how do we change nurses opinions on male nurses? - page 3

i guess this kinda goes along with my other post. I our discussion the topic came up that some older nurses do not seem to believe males should or can be nurses. especially in the ob areas. how could... Read More

  1. by   jnette
    Must agree totally with BeckyICU and Caliotter3 !!! I, too, have often suspected the "female cattiness/ pettyness", etc. to contribute negatively to the image of nursing as a profession. Let's face it.... SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many women under one roof at one time !!! While I believe the female is a truly wonderous and fascinating being (and I'd far rather be female, thank you !...isn't that what T.G.I.F. really stands for? ), I also know how she thinks...while there ARE always the exceptions, I don't think any of us can deny (HONESTLY) our vices. So yes, although I happen to be one of those "OLDIES" you fellas have mentioned..:stone ...(don't FORGET how the REST of it goes.."but a GOODIE" !!!):roll , I cannot relate to the sentiments attributed to those ol' biddys. Don't identify with that at all! I truly enjoy the male contributions to ALL aspects of the profession certainly lightens up the mood, and I thoroughly enjoy their humor! I believe it helps keep things in check.. makes us more aware of our "pettyness", and take a deeper look at ourselves.

    I believe the guys have provided a much needed "balance" and I'm always grateful to have them around ! Don't fret about the "male nurse" thing, Guys! This, too, shall pass! I still know plenty of folks who still refuse to see a "female doctor" ! Get it?

    And Smiling Blue Eyes... I don't ever recall being called "female troops" when I was in the AF ! We were "Airmen" not Airwomen or female Airmen. We were "medics", not "female medics". But that was well before your time, I'm sure.. but NO.. not the days of the WAFS/WACS, either, so cut me a little slack ! It was in the great '70's... when things were really turning in our favor, and I never sensed any discrimination, ever!
    Maybe that only lasted a little while before it went back to the
    "good ol' boys'" mentality..don't know.
    So guys... maybe it would help to consider this (for what it's worth..) perhaps back long ago, nursing was one of the FEW (if not ONLY) true professions a woman had to claim ! And perhaps these older ladies still somehow feel that it has been "invaded".. y'know, feel threatened,.. feel that the one thing they had and were proud to call their own has now, too, been taken from them.
    So I guess I can understand that... not that it APPLIES anymore, but I can undersatnd where that thinking comes from. So don't be too hard on those women...but if they're YOUNG and come across that way, that's another thing altogether ! Tell 'em to get over it and "adjust or selfdestruct" ! :chuckle
  2. by   mark_LD_RN
    thks everyone for your reply especially you 2magnoliatrees.

    i think gender should not be an issue, I am blessed enough to work with a great bunch of nurses now. just the other day at change of shift i overheard a nurse from day shift tell my patient that i was going to be her nurse and that she would love me because i was a wonderful nurse. It caught me by surprise because she never says much and i thought she really just did not care much for me. but since i have been here I have just had one person who happened to be one of the docs complain . he wanted me fired because i was male. well the manager and all the nurses and several of the docs stood right up to him and told him that would never happen.

    this subject only came up again with me because a friend tried to get me a prn jon at another hospital and the L&D managerthere said no way because i was male.

    well i love what i di and am very good at ,from what my patients tell me and from the letters i have recieved. It is over whelming the support i have recieved from the docs,midwives and especially my manager. the other day she took me in her office just to tell me how good a job i was doing and thank me for all i have done around here. when she patted me on the shoulder and told me i was a wonderful nurse all they all love me here I almost cried. She has no idea how much hers and my coworkers support means to me.

    thanks again everyone for all the support and kind words. I am glad i found this BB.
  3. by   Genista
    It all boils down to traditional gender roles. Why is it that an OB/GYN MD is accepted, but a male nurse or nurse midwife is not? Yeah, we all know it makes no difference... it's a matter of tradition. I was so shocked when I saw a family member run up to the nurse's station last year. She spotted the blonde lady sitting at the counter at the nurses' station and told her that her loved one needed help for the commode! It was the patient's doctor she was speaking to...but the patient's family assumed that the lady was a nurse...I found that so amusing...

