classes you need. You might be able to start now by taking a prerequisite class (such as English or math etc.) Many of those classes are offered in the evening, mabey you could work out a schedule with your father.

    The other issue is your overwhelming responsibility of total care of your mother, you need to discuss this with your father. I don't think this is fair to you, Many insurances pay for respite care where someone will come and stay with your mom so you could take a class. Please talk to someone, other family members so you get to go on with your life. Another option may be hospice care, my own mother was in hospice and they were wonderful, at least your poor mom wouldn't be in pain anymore. Good luck and God bless you, you already are a wonderful nurse.
  6. by   Neon8
    I would also like to add that financial aid from the government is available. It is not hard to qualify. You can get your tuition paid for plus receive spending money. If you choose to attend a community college, you can have all the fees waived. If you choose a four year university, the gov will pay your tuition, provide spending money, and you will be offered low interest student loans that don't begin to accrue interest until 6 months after you graduate. Go to
  7. by   Priya

    I am just overwhelmed with all your responses and advice to my problem... I like to thank everyone for your suggestions and kindness... My Dad isn't too healthy himself see, he works part time and he is the only one working! And the biggest problem with my Mom is she's totally dependent on me... In the beginning it wasn't this bad, but the last few years it got tougher with her meds being narcotics and she has hallucinations. REcently the doctors took her off narcotic medication and she is on regular pain killers... I do have the aim, but honestly it is difficult. But your advice is making me think about it more and to try to find out more and I am more determined... I will keep on the boards so I can find out more and thanks alot for all of your help...
  8. by   NRSKarenRN
    Welcome Priya!

    Your Mother is eligable for attendant care (SEE BELOW) services if age 21-65; if over 65, eligable for services thru Office of Aging based on permanant disability. Many states have lottery funds or medical assistance monies that pay for these programs: Some have sliding scale fees--- all based on income. Please inquire about these services in your area.

    What Is Attendant Care?
    Attendant Care is any action to assist a person with a disability in accomplishing activities of daily living. These cover a broad spectrum of activities including bathing, dressing, feeding, toileting, transferring, mobility, cooking, cleaning, laundering, dispensing of routine medications and similar tasks. Primarily, these are tasks that the individual is unable to physically perform or has a great deal of difficulty doing.

    Attendant Care is also known as personal care assistance, personal assistance services or home health care.

    How Does It Differ From Nursing Care?
    The tasks performed by an attendant are typically non-medical in nature and do not require medically trained personnel to carry out. Though the provision of these services are essential to the well-being and health of the individual with a disability, they can typically be performed by a lay person who has received appropriate training.

    Who Utilizes Attendant Care?
    People who need attendant care are a heterogeneous group. They range in age from infants to senior citizens. Their disabilities range from respirator dependent quadriplegics to ambulatory individuals with multiple sclerosis. Their common characteristics are that each has a permanent or temporary disability that prevents them from independently accomplishing their needed activities of daily living in their home environment. Many individuals with spinal cord disabilities require attendant care in order for them to prepare to go to work each day.

    Why Utilize Attendant Care?
    Attendant care is a COST EFFECTIVE way for people with disabilities to receive needed assistance to accomplish daily living tasks that allow them to live independently in the community. The provision of care often prevents institutionalization of individuals who are then able to fulfill functional roles in society. Attendant Care also reduces the physical, emotional and financial drain on family members of the individual with a disability, often preventing injury, dissolution of the family unit and allowing parents and/or spouse to return to work (decreasing need for public assistance).

    Goal: KEEP PEOPLE OUT OF NURSING HOMES as homecare usually the best!

    You can type the words "Attendant Care" plus what state you live in to find out phone # for local services. OR look in Blue pages of phone book under "older adults/Senior citizens for Office of aging program.

