Family Members: Do you get along with all of them? - page 2
You know you have to see them, but have you ever hated getting together with them? I mean, you still love them....but, can't stand being around them.... Read More
Nov 30, '02Occupation: RN Joined: Aug '01; Posts: 2,276; Likes: 42My family can be pretty whacked too at times. Me and my sister couldn't stand the sight of each other until about a year ago. She was the wild child, in trouble with the law, loser husband and so on. She finally divorced the loser husband and found herself a really nice guy. Married him last year and has been pretty decent since then.
My husband's family is a mixed bag. Most of them are okay, but a few of them could drop off the face of the earth and I could care less. My MIL was the sweetest, dearest woman on earth and my heart literally broke in two when she died last spring. I miss her so much. My FIL is a great guy too but can be a little difficult at times but not intolerable. Then I have a SIL who the nicest name I can think of for her is dumba**. She is married to my husband's brother and she is a conniving little witch. Trapped my BIL by getting pregnant on their wedding night (or maybe before ). Then she also forgot to tell him about the $10,000 of credit card debt she had and that she had not paid her taxes in like 3 years. This woman is about as warm as an ice cube. When my MIL was in the hospital for 4 weeks last spring before her death, this ice cube came and saw her maybe twice. But the morning she died she came to the hospital and acted like she was my MIL's favorite. Of course, she didn't get there until after my MIL was dead. The funeral home was a real treat too. Wearing her black dress and playing the grieving DIL. I wanted to toss my cookies (at her). She never paid any attention to my MIL when she was alive, now we have theatrics. (where is the puking smilie?). This woman has a master's degree in education and the brains of a cockroach. We haven't talked to each other in like 4 years. So now, my husband's sister decides to butt in this mess and has just made things worse throughout the whole family. Sometimes I want to go a deserted island.
Kevin, I still think your sister takes the cake.......
Nov 30, '02Specialty: Clinical Risk Management ; Joined: Aug '01; Posts: 2,345; Likes: 75I'm the eldest of 4, with 2 brothers & a sister. My sister is closest in age, but most distant in heart & thought. Aside from the "issues" that we all brought with us from our less than ideal childhood, getting an idea though her head is like trying to poke through a brick wall. The capacity to reason is just not there. I keep her as far from me as is possible, although her husband's former military career & now their lifestyle has made this very easy for me to do.
Nov 30, '02Occupation: RN, ICU/CCU Joined: Aug '02; Posts: 1,062; Likes: 7The more people you throw into the mix, the more chances there are that some will not get along.
I have a large family. 'Nuff said.
Nov 30, '02Occupation: Critical Care Joined: Aug '00; Posts: 2,629; Likes: 20It seems that so many of us have a dysfunctional family member. I have a sister who is pure EVIL, enough said.
Nov 30, '02From: US ; Joined: Oct '01; Posts: 6,238; Likes: 1,829I have no idea where my Dad's family is or who is even left and I like it that way, I chose to distance them from my life when I was 16...they hated my Mom for the 20 years my parents were married, when she divorced his drunk cheating a$$ they blamed me because I chose to stay with Mom...I was 6 (???) very mean, drunk hatefull people, seems like even the people who marry into the family end up that way.
Of my Mom's family 100 of us live in the same county, another 12 live 2 counties away and there are another 20 scattered over 3 States. We all get along and keep in touch thru the family grape vine but we sure don't live in each others pockets. We all get together every year or 2 for a wedding or because an out of stater is visiting for the first time in 3-4 years. If we havent had a reason to get together somebody throws a reunion potluck and we all show up at their house.
The only "fly" in it is my 50-something sister, she is my Mom's step daughter, married my widowed Dad when Sis was 2. Sis has gone thru this phase the last 15 years where shes "always been treated like an outsider". She doesn't realize that it is all in her head. Good greif, this is the family that "keeps" the ex's (I have an aunt & an uncle that married into the family and divorced after 20+ years that are still invited to every function-and come). She holds her self off to the point of having very little to do with OUR Mom who has terminal cancer.
I am lucky, I come from a family that keeps the fun in dysfunctional.
Nov 30, '02Joined: Oct '00; Posts: 10,236; Likes: 64Nope. They're all farggin insane. Except for me, of course
Nov 30, '02Occupation: CRNA Joined: Mar '02; Posts: 2,000; Likes: 66I forgot to mention the funny part about dear old sis: Her masters? Before the PhD in informatics? Psychiatric nursing!