    Time to break down the barriers, I say! If you are professional then male or female, it does not matter.We have male RNs who are excellent... and we also have female MDs who are outstanding. Time to re-educate the public and welcome all genders into the professions. I welcome men, and any other under-represented group into nursing! We need strong nurses, we need variety!
  4. by   fergus51
    WHY THE "Women are catty and petty" THING AGAIN?!!! Sweet mother of GOD!! That is so much BS. I have worked with men who gossiped more than a National Enquirer columnist and women who do too. Pettyness is not in our nature and it's not not in men's nature. I have worked in female dominated jobs since I was 15 and have found some of them fabulous and others terrible when it came to office culture and politics. Has nothing to do with the gender, has to do with the individuals.
  5. by   jnette
    Glad you were fortunate enough to have worked with so many wonderful individuals ! Perhaps it's not even "cattiness/pettyness" but our tendency to show and express what we're feeling and get absorbed and involved in what we're feeling...I think we're way more analytical than our counterparts and tend to analyze even the most trivial things! At any rate, I'm sticking to my story. From MY own personal experience I have noticed a HUGE difference (and I don't even count gossip.. I know the guys can be as bad and worse for that!). But I'll go along with all being individuals who need to take responsibility for our own individual behaviors.. the good AND not so good !
  6. by   shodobe
    It all comes with confidence in yourself. I have been in nursing for 26 years and never had one problem with patients or fellow nurses. I have worked in the OR for the past 25 years and only a couple of times has anesthesia asked for a female in the room during induction. I have no problem with that because if it is only guys in the room and we have a young female for all of our protection I have one of the girls come in and stand by the patient so she can see that a woman is in the room. I feel if I can't be excepted as I am, a male, in this profession surrounded by females then TOUGH! If they want to criticize me as a nurse then OK, but if it gets to be a gender thing, watch out! I don't back down for anybody. I know it is tough if you have more than one go after you but remember the saying, CYA. Make sure you are never put into a position where you have to explain yourself. I guess I have been lucky through my career where one instance ruins my whole outlook on nursing. If you can go somewhere you are appreciated, I know there are lots of places just ready for you. Good luck and stay tough. Mike

    PS, I just remembered a number of years ago we did have a male nurse wanting to work in L&D. He was denied and threatened to sue but eventually left and gave up on the idea.
  7. by   mlolsonny
    Well, I have now removed "male nurse" from my vocabulary.

    I work with two male CNA's, both of whom plan a career in nursing. One is 16 and still in high school, but you'll never find a harder worker. He's very caring with the residents in our LTCF.

    The other one is about 25 and is working on his BSN. He'd be easier to work with if he wasn't so dang cute and didn't smell so great. He has all the young girls drooling over him (which he loves).

    These guys are great to work with and I've only had good experience with working in the hospital with the guys. I had a really good OR experience in clinical, because the circulating nurse took the time to explain a lot. He was great.

    No bias from this SPN, the guys I've worked with have really known their stuff.
  8. by   salve#1
    Male doctors don't get these kind of responces. I'm with you. I don't understand why there is never a thought when an MD works in these settings. But the man be a nurse and oh nelly I'm a male nurse. I didn't spend four brutal years in school just so I could look at breasts and vaginas. Get a life people. Male pt.s have put up with having female nurses look at them for decades. So whats the beef. If your that darn well that all you can worry about is a male nurse seeing your privates then your well enough to go home. get out! Like it or not we are there to do a job just like all our female companions. It is very disturbing that we don't get the respect we deserve from some of our pt.s and fellow staff members
  9. by   bluzman
    As a male who has been in this field for 20 years, I've lost count of the number of people I've told that Registered Nurse, not a male nurse (or the doctor). My gender is nowhere on my license. I had 2 different instructors tell me I needed to find a place that would allow me to work L&D because of the feedback they had gotten from my patients and their families. I approached it as my job and nothing more, and the guys in my class all had to do shave preps, enemas, vag pads, fundal massage, peri-lights, and anything else our female counterparts had to do. It was my favorite rotation, but in the real world, a guy tells a hospital he wants to work OB, they look at him as some kind of freak. Males in this profession are still looked at as an oddity because there are so few of us. People still wonder why I didn't go to medical school, and we're still thought of as homosexual because real men can't be care givers, can't be nurturing, when in reality, real, true men can be and are caring, nurturing beings, and until the stigma attatched to be a male in the nursing field, is gotten rid of, I'm afraid things won't change very much
  10. by   Tweety
    I feel basically the best answers came from sjoe and Rusty. Be the best that you can be and leave the rest.

    I KNOW for a fact I'm as good as any female, and even better. That's all the validation I need.

    On a side note, I've never felt any negativity from any coworkers by either their actions or words that males shouldn't be in nursing, or aren't as good as.

    I did run across a patient just this week who was telling one nurse "I don't want male nurses, they aren't as good" as I was walking in the room. "Hi, I'm your charge nurse, I'll make appropriate assignments to make you feel comfortable, but I'm here to assess your wound per the request of your female nurse". She was a bit embarrassed. People are going to feel how they are going to feel.
  11. by   CCU NRS
    It does go both ways and if you truly have proof of this being a male nurse issue preventing hire I would go at them from a legal angle.

    Yes I know the world is suit happy but if the suit fits wear it LOL

    N E way this really strange to me I am male nurse and have never had any problem with any type of discrimination unless it is reverse, meaning that doctors that are known for bad tempers never display them with me and I have never been yelled at by a doc one the phone or in person.
  12. by   wjf00
    I am a male nurse and I have never had a problem with discrimination. Maybe I have just been fortunate, but I have worked in 4 hospitals and several units. Currently I work in NICU.
    Much as a previous writer has said, I have seen discrimination the other way where Drs. show me more respect than my female counterparts. The hospital I work at has a very strong Union, which seems to me to be the biggest deterent to discrimination.
  13. by   renerian
    I do not have an easy solution for the narrowminded nature someone may have based on gender.

    My hubby is a nurse so I became a young adult being exposed to this.