Are You Popular At Work?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Do your coworkers like you and like working with you?

Why? Why not?

Do you care one way or the other?

I dislike many, tolerate most of the rest and really don't care if I am liked or not. It is a pity that I work somewhere where their isn't a single coworker I would like to be friends with. It wasn' like that in other places; but, I have to pay the price for having a good income, decent hours and never a holiday or weekend.

BTW, what I think really matter is that the patients seem to like me and I receive great scores on the surveys from them.

You sound like me. There are many people I like ok but I still think they are lazy and rude, loud, bossy, obnoxious. I tolerate them. The trouble is, I do care if I'm liked or not, as it could come down to a safety issue. I want them to help me if I need help, you know? Just as I will help them if they need it, if I possibly can, like them or not. But it will be easier to help someone I like than someone I dislike.

I want friends, just don't seem anymore to know how to make any. I keep to myself a lot, don't voice opinions much, just do my job - unless someone is rude to patients or is hiding out or is taking excess breaks and shirking work. Then I do speak up. Very dangerous. Poor outcomes from doing so, usually. I can't wait to retire, God, I can hardly wait!

I am not popular. I get along well with everyone I work with, have no interpersonal conflicts with anyone, and people seem to respect the job I do. But socially, I usually eat lunch alone. I hear of my co workers having parties and such, and I'm not invited. When a group of people goes out after work, they don't really ask if I'd like to join. So ... I guess professionally, things are ok, but not personally.

I do care, kind of. It hurts a little to see people being so friendly and to be left out. I have to always remind myself that I have a life outside of work, so it doesn't matter so much.

This is in reference to Pagandeva being a confidante and a loner - I was a loner sometimes in my life and people always wanted to confide in me - I guess they hoped their secrets will be safer in a closed book...

Specializes in Psychiatric Nursing.

The word popular takes me back to flashbacks of highschool prom....

I believe I am generally well liked among my co-workers. With many of them I am able to laugh, joke, and generally have a more enjoyable time with at work. With everyone I try my hardest to be a team player and help out whoever needs it, you never know when you yourself will need a little extra support (no need to burn bridges). It is important to me that I get along with my co-workers; not so much because of a self esteem or confidence issue but when you get along you tend to communicate better and that is a win-win situation for all involved. Also considering how many hours of my life will be spent working I might as well make it as enjoyable as possible.

I haven't really given it much thought. I know people are glad to see me when I get to work and I know I tend to be preferred over many of the other staff because my coworkers and my manager have told me as much. I can't really say how much of that is because people like me versus that they like working with me though. It's nice when both are true but in my own experience, that isn't always the case.

I have coworkers I enjoy working with because they do a good job and I have coworkers who I enjoy spending time with because they have become friends. Some of my favorite people to work with I have little to no interest in beyond work. I like them as coworkers but they are not my friends. Some of my favorite people to hang out with, I really don't like working with at all (and they know this). One nurse comes to mind immediately--she's funny, smart, kind and just an all-around good person. I consider her a friend and we spend time together outside of work. I don't like working with her though because despite being a good person, she's a total spazz as a nurse and it makes things more difficult for those of us who work with her. It's not like she's trying to be difficult and we've all tried helping her but she struggles with prioritization and she doesn't handle stress well at all. Great person, not a great nurse.

Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

I try to get along with everybody at work - it's better for the patients, and it makes the shift pass by a lot more pleasantly. And I do have to say, when the **** hits the fan, we work together like a pretty well-oiled machine. Some of my coworkers I consider among my best friends.

But do I come to work specifically to make friends? Nope. Do I care if other coworkers do stuff together outside work and don't invite me? Nope. Do I care if I'm not in the 'in' crowd? Nope. I go to work, take care of my patients, and go home.

I am who I am, and if they like me, great, if not, oh well. I don't go out of my way to deliberately be difficult, but kissing butt is not in my repertoire either. :)

Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
You must not be perceived as a loner, though, if they are coming to you and confiding in you. Very interesting that your self-concept if that of a loner and others must be seeing you quite differently. It seems to be working, so it's not a bad thing, I think. It's just very interesting. you must be doing something right, PD.

