I don't think I can do this anymore...

Nurses General Nursing

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:o I don't think I can be a nurse anymore. I am tired, tired, tired of all the B__S__. I did hospice work for 6 years, then took a short break to help take care of my sister who was diagnosed with breast ca. Went back to work, but tried home health. I'm just so weary and tired of having to cater to people - patients and families. It doesn't seem I can just "be a nurse". I'm tired peoples' demands ("No, you can't come at 9:00. I don't like getting up early" no, you can't come because I have to take the dog to the groomers" to "you have to check my 02 sats" even though I don't have an order, and pt is asymptomatic. Or, being unable to schedule a visit because the patient is driving his wife to the airport (!!!) yet I'm told I still have to see him for blood work. I tell the office about these folks, and I'm told to see them anyway. Or, how about telling a patient the truth, even if the agency doesn't like it. (yes, Mrs. Jones the wound on your leg is horrible and getting worse daily, but don't ask my opinion about seeing a different doctor for a second opinion because doctor #1 won't like it and will complain about me. BTW - lady ended up in the hospital for it) And, one pt I saw this week - who has early stage dementia - had a gun in a holster on him with his wife sitting 2 chairs down from me. I didn't see it until I went to check his lungs. The wife? she told me that she was glad she gave him his medicine to "calm him down" earlier. I can also honestly say I have never met a group of people who felt so entitled in my life! People are sick - I understand that - but the ones who are truly sick are the least demanding. And the families...yikes. I can't take it anymore. I am giving my notice tomorrow, even without another job to go to. I need to clear my brain and do some soul-searching before I pursue anything else.

This makes me sad, though. I went in to nursing with such high hopes and good intentions, and look what happened :sniff:

mc3

It sounds very rough and I feel for you. Maybe you could work in a Peds office or maybe go back to school to be a Nurse Educator(at least there no one can really out you for anything because the nursing students don't know any better) Good luck in finding you and what you want to do.

eriksoln, BSN, RN

2,636 Posts

Specializes in M/S, Travel Nursing, Pulmonary.

I know what you mean. Seems the poor economy not only has reduced census, but the people who are still coming to the hospital are the types who..........oh, how to put it: Can't have it any way but their way, but somehow when their way doesn't work, its your fault/problem.

I notice this sort of stuff a lot on my M/S floor. Recently a diabetic lady who was having breathing problems called out the dogs on the hospital/unit management because she felt she should have been "fixed" already and on her way home. Never mind she refuses PT/OT, does not adhere to her prescribed diet (blood sugars out of control the whole admit), takes her oxygen off because it "makes too much noise and I can't hear the television" and she, for the most part......lies in bed all day doing nothing, laying flat and sleeping all day long. She's been told to be more active, stay up in the chair etc...., but she doesn't like that so she does her own thing. Now that she is not getting better, its everyone elses fault.

People want to be made better, like there is some magical switch we have that will do that without them having to participate in their health. They keep putting off things, ignoring good advice and making everything else a higher priority. Then cause/effect takes over and somehow its everyone elses fault.

If the economy were a little better I'd be outta nursing in a jiff. No such luck though so I'm stuck pretending to care that these individuals don't get better.

NurseStephRN

110 Posts

Specializes in Telemetry, IMCU, s/p Open Heart surgery.

I totally agree and have been experiencing similar things on my open heart unit. Our census is finally perking up, so we're getting more surgical patients instead of these silly chest pain r/o mi's from the ER.

It seems like some of these patients don't want to go back to their previous level of functioning b/c "they had a heart operation." HELLO!!! you got surgery to get better! I had a patient get mad at me the other night b/c i took her bedside commode away! She reported walking down the hall several times that day... so why can't she take 4 more steps to the bathroom? I really had to have a sit-down with her and the daughter. It's like they want US to make them better instead of them working on getting better with our assistance. I really don't plan on doing nursing for too much longer. There's a huge lack of respect for us from the patients and their families. I feel like the doctors, who have a long-time reputation for treating nurses crappy, are treating us like the medical professionals that we are.

bluehippo

19 Posts

I can only imagine how you feel. What do you think about taking a leave of absence and talking to a counselor before you quit?

I used to work for an HMO. The RNs there worked Monday through Friday 8-430p with an hour lunch, with benefits and all of the normal holidays off. They told me that they made decent money (the office did not require a BSN or Master's degree). They also did not have to deal with patients, just hospital staff and doctors' offices. I also have an aunt who works for BCBS with the same Monday-Friday schedule. These may be some options for you?

I hope you find what you need. Good luck :)

Specializes in M/S, MICU, CVICU, SICU, ER, Trauma, NICU.

Don't give up yet!

You just need a break. I totally relate. When my FIL was dying, I had to be the person who had to take him to doctor's appointments, and be kind of responsible for his care. My husband couldn't do it as he was working a very stressful job (his dad) and his sister, well.....I won't go there.

Anyway, it took a lot out of me and I didn't want to give so much of myself to people. Especially demanding, entitled people. I took a break.

After his death, which took a lot out of my husband, I needed a break from being the compassionate, giving person. I was worn out and drained.

I took time off to contemplate, to rejuvenate and to realign.

It worked. Now I work in an area where I don't have to constantly "give." I care, I give of myself, and then the patient goes home or to the floor. Somewhere else. I develop a temporary, but good relationship.

Patients are happy because their surgery went well, and they are relatively painfree. They leave and I hopefully never see them again.