    Web site for good info:

    State by state locator for Senior services:

    Eldercare Locator - (800) 677-1116 - to find local services for older Americans
    Last edit by NRSKarenRN on Sep 5, '02
  9. by   adrienurse
    Karen has said that better then I ever could. Once your parents are in good hands, you can begin investing in yourself. Congradulations Priya on your drive and determination. I'm sure you'll make a great nurse. There are many ways of working your way towards nursing school. Make suer you talk to that nursing student advisor first -- so that there are no surprizes. One thing you may need to do is to make sure yo have your high school science and math requirements taken care of. I don't know about every nursing program, but I think most require this alongside your GED. You might be able to get that taken care of at the college. Next, most people start working on their nursing prerequisites. These are the courses needed in the nursing program that are not actual nursing courses. Anatomy & Physiology and Microbiology are some of them. Taking these courses are a great way to assure yourself that you are ready to commit yourself to nursing studies.

    Good luck and don't be afraid to drop us a line if you have any more questions!
  10. by   dv06674
    Dear Priya -no you don't sound dumb at all. The first step is to find schools in your area that offer nursing -full time or part time. When you decide on a school find out what you need to get into the school. You might need transcripts from other schools or fill out applications. depending on your financial situation, try and go to a city school because its a lot cheaper. The hardest part is getting started, but once you have been accepted its smooth sailing. i hope this helped you-goog luck and may your family be well.
    sincerely debbie
  11. by   JonRN
    Welcome to the board Priya. Nobody here will think you are dumb, we have all been through the beginning process of becoming nurses. You are to be commended for placing you family's needs ahead of your own for such a long period, this is very rare in today's society. But, at age 25 it is time you devoted a little of your time to yourself. Everyone here has given you some good advice on how to procure care for your Mom, which should allow you some time to pursue your goal of becoming a nurse.

    With the shortage as acute as it is, you may be able to find a hospital in the area that will pick up the tab for everything if you sign a contract agreeing to work for them for a certain period upon graduation. I wish you all the best, and if there is anything I can do to help you, PM me on this board, or send me an email at the address in my profile.

  12. by   P_RN
    Have you looked into social security disability for your mother? She is indeed disabled.
  13. by   Agnus
    How could you possible feel that you might be bothering anyone. You sound like someone with huge heart and a strong sense of responsibility toward others. Exactly the type of person who is needed in our profession.

    I admire you for what you are doing and have accomplished so far. Few people would do as you have. In spite of leaving HS you completed your GED, you have taken full adult responsibility for your mother. What maturity and what love you must have. AND you have not lost sight of your future! What a postive person you are.

    I agree with the other posters, contact a local community college. Now, you asked about courses on line. Though you will not beable to get your nursing degree on line there are some classes you can take that you will eventually need. Like, English, math, sociology, psychology. Check with your local college they may even offer these on line or offer home study for some of these. Another option that may be available from the local college is courses offered on local cable TV. (I took my nutrition class that way and only had to go on campus for exams. )

    Find out what they require then you can go on line and find these same classes availabe from other schools that you can take by computer or correspondence. If you are interested in something in particular please, PM me and I will show you how to find a correspondence course from an accredited college.

    Like I said the Nursing classes won't, for the most part, be available to you this way. However, many of your other classes will.

    Depending on the school you go to you may be able to challenge some nursing classes. Find out what you must do to challenge. There are things called CLEP Exams and there are Excelsior College Exams that can be used to challenge at some schools. I can help you find the material that you need to study for these if your school will accept any of these.

    I have no doubt you will succeed. You are already skilled at meeting severe challenges.
  14. by   Love-A-Nurse
    how could you possible feel that you might be bothering anyone. you sound like someone with huge heart and a strong sense of responsibility toward others. exactly the type of person who is needed in our profession.

    i admire you for what you are doing and have accomplished so far. few people would do as you have. in spite of leaving hs you completed your ged, you have taken full adult responsibility for your mother. what maturity and what love you must have. and you have not lost sight of your future! what a postive person you are. "

    hello and welcome to the board, priya! i agree with angus and by the way, well said, angus.

    you could also seek assistance for finance, for schooling, through the unemployment office for your age group or they may assist you to other available resourses.

    :kiss and all the best to you and your family.