Well, tomorrow will be the first day in almost a decade that I will wake up and have nowhere that I need to be. I got kicked out to the curb today. Fired. Canned. Terminated. I've been busting my butt for months, trying to keep up with the incredible workload, and while I'm relieved in a way---I've known for quite a while that I wasn't handling it well---I don't know how to act. I haven't been fired since I was 26 years old and working in a factory where I was let go for being sick too often during my early pregnancy. I'm not really all that worried about finding another job, not with the nursing shortage here in my little corner of the world, but I feel like I must be a total loser to get fired from a nursing home!!
I mean, they didn't even want me to stay on as a charge nurse (I was the resident care manager) or in any capacity, though they did tell me I was re-hireable if I were to get my medical and emotional problems (read: depression) under control at some point. Of course, it was conveniently forgotten that at least part of my current depressive state can be directly attributable to the stresses I've been under as a result of trying to do the impossible, but what the hell.....at least I'll be able to draw unemployment benefits while I sit here and try to figure out what my next move is. Lord knows I needed a break---I've been working 50-hour weeks for 15 months straight, and I am burned out. I can't afford to be out of work for long, but I am going to take a couple of weeks to relax a little, spend some time cleaning my house, and of course look for another job.
I'm so fed up with LTC that I'm considering going to agency nursing for awhile, until I decide what I DO want to do. Making a better-than-average hourly wage, going to a variety of different facilities, and not having any obligation to stay at one I don't like (or deal with the politics) sounds pretty good to me right now.
Thanx for "listening" to my whining......and if anyone has some other suggestions as what I should do next, please offer them. I feel really lost right now.
sorry about you losing your job...being a nurse manager in LTC is an extremely difficult job..at times the work that they expect is unrealistic....dont feel like a failure...consider this a blessing and move on....Hopefully not working in that particular position will reduce your stress and help you with your depression..there are so many jobs out there...I hope that you find one that makes you happy... Good Luck
I wish you all the best, I'm sorry you got fired and agree with what so many of our wise allnurses friends have said already....
take this time for yourself, depression is a serious thing, do what you need to do , get help and realize that although it certainly may not feel like it right now -this could have been a very good thing.
I wish you on to greener pastures, better times and happier days!!!
just think , when youre at a job you really love you can look back and realize that you were not happy at the time or at that place.
right now take time for YOU!!!
we support you regardless of circumstance or distance so please keep us posted.....
and off topic - ftell001 what is your avatar?? I've seen it before and meant to ask you , but it scares the beejebus outta me for some reason I think of freddy kruegers eye when I see it
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
YOU GUYS ROCK!!!!!
Thanks so much to all of you who've posted replies to this thread........I appreciate your caring, your advice, and your unconditional support. My family is sympathetic to a point, but they can't understand like you all do, and of course they're worried about how we're going to manage financially without my income.
I did go and file for unemployment benefits today, even though I felt like a nobody. I doubt the facility will fight it very hard, since, as one person suggested, they fired me in such a way that I should be able to collect. And yes, I've thought about fighting my dismissal on the grounds that I was unable to do the job adequately because I was suffering from stress, depression, burnout etc. (and the administration has known about it since October). But at this point, I'm just not angry enough yet to go down that road, and I wouldn't want that job back anyway.
I've had almost 30 hours now to analyze the situation, and since I promised my family that I would allow myself only 48 hours of self-pity, I'm quickly coming to the realization that DEFECATION EVENTUATES, and that I shouldn't beat myself up just because some of it happened to me. I just got chewed up and spit out like lots of people do. I don't have to like it, but I do have to learn from it and go on from here.
I saw my doctor today too, and got my antidepressant increased as well as a referral to an OB-GYN so I can get something done about my excessive bleeding and pelvic pain (just a couple of the medical problems plaguing me these days). I've had fibroids for years, but when I last saw an OB I was 39 and he didn't want to do a hysterectomy because I was seriously overweight. I'm still seriously overweight, but I'm almost 44 now and my MD says this new doc (a woman) will do the surgery if she thinks I need it, and from what he and I both think, the sooner I can have it done the better. I won't see her until January 10, but what a relief to know that something may finally get done about all this pain and bleeding.
I also appreciate all of the reminders that this is more than likely a blessing in disguise, not only because I'm getting a much-needed rest break, but also because it opens up the door to other opportunities I might not have considered when I was working. That idea about the marketing of nursing-care products---that's one I never would've thought of, and I'm actually intrigued!
I also would love to work as a lobbyist for elderly and LTC issues, but have absolutely no idea how to get started. Luckily I live within 25 miles of the state capital, and I may just look around up there sometime this week to see what I can find out.
So, it's not all gloom and doom. And thanks to all of you, I think I'll be able to cut short my 48-hr. pity party.