They write back on their surveys and mostly they are grateful.

You need something that validates your skills, but doesn't drain. Trust me, it is out there.

I hope you take the time to heal--don't give up totally yet--just take a break.

God bless,

Jo

nsFAMU

53 Posts

Specializes in NICU,ER, psych.

Wow I actually came on here to write something just like this! I've been a nurse for 4 years and I'm starting to feel the same way. I'm thinking maybe I should have done pharmacy. I would be better off finanically and maybe I wouldn't have to deal with so much drama. I used to do ER and yes I did meet some very nice people but most of them were just like the ones you spoke about. Now I do NICU and the patients are much better but the politics are still there. It could be working with so many women, working 12's or working nights that has me feeling like this and not necessarily nursing but i don't know. I love helping people but trying to do that while complying with all the rules and regulating agencies, policies, one doc or one charge nurse wanting you to do it this way and another wanting you to do it that way is too much pressure. Also the thought that two yrs down the road someone can hit us with a lawsuit and I have go to court about something I barely remember has always scared me. Most of the nurses I know that graduated around the same time as me feel the same way and end up hoping around to different types of nursing hoping to find something better. I just started a new job and its okay so far, hopefully I can stick it out. I'm hoping to get out of the hospital and off of nights sooner than later though. As a matter of fact I need to go get ready for work now!

Lovely_RN, MSN

1,122 Posts

mc3 time for a long vacation or a change in specialties? Maybe remind yourself that it's not you it's them? Sometimes you have to care a little bit less and just provide the "service" with courtesy and emotional detachment in order to save your sanity and keep earning a pay check?

eriksoln, I'm not being sarcastic but are there other kinds of patients?

Maybe it's too much T.V that makes people believe that a pill or an operation will fix them instantly?

What I experience of lot of in LTC is that many people think death is a result of negligence rather than the disease process or old age. People also seem to believe that conditions like dementia or Alzheimer's are reversible. They will ask when their very old, demented, peg tubed relative will walk, talk, be able to eat po again. I ask them what have they been told and they usually have been given accurate info but they still seem to believe that a particular drug or therapy will reverse an inevitable process. I guess is psychological, some sort of anticipatory grief but it makes the job very difficult when you are dealing with angry people who abuse you because you can't cure old age or terminal illness.

I know what you mean. Seems the poor economy not only has reduced census, but the people who are still coming to the hospital are the types who..........oh, how to put it: Can't have it any way but their way, but somehow when their way doesn't work, its your fault/problem.

I notice this sort of stuff a lot on my M/S floor. Recently a diabetic lady who was having breathing problems called out the dogs on the hospital/unit management because she felt she should have been "fixed" already and on her way home. Never mind she refuses PT/OT, does not adhere to her prescribed diet (blood sugars out of control the whole admit), takes her oxygen off because it "makes too much noise and I can't hear the television" and she, for the most part......lies in bed all day doing nothing, laying flat and sleeping all day long. She's been told to be more active, stay up in the chair etc...., but she doesn't like that so she does her own thing. Now that she is not getting better, its everyone elses fault.

People want to be made better, like there is some magical switch we have that will do that without them having to participate in their health. They keep putting off things, ignoring good advice and making everything else a higher priority. Then cause/effect takes over and somehow its everyone elses fault.

If the economy were a little better I'd be outta nursing in a jiff. No such luck though so I'm stuck pretending to care that these individuals don't get better.

Ahhphoey

370 Posts

Specializes in ICU, M/S,Nurse Supervisor, CNS.

I definitely know the feeling. I've been hands on nursing for 10 years ( I know thats not that long), but I am worn out. Last January I took on a part time job away from the bedside, but because I still loved patient care, remained part time in ICU as well. However, now I think I am ready to completely leave bedside nursing within the next year. I'm only 27 and many days after leaving my ICU job I am hurting all over and so drained all I can do is go home, shower, and go to bed. I love patient care, but it is just too much physically and mentally...well, at least more than I'm willing to give for too much longer. I love nursing, but its just time for a change. I just finished up on a MSN/MHA degree and I plan on using it.

beckyu04

15 Posts

Specializes in Invasive Cardiac/Cath Lab.

i decided a long time ago i couldnt do "bedside nursing". i work in a cath lab, i still get patient contact but its for a short time and they always appriciate what i do. i never feel burnt out because everyday is different and the pace is fast.

Zen123

113 Posts

I feel you on this.. I've been a nurse for 4 years now and I watch

my spending so I don't have to force myself to get full time employment. I have been fortunate to work 3 eight hrs shift q week and that has been enough for me. Working on the Floor is hard on your legs/feet and many times I don't even get the chance to go outside and take my break. And the list goes on. It's eat now, pee now, and run.

However, I accepted an open spot recently in another unit to work 5 days/4 days. I will do my best to remember, Finding Balance is super important. I bought a Shiatsu Massager and that has help. And I make a list of reminders to fall back on when I am starting to feel like I'm running empty...

Some days are better than others. I love you, my fellow nurses. Spread the Love.

I feel your pain and frustration. It sounds similar to how I felt when I just couldn't take it anymore as a social worker. I switched to research and never looked back.

So, my advice to you is to dust yourself off, do what you need to do to relieve the stress (which it sounds like you're going to do), and take those wonderful clinical skills that you've been able to acquire over the years to enter into something else. Why? Because something else is out there and you have done your duty.

Maybe health advocacy, managed care, research or something else is calling you at this moment.

Good luck

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