Help I am loosing my mind - page 6

I am really frustrated with my nursing career. So much so that I decided to go abck to school and study something unrelated to the medical field. I ahve been bullied, harrassed, given harder... Read More

  1. by   cargal

    I am so happy for you. Life IS too short and there are too many opportunities for a nurse (or an engineer!) out there. Great Luck and let us know how you are doing. One of the upsides is all the support you got from the nurses on! You will find that your old job will soon become a distant memory.

  2. by   CATHYW
    Congrats, NSmith! I know this has been an agonizing time for you. So, what is your new job? Whatcha doin?
    Best of luck!
  3. by   nsmith_rn
    OK the new job is one an IMC ( ICU stepdown)
    that is something that I have wanted to do for a bit.
    I think that I might enjoy it.
    It ia hard for places like where I was at to take all the joy out of nursing.
    Love and passion for what you do can only go. When it is a constant assault on you
    that takes it toll
  4. by   Mkue

    I'm just curious.. If a nurse leaves a place of employment in nursing on not so good terms and seeks other employment.. do the prospective employers call your last place of employment and ask personnel if there has been a problem, or is there any checking with previous employers?

    I'm just curious I guess, some of the horror stories I've seen on these boards makes me wonder if someone could try to undercut your chances of getting another job.

    As you can see I'm not a nurse yet, I hope my question doesn't sound ignorant. I just like to analyze things.

    nnurse smith, I'm happy for you !
  5. by   JennieBSN
    Last edit by JennieBSN on Dec 8, '01
  6. by   CATHYW
    Mkue, I've had it happen to me-when I was an LPN on an ICU step-down unit, I wanted to transfer to OB because they had a part-time position, and the schedule would work well when I returned to school for RN. Had the interview (a Loooonnng one), was told the paperwork for transfer would be sent to HR the next morning, went home floating on a cloud. Next morning, phone rings, it is the OB manager-something has come up, and she can't use me, but thanks. Took me a while, but found out that my Manager didn't want me to leave her unit, and somehow put the kibosh on my transfer. So, I kept working the same unit for a few more months, finally quit, and worked in a Dr's. office while I finished school. Went back, reapplied to the ER (same hospital)after I graduated, and was accepted, no problem. It seems you are at their whims.
    I have no way of proving it, but I think the lovely ER manager that I wrote about on another thread ruined my chance to be a nurse manager for the Red Cross blood bank. Same thing-interview went well, job hours discussed, etc., liked my ER exp. and the fact that I was a firefighter/first responder, and multiple certifications. Let me check your references-I have had absolutely NOTHING negative in my personal or professional life that could be reported and/or uncovered. Only thing I can think is that this woman knew someone at the RC, and down the tubes that one went. That's okay-this job was created for me by the HR manager here-I worked one day a week as plant nurse from the same hospital where I had worked in the ER. They hired me away from them, called my manager there, said, "we have good news and bad news. The good news is that we have hired Cathy. The bad news is that she won't be working for you anymore. But, if you continue to have a good working relationship with Cathy, we will continue to use you for our Occ. Health needs." It will be 2 years Nov. 11, and so far, so good!

    nsmith- Good for you! I believe you will like this type of work. I really liked it-it is like a mix of ER, ICU, and med/surg nursing. You use your skills and knowledge to varied, great, extent (no slams intended to any othre dept.!). The only thing I didn't care for was the revolving-door, chronically ill patients. Not them, personally, but the fact that I saw them so often that I became attached to many of them, and it was painful to watch them and their families suffer as they declined and passed away, but that is another thread. Anyway, all of the best to you-stick to your guns, and stick up for yourself, with this new staff. Just don't be too defensive or over-assertive-that will start a whole new thing!
  7. by   betts
    Too All,

