HELP!

[Scrubby]

I can't say too much because I don't want anyone from work reading this but I've just been verbally assaulted by a surgeon.

Basic story: Surgeon had poor behaviour even bragging about swearing at and insulting a nurse. I decided that I had to say something an so I spoke to them in private and rather than discussing the problem they went completely ballistic, accused me of pointing at them and decided to intimidate me by pointing their finger right in my face and threatening my job, threatening to report me to the head of surgical department etc. I'm just standing there flabbagasted.

really I should have laughed and offered to ring the head of surgery myself and interrupt his lunch break because his junior surgeon is having a hissy fit because of the nasty nurse. But instead I asked them to calm down, was ignored and it got worse. At this point I had a witness (thank goodness) who saw the screaming, finger pointing, me asking for them to stop. To be honest I was afraid for my personal safety.

Usually I don't get rattled because it's rarely personal, people yell because they are frustrated at lack of equipment etc but this was really the actions of an irrational person who clearly has issues.

So I walked away and basically just lost it, cried for hours, had to get counselling and go home early. My managers are aware of this, one of them spoke to them about it and their response was that they was joking and was surprised that I took it so seriously.

Any advice here? I'm dreading working with them again.

[metal_m0nk, BSN, RN]

Hoping for the best for you as you move toward a resolution.

Hang in there!

[leslie :-D]

Five minutes after bragging about insulting this nurse (the med student looked disgusted but I'm not hoping they will back my story because they won't want to get involved) this person threw a couple of incontinence sheets at me. After hearing the disrespectful nurse story I assumed that they had decided to treat me the same way. They saw the look of annoyance on my face, chuckled and left the room. At this moment I knew that I had to say something or go through the rest of the day fuming over it which is not healthy. That's when I left the room and told them that this is the last time you ever throw something at me and insult nurses. Then they went ballistic, denied throwing the sheets and accused me of finger pointing.

how were these sheets thrown at you?

were they tossed or were they angrily thrown?

from the little you have said, it really does sound like a case of assault and battery (if the sheets touched your person).

i really hope you don't cry.

you need to be angry...how dare he!!!

he/they need to know you mean business, scrubby.

i'm serious, this would go so far beyond a meeting, if it were me.

but i'm an incorrigible brat, and no one treats me like garbage and gets away with it.

try to psych yourself up by getting your adrenaline going.

yes, you still need to be in control during the meeting.

but they also need to see how ticked off you are.

(((hugs))) to you, honey.

leslie

[Scrubby]

The sheets were not thrown angrily because the surgeon was confident at that stage that they could get away with disrespectful behaviour. They were thrown at me as though I was a lowly servant. The sheets (they are the small blue incontinent sheets) sort of touched my abdominal area and then landed on the patient.

I will update you all on this meeting. I'm going to try not to be a cry baby and will try to adopt an icily calm professional manner.

[Kayartea]

Sorry, but I disagree. Patient Safety was involved. Any time a nurse is too upset to do the job, or another nurse has to stretch to cover for an upset nurse, all of the patients being cared for are affected. Just because there were no major errors or deaths directly attributable to this incident doe not mean patients were not at increased risk.

[morte, LPN, LVN]

this crying business --usually an expression of anger, i suspect.....but so many women are uncomfortable with that.....good luck, get this a$$, ridden out on a rail....would be my hope

[netglow, ASN, RN]

What Leslie said...

And, I tend to be pretty cold and calculated when seriously wronged as well. I'd take it all the way, even if he fakes a "Geez, she needs to not be so sensitive, we were just play'in" comeback to difuse things in your first meeting.

Be prepared, he likely will try to brush it off and make you out to be overly sensitive. Be sure to be reserved, cold, and don't be long-winded. I personally, love to lock eyes: cold and a little bit too long for the comfort of the other guy. You'd be surprised how that will rattle people. BTW good to think of the ways he might respond, so you don't get so ****** at his comments that you do cry out of a need for pressure release. I would continue all the way up the ladder as Leslie reccommends. He might think he's taken care of the situation, but no, he's mistaken.

If you're gonna do it, do it good.

[Scrubby]

Update:

Well apparantly the person has been spoken to about it. Interestingly enough they felt too unwell to come to my OR today. The person in charge of dealing with this basically told me that in future if he points at me again to threaten to break their finger because that will shut them up.

So basically this will be swept under the rug like all the other problems at my work.

I graduated with a post graduate diploma yesterday and I allowed this incident to spoil my day.

[sh1901]

Scrubby - I am so sorry about all of this and the "non"-outcome of it all. I honestly think that in the work place you should treat everyone with basic human decency. I don't care if they are the chief of medicine or the janitor. Everyone is there just doing their job, and I don't think that any one job is more important than the other. Yes, the doctor "saves lives"....but try doing that when no one is emptying your trash or fixing the backed up toilets. You learn the value of these "lesser" folks real quick. Hang in there...this person is a jerk and they usually end up getting what's coming to them in the end!

I too cry when I get upset....not just sad or hurt, but if I get really angry I cry....I wish that I would not because I think that it makes it seem like I am LESS angry than I am. Sometimes I can manage to hold it together when I am in front of others, but as soon as I get alone, I lose it! You aren't alone!