blended families

ShandyLynnRN, BSN, RN · Jan 19, 2003

renerian, I don't. Its just me and the kiddo right now, with no prospects. . But I have thought about this, as in the case that I do ever find someone else, he will probably already have his own child(ren). I think it will be hard for me to accept those children as my own, and honestly, I don't always LIKE other people's kids. I guess I will have to cross that bridge when I get to it, and if the man of my dreams has kids, I will hope and pray that they are well behaved! Don't get me wrong, I love children, I just don't have much patience with MY OWN child sometimes, and am afraid that it will be even more difficult to be patient with one that isn't mine.

RNConnieF · Jan 19, 2003

I live in a blended family, two mine, one his (who lived with us) and one ours. It did not go well, his daughter REALLY resented me and mine-she had always been an only child-she lived with us for 10 years and between her and her mother I thought I would lose my mind. I really AM NOT the wicked witch of the East. Funny, after 10 years of being blamed for EVERYTHING wrong with this child she went to live with her mother; she lasted 3 months before her mother sent her packing: so I guess I'm not as bad as they said. Some times it gets better, some times you can't win this fight, only you know which one you are in. Good Luck. Connie

simao pt · Jan 19, 2003

Forgive me for my ignorance but ... what is a blended family?

simao pt · Jan 19, 2003

Originally posted by RNConnieF
I live in a blended family, two mine, one his (who lived with us) and one ours.

Ok, now i Know what a blended family is. We live and we learn...

Keely-FutureRN · Jan 19, 2003

I also live in a blended family. One of my sisters and myself are from a previous marriage. I have a younger (half) sister and have a step dad. Everything works out okay, it's a little awkward at times (step- aunt, step-cousin, half uncle) but it works out okay.:)

Keely

luluann · Jan 19, 2003

I sorta lived in a blended family with a twist. My "stepfather" is/was also my uncle. He was married to my Mom's sister, then they got divorced and after my Dad died, he & my Mom started socializing together. Next thing we all knew they were getting married. Kinda funny, my cousins are also my "stepsiblings". We all still refer to ourselves as cousins though, because we were all adults (or almost adults in my case) when he and Mom got married.

sphinx, BSN, RN · Jan 19, 2003

Yeah, I have a complicated sort of family. I have 2 kids, each from a different man (1st 2 marraiges were wash-outs). Met my current husband, who has become a wonderful step dad to both my boys, esp my oldest who has no contact with his dad. (it's taken longer with my youngest, who sees his dad often). Now, since I met my husband, I'd never met his son from his previous marraige (custody/visitation issues). This summer, after over 4 years, he all of a sudden was given visitation rights, and his son now visits every other weekend. A good think for sure, but a very difficult situation, and hard to adjust to. Esp as his son (8) and my son (10) fight terribly when they are together. It's hard cuz he already knows and loves my kids, and I don't know his son at all, and not sure I even like him. He has issues, that's for sure. My husband tends to try and compensate for lost time, and most everything gets blamed on my youngest son, whether or not he was the one at fault, or instigating, whatever. My son is in therapy, and this week, my husband is coming with us, to discuss some expectations and ground rules.

No one said it'd be easy!! *sigh*

yms yms rn · Jan 19, 2003

We are a blended family of 6:eek: teenagers; 3 girls 16, 17, and 18, and 3 boys 14, 14, 16. My husband and I decided (wisely) to not have any kids together because we felt it would not be fair to the ones we already had. He had 2 girls and 2 boys and I had one of each.

The kids get along pretty good for the most part--they act just like brothers and sisters that have grown up together, and we never refer to any of them as "steps". His kids live with their Mom about 8 blocks away and are welcome anytime as well as for the traditional visitation weekends.

The biggest problem is that with 3 girls in the house, someone is always pre-menstrual. Also the boys are at the age where the testosterone surges sometimes get the best of them!

We think that the reason things have worked so well for us so far, is that we both come from large, working-class families and have a strong work ethic. We have the same standards of behavior for all the kids and never have had an argument about whether or not a punishment is warranted, or appropriate. :nono:

It does take alot of communication though to keep us on the same page...they do out-number us!

YMS YMS RN

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jan 19, 2003

Originally posted by simao pt
Forgive me for my ignorance but ... what is a blended family?

Hi, a blended family is a truly modern phenomen. With the high divorce rate in the US, people are re-marrying each other and bringing their children into the new marriage, thus "blending the families.".

The ultimate example was above, when each partner brings children into the new marriage and then has their own child. Now that's blended.

My sister has a blended family, she has a child from her first marriage and so does her husband. The four of them have made a new family. Fortunately it really works well. The four of them get along fabulously.

luvrn · Jan 19, 2003

Blended her also, daughter from previous marriage (21) his 3 kids (18) (13) (9) and one together (3), oh and a 4yr old granddaughter. It was hard at times when the 2 youngest of his lived with us....His middle child could do no wrong and that was the biggest problem and it stemmed more that whatever the other 2 of his did, they were at fault. Took a lot of time and other people to make him see he was favoring her. The other thing with my oldest he used to say she always got what she wanted (he was right but he was sarcastic about it) but know that his oldest is that way....I tend to rub it in too.....he takes the ribbing good....but all in all......a pretty happy bunch!!!!!

renerian, BSN, RN · Jan 19, 2003

Thank you everyone for replying to my post. I have two bio kids 22 and 20 who are off in college and live in another city. They are the joys in my life! My son is in nursing school and my dtr is studying to be a genetic researcher! Cool huh! Hubby and I have custody of his three kids, one just moved out almost 20, dtr 18 who has an eating disorder, social anxiety disorder and a panic disorder who we have to home school by court order as she refused to go to school (panics) and son 15. My stepdaughter has stolen my possessions and pawned them, breaks my things and lies like you would not believe. She is very smart though and was accepted in Ohio University and due to leave in August. I appreciate all your posts explaining your situations.

renerian