Thank you for your positive observation...I take it as a compliment and appreciate it! Actually, I am perceived as being a loner. Most people say to me that they see that I mind my business, stay to myself and seem to enjoy my own company (all are true), so, I guess it makes it easier for them to confide in me because they may see that it doesn't go anywhere. In addition, I am not judgemental. I have opinions, yes, but I can see what makes many people think the way that they do, even if I don't agree with it. My father said something to me years ago that sticks to my head to this day..."The more you get to know people, the less you like them". I have no expectations based on title, social status or image, so, I am not ordinarily disappointed in people. I just don't want to be angry at them, myself, so, I limit time with them.

I had been working 7p-7a for six years, but in January changed to 7a-7p. Although I knew everyone on the day shift, if only in passing, I was concerned about how I would be accepted, especially since I was in charge most of the days I was there. About a month into my new shift, my boss told me that she had been asking around and everyone liked working with me.

I've always tried to be fair in everything, not micromanage, but always be available when people need help. It's not always possible, but I try.

Popular? I suppose. If popular means well liked and well known. But I don't do what I do to be popular, I do what I do in the best interest of the patients. Do I care that people like me? Sometimes, because I often find that people who don't like me don't know me and they like to cause trouble. If they just avoid me and I avoid them, that doesn't bother me. Then there are those who don't like me because I expect them to do their jobs correctly. But that's another topic altogether.

I do think it is lovely that she she told you that but wouldn't you have preferred some proper feedback?

Specializes in ICU, Telemetry.

None of us truly knows how we are perceived by others. But a couple of things did make me feel good. I was outside a room checking a chart when I overheard the patient and the CNA talking. Pt said, "Nerd's my nurse tonight, right? I like her." The CNA said, "Yes, and I like working with her. She's a hardworking nurse." I had pt that went bad in the middle of the night -- prior q2h neuro had been fine, pt had been sitting up in the bed putting curlers in her hair. Went in, pt is R side flaccid, pupil blown. I came screeching out of the room, yelling for them to call the neurologist, check for a bed in ICU, call the hospitalist, etc. I'm coming back down the hall with a whole suction setup (I tried the suction to make sure it was good, and the device part at the wall was busted), and I see the hospitalist run into the neurologist at the end of the hall. Hospitalist isn't moving all that fast, neurologist (who I'd talked to) is moving a little faster. Hospitalist says, "what's up, another false alarm?" Neurologist said, "Nerd called me at home." Hospitalist says, "damn, then something's really wrong with Mrs. X" and they both started walking faster. Unfortunately, as we were moving Mrs. X from our bed to the ICU bed she went into resp. arrest. They think she threw a major infarct in the brainstem. As awful as it was to lose someone who'd been in with a TIA who was talking to me, putting her hair up in curlers and was fine at 10 and dying at 12, it did make me feel better that when the doc heard I was the one hitting the panic button, it really meant something was wrong. Does that make any sense?

And if you're a "queen of the nursing station" nurse who wants to sit on her tail and not do anything, you probably don't like me at all. And I'd worry about the kind of nurse I was if you did.

OMG this reminds me of the first time I found out someone didn't like me. I was so devastated particularly because I really liked her and she had always been so nice to my face! I was gutted. You would have thought that I was a child then but in fact I was twenty.

I don't like the term popular much. I think I do OK with my team. Generally, I try very hard to treat people with respect and dignity. Sometimes the toys fall out of my stroller but if they do I make a point of seeking that person out and apologizing immediately. If I got snippy with someone in front of a colleague I will also apologize in front of people.

And if you're a "queen of the nursing station" nurse who wants to sit on her tail and not do anything, you probably don't like me at all. And I'd worry about the kind of nurse I was if you did.

Nice!

It never takes more than a month for me to be questionable. And then by about month 3, I'm out. I don't do cliques well. I don't get women. I am friendly and helpful but I don't even know how to begin playing that game of fitting in. I can never figure out who's a** to kiss and grovel isn't in my repetoire. I watch others fit in and they know how to look sad and "take it" when an Alpha female of the clique is being mean to them. We swap stories in the break room, us newbies. If I could figure it out, I would do it. When someone is being an a**, my eyes are so revealing. I know I read like, "are you really gonna be like that?" Anyway, wish it was all about, can we work together to get this job done. But I am conviced nursing is never going to be about that. Because the bullies get in and take charge and run the floors and the managers. Seen it too many times.

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