Good Ole Boys...

[grnvillechick]

I have a friend that has started in a big hospital in an ICU setting for the first time in her career..she has been a dialysis -outpatient-nurse for 10 years..she called me tonite very upset..and knowing this site like I do..I thought I would throw it out there to get your input...

she is experiencing some good ole boy stuff....you know --those inner circles and cliques that every unit has...the problem is she is on nights and the staff is smaller and very close knit..been together for years,etc....they have taken upon themselves to alter her schedule when the nurse manager is not looking...and no one tells her----they talk " around" to each other and not really to her--- she is a capable nurse, doesn't really get over excited...she has tried cooking things for them, chatting a little to give them background and make them know her better...still no luck. the other night she was given an assignment from hell..and the other nurse working with her--they were short---was no help. she is used to a team spirit..something that appears to be lacking from her current situation...I told her this was a hazing period..that maybe they are testing her to see what kind of nurse she'll be..but really she has been there over 6 months and you would think it would be enough. She loves her job..and the nurse manager and really cannot find too much fault with any of her co workers...they just seem cold and indifferent. there are a few she enjoys working with and she says those days are great...think her expectations are too high??? any input will help!!! thanks!

[frustratedRN]

im wondering if we work at the same hospital on the same unit...lol

[hoolahan, ASN, RN]

In my experience, if you think they are testing her, then they are waiting for her to "crack." To get really PO'd, tell them off, etc

I find that a direct appraoch is best. AS soon as she finds someone being rude, pull them aside privately and directly confront them ask, "DO you have a problem with my nursing care? I have observed when I do this, you _______." And describe the situation, ask for an explanation. Finish with, I don't come here to be friends, you don't have to like me, but it would be so much nicer if we could all get a long and act like a team. When you talk around me, it makes me feel like I am not a part of the team and I would like it to stop."

In other words it's time to grow some "cahunas", and don't bake for nasty people!!!!!!

[P_RN, ADN, RN]

YOU GO, HOOL-IO!!

Never let them see you sweat.

[CEN35]

and there are still a couple clique people I dont' really talk too. I know they say things behind my back. I also know they have given me a hard time thinking, I dont realize it. I just say it like it is.......like it or not? Oh well!!!!!! Point is........some people never change.

me :)

[fiestynurse]

She has been there 6 months! I would say that the "hazing" period is over. Quit trying so hard! Is it that important that she become part of their "clique?" Are they that special? I doubt it!

Stop kissing their behinds, by bringing in food. They should have to earn those things. She should let them know that she is there to work and take care of the patients. If she is given an unfair assignment, she should speak-up. They will respect her for it.

Plus, there seem to be many positives here--she likes her job and the nurse manager. So, she should not let this "clique" get to her. It's immature, junior high stuff! She should rise above it!

[Huganurse]

Give me a break! This kind of behavior is immature and UNPROFESSIONAL!

In my opinion, hazing type innitiations are stupid and can affect the person that it is aimed at in a negative way. It can shatter confidence, lower self esteem, and break down anyone who allows this to happen to them. I have seen this and experienced this myself. Usually in a new position. I have never taken a new job with the goal of making friends which helps me avoid any downside but that doesn't mean it doesn't bother me.

Usually this situation occurs when:

A. A new nurse comes to the unit, does not catch on, and makes multiple mistakes.

OR

B. The new nurse is excellent. Better than the others who have worked on the unit for a long time and perhaps has more experience. The seniority nurses can feel threatened and will try to run off the new nurse so they can cont. to look good.

[grnvillechick]

thanks to all for input...esp to Huganurse...I printed your replies and my friend found them very useful!!! she said if she could she would bake for YOU !!!!