Consider what you liked about LTC,then think about going into another area of nursing. Check with local hospitals and see what they need. Perhaps mental health or substance abuse centers would be an area you would like. They are more medically stable and involve less lifting,etc. Agency work is definately worth looking into as they pay well and you are not involved in poitics, plus you pick the schedule and the places that you will work. Most now offer insurance,etc. Good luck .
I'm not a touchy-feely person, but....(((hug))). Being fired, even if it was expected, even if it was 'for the best', still is just about the most emotionally devastating thing ever. You have my prayers and all my good thoughts.
"I also would love to work as a lobbyist for elderly and LTC issues, but have absolutely no idea how to get started"
Call up whatever agency deals with elder abuse in your area and arrange to take a couple of them to lunch/coffee.
Do the same with a few people you find by calling or dropping by a couple of local LTC facilities.
Get in touch with a local branch of the AARP (you can find them on the web) for further chats.
If any of your local churches have parish nursing offices, stop in and see what they have to say.
Talk with your local assemblyperson/state congressperson/US congressperson and see what they have to say about lobbying or other nursing/political opportunities.
Network, in other words, in your local area to get a wider feel of the needs, wishes, and opportunities that exist for what you want to do, as well as meeting people who will know other people, or who have other ideas you may not have thought of, etc.
rn2b2005 writes: "Being fired, even if it was expected, even if it was 'for the best', still is just about the most emotionally devastating thing ever."
ONLY to the degree that you have your self-image and self-confidence tangled up in a particular job. NOT a good idea, regardless, IMHO.
How come we all just accept being treated like this? So evident in all the suggestions for how to heal herself. They're really good suggestions but how come nurses first reaction is to just take our lumps & go away quietly to lick our wounds?
How come we dont say "hey wait a second....." when our rights are stepped on. Firing is one thing - BUT if her medical problem had anything to do with it, he was wrong & owes her her salary.
And that check would come in very handy during her sabbatical.
But why do nurses just meekly go away without making them pay?
Agreed. That is the point I was trying to make when I was forced to leave a job d/t bullying and mobbing behavior. It is not "playing the victim". It is making those who have crossed the line legally accountable for their actions.
Good luck. Their is a "nursing shortage". You will probably find a job that pays a lot more money, and soon.
I also would love to work as a lobbyist for elderly and LTC issues, but have absolutely no idea how to get started. Luckily I live within 25 miles of the state capital, and I may just look around up there sometime this week to see what I can find out.
So, it's not all gloom and doom. And thanks to all of you, I think I'll be able to cut short my 48-hr. pity party.
Love to all,
Marla:kiss
Marla, why don't you get in touch with Karen from the nurse/activist thread. She might have some ideas how you may get started in lobbying if that is what you like to do. I've seen her name a number of times on the BB.
Being fired stinks, but at this time it may be the best for you. Take care of yourself! You know that you have many people that care about you and are wishing you the best.
Sorry. I was also once fired from a LTC facility. Never fired from any other job in my life. At first, you feel it must be your fault, but then you realize it's an impossible job. I really wanted to leave the job anyway, but probably never would have. I wouldn't be an RN today if the factory I worked for hadn't closed. I just need that boot out the door. My next job was so much better and I was there for 4 1/2 yrs. until I moved. They treated me as a valuable employee. So, I know you'll find something your much happier with and what a great time to be off, during the holidays. Get that shopping, cleaning, wrapping and baking done. I'm betting there's a great weight been lifted. Enjoy the time off.
You know you've hated that job, mjlrn97! You've been trying to do the impossible for a long time! You've been worried about patient care when this half-a$$ed LTC is worried about looking good for the state inspections! They wouldn't let you do your job because they always gripped about OT (and that's probably the REAL reason they canned you . . . you were costing them that extra 10-hours/week!)
The only thing here is that they stepped on your ego a little! So WHAT? Are ya feeling a little annoyed? Well, call state on them and report everything you know about the place and maybe then you can get a little care for those poor residents! Let it be your last wave goodbye (with a certain finger more prominent than the others, if you understand what I mean)!
You already know that you're a GREAT nurse! And, a wonderful person on top of it! Consider it a compliment that they fired you, because it was! Someone who is caring and trying to do their best despite all the crap they've thrown at you (I've read your other postings about this job), would never fit in. I'm amazed you lasted as long as you did! You've got more staying power than I would have had!
God love ya, mjlrn97! Get past the bruised ego (and I know it's a blow, but see the situation for what it is -- a testament that a GOOD nurse could never make it there), and enjoy yourself for awhile! Take time to heal from the emotional damage they caused you, and swear to yourself that you'll never let anyone treat you like this again! You DESERVE better!
The "good for you" part is because filing for unemployment costs them MONEY! ha ha ha!
danam7
10 Posts
sorry about you losing your job...being a nurse manager in LTC is an extremely difficult job..at times the work that they expect is unrealistic....dont feel like a failure...consider this a blessing and move on....Hopefully not working in that particular position will reduce your stress and help you with your depression..there are so many jobs out there...I hope that you find one that makes you happy... Good Luck