Nov 30, '02Joined: Sep '02; Posts: 910; Likes: 9I get along well with my mom. I consider my relationship with my sister distant, but I did move 3000 miles away at the age of 18, and she was only 14. Really haven't seen her since. My dad is a long story. I have nothing to do with him. He lives somewhere in Oregon, probably homeless and hating the world. Last I knew, he was caring for a distant cousin with terminal cancer. Did I forget to mention he is a raging alcoholic and abuses drugs. He lost his career, numerous jobs since, and ultimately his family because of it. He has been given numerous chances, my mom even once letting him live with her for 6 months after they were divorced for a long time because he had no place to go. My dad is also a thief, and when drunk, very mean. I have been tempted over the years to try to contact him, but I worry that he will con me into giving him money or con me into letting him live with me. Can't do that to my family. Now, my in-laws are in Florida and that is where they can stay. One of my sister in laws live here, and she is halfway decent now because she is pregnant. My grandparents and family on dad's side of the country are religious high-rollers. They seemed to never have approved of me. I see my grandparents maybe once a year to visit family here in town. Speaking of family in town, I don't talk to them at all. They are a strange lot. Very religious. Kids were raised to believe that a woman should only go to school to either serve the church or just for a hobby, then find a husband and have lots of kids. So, here comes me and I have no intention of ever being a housewife, do not plan to have any more kids, and want to go as far as I can as far as my career goes. They disapprove of this, of course. If we run into each other, I pretend that I don't know them and they don't know me. Crazy. My mom's side is very normal, but I have never spoke with them. They live in Korea, don't speak English, and I don't speak Korean. I know that this is a long post, but good god just thinking about this family of mine, just grates on me. Good to know I am not the only one with a messed up family. And I have to agree that Kevin's story surprised even me. Seems like it is straight out of a soap opera.
Nov 30, '02Occupation: New RN Grad... Just passed NCLEX.. Working on a Ortho floor Joined: Nov '01; Posts: 1,616; Likes: 37Me and my husband are about 450 miles away from our family, and at first I thought it was gonna be hard to be that far away.. But guess what it isn't... I love my family but they are a lil messed up..
I love my mom but for some reason we can't be around each other for long periods of time without butting head... hell I get along with my mother in law better than I do my mom... I am a total daddys girl, so there is nothing wrong with daddy..
I love my brother, get along fine with him.. But not so much with his lil B**** of a fiance...
Nov 30, '02Joined: Dec '01; Posts: 3,165; Likes: 59I have a psycho brother who, if he ever started talking to me again, would make me think he'd perfected his assassination plot against me ; and a sister who lives far, far away, in a galaxy ...
er, I mean, somewhere in CA, who left home about 30 years ago and I've seen twice since.
My cousin is a REAL lunatic. She insists that I'm delusional and refuses to talk to me.
Mother was the inspiration for Edith Bunker.
And Dad? hmmm....well, Mom used to say that he was a "genius," which was supposed to move his brand of craziness to the right side of "eccentric." But he's been staggering along that line for so many years, I'm not going to label him now.
Maybe I am a lil crazy too, because I still love 'em all.... *sigh*...just can't be within a few miles of any one of them for more than 5 minutes...Last edit by Sleepyeyes on Nov 30, '02
Nov 30, '02Occupation: Diabetes educator, Telephone triage Specialty: 31 year(s) of experience in Everything but psych! ; Joined: Jul '02; Posts: 1,265; Likes: 26A number of years ago, I heard about a family theory that I really relate to. I wish I could recall who it came from. The theory went like this: In every family there are a number of roles that different family members serve in. There is always a feeler, a decider, a go-between who tries to keep balance, and the distant child who tries to make up for their absence by making sure the care is beyond belief. I met every one of them. The most difficult was the distant child. They are the ones who won't do anything for the parent except demand for more things from the nursing staff. i.e....Mother's blanket needs to be pulled up. Mom needs a drink of water. In other words, things that they would do, if they were anyone else. It was the distant child that burned me out in med/surg. Thankfully, there's always another area of nursing. And my hat is off to you med/surg nurses. It's not easy!
Nov 30, '02Occupation: returned nurse Joined: Nov '98; Posts: 7,097; Likes: 5,234Anyone that expects to get along with their entire family is bound to fail. Those are very high expectations.
Nov 30, '02Joined: Apr '01; Posts: 154; Likes: 1Well I am glad to know I am not only one that comes from dysfunctional family. Some of stories are sad.. My relationship with my stepfamily can be summed up briefly... My father passed away in January of this - nobody told me until the end of March. Even at that found out thru the grapevine. Pathetic..