C'mere and share your on-the-job laughs! - page 2

family wants patient dc'd asap, they say. they're tired, patient is tired and what is the holdup anyway. where is this doc, that doc, the other doc. we're just frustrated because we all want to... Read More

  1. by   Ann RN
    I had a patient named "Mary". Mary had a femoral sheath in with TPA infusion. Mary was VERY sensitive to narcotics. About 30 minutes after 1mg of IV dilaudid we found her trying to get OOB. I asked her "Mary, do you know what could happen if you do that again?" She replied "Yes, I do. Bye bye Mary"!
  2. by   whipping girl in 07
    Reminds me of a pt I had back when I was a fairly new nurse. 18-20 yo kid, 2nd gen Vietnamese (parents spoke very little English). MVA, did something to one of his knees and had a closed head injury. One night I was having trouble keeping his knee immobilizer on, so I wrapped it in an entire roll of tape. He had it off again within half an hour (kept him too busy to climb out of bed, though, lol). Every time someone (anyone, a nurse, family member, lab, etc) walked in his room, he'd ask for a kiss. The family was just mortified, but most of the staff just laughed. A couple of the guy nurses got offended, and one of them said something like, "Do you really want to kiss a guy?" To which he replied, "Well, how about a cheek kiss?" Only it sounded more like cheap kiss, so after that, we always asked that nurse for a cheap kiss.

    I still laugh about it every time I think about that nurse or that patient!
  3. by   ++Jade++
    Patient has extreme edema in the vulvar area, c/o severe pain and discomfort when her thigh rub again the area. MD order: "KY Gel to labia at all time. ":smackingf
    I have to laugh.
  4. by   southern_rn_brat
    Quote from EarthChild1130
    When I worked mental health, had a pt. who would come in for what she called 'tuneups' every 6 months or so...well, she'd been forced in this time for calling the police ALL the time and accusing her neighbors of cutting up bodies and putting them in her trash can outside...anyhow, after a couple of days she was a little calmer, but she was fully aware of and educated about her illness, and she would come to the desk at night and say things like 'Do you hear any music? Because I hear 'Amazing Grace' being sung' or something like that...and I would reassure her that I didn't hear anything, and off she'd go back to bed...well, ONE night she came running to the desk, and said 'I want you to come to my room...I hear men laughing!' I walked down the hall with her, into her room, and stood there listening for a second, and opened my mouth to reassure her that, no, I didn't hear any men talking, when I HEAR a male voice say 'I've almost got it, John!' Well, I nearly jumped out of my skin, and she said 'O my god, are you turning schizophrenic too?' (I laughed about THAT line later) I ran up to the desk and called the switchboard to tell them we heard voices in a patient's room...they thought I was kidding (their phone screen showed 'Psychiatric Services') and only after I called the House Supervisor did she say 'O geeze, I forgot to tell you that there would be guys working on the air conditioning system tonight!'

    I can't wait to get back to working mental health...I sure do miss it! Never a dull moment!!

    This made me almost pee
  5. by   Fairemaid
    I had to look twice because I couln't believe my eyes, when I went to sign off the inhaler med for my pt, the previous nurse had written the pt's blood pressure under her initials. Showed my resource and asked, "Since when did we have bp parameters for the Albuterol?"

  6. by   nrsang97
    Last night at work we had a family who was requesting a private room. Pt is vented, Large, on many drips. We had moved him to a new room. After we moved him to the new room we had to move him to a larger bed. (Pt 388# was on regular bed and no room to turn an immobile person of that size) After we got him on a larger bed after a bath we were putting a new clean set of linen under him and we decided since the fecal bag was SOOO full we would just take it off. One of the other nurses dedided to remove it and poop went flying onto the aide. We laughed for about 15 minutes while we got him straightened out onto the new bed. The poop made the fecal bag come apart. This guy had that nasy GI bleed poop too. I think his wife was wondering what was taking us so long to get him bathed and moved onto a new bed. I was still laughing about this when I saw the aide later. I am sure it was way more funny to me than it was to him.
  7. by   all4schwa
    I was told in report the patient had summer teeth.
    Oh yeah?
    Yeah, some are there. Some aren't.
  8. by   Indy
    We had a neuro overflow pt, with CHF to boot, not mobile thank goodness. He made a lot of inappropriate comments to the staff, and we couldn't decide if it was the head injury or just how he was.

    Until I went in to help his nurse turn him. I am short, cute and dressed in pink. His nurse is 6 foot, tall, and big boned, and male. The patient looks right at his nurse and says "you're the prettiest thing I've ever seen." His nurse didn't miss a beat, says "you obviously been here too long!" Patient says, "oh my, where am I?" Nurse: "Not in prison, that's for sure!"
  9. by   Antikigirl
    I too have sooooooo many!

    Lets see...100 degree day in my area, and working in an ALF/LTC...so with all the heaters on because geris like their heat...oh lets say 103 with humidity! LOL!

    Anywhoooo...a little confused old lady came into the dining room and had forgotten her shirt and bra (how she made it through the halls I will not know.).

    We caught that one quickly and escorted her nicely to her room. Half way back she realized what she forgot and was very embarrest! Myself and two CNAs (my best friends!) told her "HOney...you are just creating a fashion statement we staff would like to implement on a day like today...you go girl!". LOL!

    She felt better, but just in case, we hung a bra on her door knob for the next few days as a reminder! LOL!
  10. by   Antikigirl
    Another funny one from my ALF days!

    SO we had this lady who was an excape artist! She wanted to go to ALaska (yes confused), and kept packing her bags...never forgetting her white sweater for the cold Alaskan days!

    One day..she got out (well she had before, but this time was the cake!). She waited till one of the garden staff left his riding lawn mower...got on...its keys were in, and put her bag on the back, the white sweater down on the seat, and took off! I guess she got about 3 blocks before police found her!

    But cool thing...she was going NORTH! LOL!!!!!!!!!
  11. by   pcicurn7
    i had a 5 year old who was s/p pacemaker placement. She HATED coming for check ups, and would do everything in her power to hide (under chairs, in the closet, under the sink). One day i came into the room, and this little child had managed to hide in a space about 6 inches wide, 3 feet deep (while her mother talked on the phone, of course....). I said, "ok missy, time to come out". She screamed at the top her lungs "I HATE YOU! stop HURTING me!". The entire building heard it.

    Fast forward a few months...same little girl comes to the office with a shaved spot on top head. I said "so, what happened?" Gives me a shy face...then "well, i wanted to look like Dr. M" (her doctor, who is balding).

    Poor mom. She's got quite a handful.
  12. by   nservice
    I was working on a telemetry floor and we had a patient who was S/P penectomy and transferred to our floor with C/O chest pain. In report the off-going nurse said, "He hasn't complained of any chest pain". One of the male nurses said, "I guess not...the last time he complained they cut his d*** off! I spit coke across the table at that one.
  13. by   bethin
    When I worked LTC I had a pt who had a scooter. I was in the dining room feeding patients when I looked out the window. I did a double take. Fred was on his scooter headed for a retaining pond! I chased after him, trying to get him to come back and eat. I'm sure it looked funny to the passerby's on the road. I ended up tripping over a hole and he got away. I found him headed towards the local McDonald's because he didn't like the food that was served in the LTC. Had to have the police pick him up.

    He did it again the next week. This time he headed for KFC. He also scooted to the liquor store two blocks away. Can we say scooting while drunk??