Crabbit Old Woman

[snoopy29]

on my very first day in nursing school back in the dark ages my nurse tutor gave each of us a copy of the poem below. it had a profound effect on me - at 18 i thought anyone over 25 was past it and had never really considered the history behind each and every elderly patient. to this day it impacts on my practice. i am sure many of you are familiar with it but for those of you who haven't read it the poem was discovered in the belongings of a long term patient on an elderly care ward after she died. there is a nurses reply but i don't think i can paste it because of copyright

[color=#800040]"crabbit old woman"

[color=#800040]what do you see, what do you see?

are you thinking, when you look at me-

a crabbit old woman, not very wise,

uncertain of habit, with far-away eyes,

who dribbles her food and makes no reply

when you say in a loud voice,

i do wish you'd try.

who seems not to notice the things that you do

and forever is loosing a stocking or shoe.

who, unresisting or not; lets you do as you will

with bathing and feeding the long day is fill.

is that what you're thinking,

is that what you see?

then open your eyes,

nurse, you're looking at me.

i'll tell you who i am as i sit here so still!

as i rise at your bidding, as i eat at your will.

i'm a small child of 10 with a father and mother,

brothers and sisters, who loved one another-

a young girl of 16 with wings on her feet,

dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet,

a bride soon at 20- my heart gives a leap,

remembering the vows that i promised to keep.

at 25 now i have young of my own

who need me to build a secure happy home;

a woman of 30, my young now grow fast,

bound to each other with ties that should last;

at 40, my young sons have grown and are gone,

but my man's beside me to see i don't mourn;

at 50 once more babies play around my knee,

again we know children, my loved one and me.

dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,

i look at the future, i shudder with dread,

for my young are all rearing young of their own.

and i think of the years and the love that i've known;

i'm an old woman now and nature is cruel-

tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.

the body is crumbled, grace and vigor depart,

there is now a stone where i once had a heart,

but inside this old carcass, a young girl still dwells,

and now and again my battered heart swells,

i remember the joy, i remember the pain,

and i'm loving and living life over again.

i think of the years all too few- gone too fast.

and accept the stark fact that nothing can last-

so open your eyes, nurse, open and see,

not a crabbit old woman, look closer-

see me.

[color=#800040]

[color=#800040]

[XB9S, BSN, MSN, EdD, RN, APN]

Is has been posted a few times previously with the reply so I think it's fine. I too was given a copy as a student nurse

http://www.devlin-family.com/crabbitoldwoman.htm

A Nurse's reply "To the 'Crabbit Old Woman"

What do we see, you ask, what do we see?

Yes, we are thinking when looking at thee!

We may seem to be hard when we hurry and fuss,

But there's many of you, and too few of us.

We would like far more time to sit by you and talk,

To bath you and feed you and help you to walk.

To hear of your lives and the things you have done;

Your childhood, your husband, your daughter, your son.

But time is against us, there's too much to do -

Patients too many, and nurses too few.

We grieve when we see you so sad and alone,

With nobody near you, no friends of your own.

We feel all your pain, and know of your fear

That nobody cares now your end is so near.

But nurses are people with feelings as well,

And when we're together you'll often hear tell

Of the dearest old Gran in the very end bed,

And the lovely old Dad, and the things that he said,

We speak with compassion and love, and feel sad

When we think of your lives and the joy that you've had,

When the time has arrived for you to depart,

You leave us behind with an ache in our heart.

When you sleep the long sleep, no more worry or care,

There are other old people, and we must be there.

So please understand if we hurry and fuss -

There are many of you,

And so few of us.

[Crux1024]

Ive never read either of them before now.

Thank you.

[HmarieD]

Now I'm all teared up... really beautiful, thank you.

[studentdan]

Awh, I like both these poems.

Thank's for posting!

[gingereh]

Our instructor in an older adult class read the original poem to us just last week and it made me get teary. I didn't know about the nurse's reply, which is also beautiful. Thank you for posting it.

[emnicams]

We received that poem on our first day of orientation in nursing school, but I had never read the nurse's reply before. Both are wonderful and thanks for posting!