    I've been in nursing since 1969 and managment for the last 9 years. I DO NOT allow any form of harassment, I support my nurses and have recently been dismissed because I wouldn't back down from Corporate.
    I would have an impromptu meeting with ALL nursing staff; on their shifts, outlining my expectations and guidelines. I've always had an open-door policy, I believe in and back my charge nurses but always listen to both sides before any decision is made. I also inform them that NO-ONE including myself, knows it all and that I'll never ask them too do anything that I wouldn't do.
    I also realize that their are those that try to imtimidate others and have shown several the door regardless of position, seniority or whom they know.
    My first priority is and always has been the care of the client/patient/resident. I've had the unfornunate opportunity on several occasions of having to deal with administrators on up whom if you put their brain in a birds head, it would fly backwards.
    We are the front lines of healthcare; we need a unified voice, lobbyist, the 'sticks in the asses of our elected officials'; if you will; and start beating them! I've said it for years, everyone needs to email them! Be consistent and unwavering in this. I have my message typed up in Word Format and send it daily, even too the White House. Someone has too be reading it too reply.
  8. by   nsmith_rn
    only five more shifts on hell unit
    I don't know if I would have my sanity if not for all of you
    it has given me a chance to vent and not be "that *****y nurse"
  9. by   micro
    N Smith, congrats and enjoy your last few days. Yes, you are right. The grass may not be emerald greener, but just making a change is a plus. In nursing this also does not seem to be a negative and almost a smart move anymore!!!!!!!!!
    To CareerRN, Betts. and all others(sorry after forty, memory goes),
    What Write Stuff writes is Wright on!!!!!!!!!
    It is unfortunate that nursing has become like this, that we are all feeling the problems internally so universally.
    I guess it makes me feel better that it is not just me, but it is a sad state of affairs.
    More later, as I am bushed after a productive, rewarding, but very TIRING day of nursing!!!!!!
  10. by   psnurse
    There are ways to deal with situations like these. I applied for a charge position. Now I am the evil one. Well only if you are the evil one first.

    When approached by others who wish to complain about someone, I listen. Then I decide if it is a valid complaint that needs to be addessed. A lot of the time, it doesn't seem to possess the qualities that I would consider, job related. Then I look to the complaining person and say, "Is this really an issue? Did you really have enough time to evaluate the work of someone else? Then obviously you haven't got enough to do. You can admit this person from _________ "(fill in the blank).

    My other favorite questions.... "This is affecting you how?" "Isn't that your call light?"

    Favorite comment... "Don't come to me later and tell me you didn't have time to take a lunch."

    This does not mean that I don't address actual issues as they arise. But the backbiting has to stop somewhere. The buck might as well be me. So far, I have received 100% back up from management or this wouldn't be possible. The atmosphere of teamwork does seem to be improving.
  11. by   nsmith_rn
    that is the crazy thing is that this was not my supervisor. When I reported the behavior ( yelling at me, making personal comments about my body, clothing and personal life which she knows nothing of and also inferring that I was substance abusing on the job) My supervisor told me that those where strong allegations and that they needed to be investigated.
    Then she proceded to tell me about how upset she was becasue her boss found out before her.
    That was when I knew that she was not intrested in me but rather in herself.
    Well I start the new job next week...... and it will be something that I can padd the old resume with.. I am looking forward to it...
    As for the back stabbing on my way out the door when i applied for my new job I told them the reason that I was leaving was becasue I wanted a job closer to home and the resume and letters of refrence where enough for them. They gave me the salary and shift that I wanted......
    I have finished all the pre- employment screening and they wanted me to start this coming week
  12. by   psnurse
    Congrats on the new job. I hope things are better for you there.

    Unfortunately, there are many managers that just perpetuate the problem of backstabbing. They want a cohesive team, but they don't want to call anyone on their behavior. But the upside is there doesn't seem to be any shortage of jobs. Sometimes you have to be as flexible as a spaghetti noodle to find one that works for you.

    For me, I wasn't the subject of such disdain as you described. But others were and for some reason I was the chosen one to listen. I thought I could make a difference by stopping some of it, so I needed the authority to say what was on my mind. Hence, the charge position. It has had some positive effects. At least on the days that I work. I can't fix my days off.

    Changing jobs wasn't the best option for me because I live in a rural area and a new job would mean a horrendous drive. Especially in the winter.

    My methods are simple. Personal attacks will not be validated. This allegation of drug abuse that you were subjected to would have been met with this statement, "I hope you have some hard proof to back that up. Otherwise, you could be held civilly liable for slander or liable, whichever is the spoken form of character assination."

    I just can't jump on the let's talk about her today wagon. It drives me crazy!
  13. by   nsmith_rn
    NEw job is going well..... life is good..... not any toxic co-workers noted at this time... will continue to moniter.... hehehe