Am I too emotional?

ernurse728, LPN · Jul 9, 2002

Emotion is must have I think to be a good nurse. But you also have to realize that not every patient or situation is going to cause you to shed a tear. Take for instance the 45yo man who comes into the ER via ambo, is drunk out of his mind, screaming all sorts of profanity, causing a scene and then decides to lean over and throw up on the floor! Now yes...that may make some people cry...but I don't think that is the kind of emotion you are speaking of. There are definitely times when you have to hold back the tears...it happens to me everytime we have a SIDS baby come, or a child that has been abused. I think that being emotional helps you fight for your patients rights. And in the end that is what matters!

mario_ragucci · Jul 9, 2002

It has to be about emotions. If it's not about emotions, why bother? Emotions are linked to EVERYTHING you do, unless you've had some sort of lobodomy, or psycho-surgery. Recall the anatomy of the human brain and where the limbic.sys is. It's right in the center of EVERYTHING, deep within. Right? Having emotions are as essential as breathing, or digestion is. Passion, emotions, fear....all that is part of every synapse, for me anyway. Only my autonomic nervous.sys, and part of my sympathetic.sys are devoid of emotions because they are more or less connected to my lower brain. We're all the same in the brain right? (wrong)

Other folks, I understand, love to mask their emotions, but they can't deny them.

Be proud of your emotions because they are your/our core. You have a warm cardiac muscle, and don't ever let it get cold. Amen!

Home Health Columnist / Guide · Jul 9, 2002

Watched The Horse Whisperer tonight on TV and was tearried throught. Can cry at the drop of a hat. Husband says my emothions are on my sleeve. But have learned to develop toughness to handle some of the bad times. Learned that it IS OKAY to cry AND laugh with your patients.

But I've insisted and insisted, and persisted.... and I didn't back down...

That tenacity will serve you well in nursing school. Welcome nrs2bme. Enjoy your classes, even just for the sake of learning.

OrthoNutter · Jul 9, 2002

Originally posted by NRSKarenRN
Watched The Horse Whisperer tonight on TV and was tearried throught. Can cry at the drop of a hat. Husband says my emothions are on my sleeve. But have learned to develop toughness to handle some of the bad times. Learned that it IS OKAY to cry AND laugh with your patients.

I watched The Patriot (Mel Gibson, not Steven Seagall one) a couple of nights ago and I'm glad I watched it on video because I hate crying in the cinema. My boyfriend just sniffed a little when Gabrielle died but by then I had tears pouring down my cheeks and my nose was all snotted up. And I'm no different at work either when something awful happens...but thankfully that usually comes as an aftermath in the staff loo or in the car on the way home. lol

live4today, RN · Jul 9, 2002

Watch the movie "PATCH ADAMS", and you'll never feel the same way about the healing touch of an emotionally alive health professional again. If you can invision yourself as a nurse, and you feel a "direct calling" in your life to become one...you will be one...and that's no lie! :kiss :nurse:

thisnurse · Jul 9, 2002

dont worry, a cpl of "fluff my pillows" and "change the channel for me" and your emotions will change

micro, RN · Jul 9, 2002

Don't ever give up having tried..........nrs2be.........

do not anybody and even yourself and preconceived idea thwart your ideas of what you want to be.....

I was in my second life myself when I said, hey....this is what i want to do.......

and even though I have seen the negative side of nursing in eleven years now.....I would not trade it for the world......

to have the ability, the knowledge and the caring to touch another person and make a difference in their life.......

as in another thread ..... it is difficult to exactly quantify what a nurse does do .........but boy without us.........

sad shape for anybody in any need.......

go for it.......

if you do wear your heart on your sleeve.........do it.....

this will change a bit in time.......

I cannot say that I deflect all the emotions of what I do, but I do keep a point of detachment.....it just comes with time.........

go for it................

micro and out

jurbyjunk · Jul 9, 2002

Nrs2bme, don't ever feel badly about caring about your patients. Or about crying for them.

In 1996, my son walked into a room where some a$$hole had combined bleach and ammonia together and hadn't bothered to put a sign on the door. My son inhaled and wound up with chemical burns to the upper lobes of his lungs. In 1997, he was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer due to "severely traumatized tissue" in the upper lobes of his lungs. Every three weeks, he underwent 36 hours of chemo, with the result that the tumors shrank to within operable size. Unfortunately, post-5th chemo treatment, he got a "little cut" and died within 6 hours, from necrotizing fasciitis, one week exactly after my birthday. He died in the operating room, just as he was being intubated. Eric was 29 yrs 1 month and 1 day old. He was engaged to be married. It's not true that the heart doesn't break, some hurts never heal, they just scab over.

The circulating nurse, Soma, told me that, when Eric came into the OR, she said "Hi Eric, my name's Soma. I'm going to take care of you". When his heart began fibrillating, she said that she "held his hand so that he wouldn't be alone. I promised him that I would take care of him". And she held my hand too, when I was all alone, and she cried with me. I will NEVER, up to and past the moment of my own death, forget her and the love that she gave to my son. The nurse in the emergency department cried and hugged me as well, when I went back and told her.

Two days after my son's military funeral (I am a PROUD mother of a "Duke of Connaught's Own" - "Up The Dukes"), I went to pick up my "stress leave" papers from work. A friend of mine said, come for coffee. We sat at a table with 2 other nurses, 1 of them was the nurse who had given Eric his very first chemo treatment. I'm all in black and she's giving me the eye. My friend said "Katherine had a death in her family. Her son died". This person looked at me and said "well, what did you expect? He was sick you know". I will never ever forget her and that, when my heart hung on my sleeve, she kicked it.

adrienurse, LPN · Jul 9, 2002

I don't think you need to second guess yourself. Nurses need to be emotional people who have the ability to empathize with their patients. This is a key part of the job. As you complete your training, you're going to grow a lot emotionally. The important thing is to know where to draw the line between caring for your patients and caring for yourself. This requires learning how to keep an emotional distance. As long as you learn how to do this you'll thrive and be just fine. Good luck!

Furball · Jul 9, 2002

Every once in awhile we get a terminal on our tele floor. I remember one ENT pt a few weeks back......the tumors were out of control...raging...inoperable...on hospice. She was very afraid of dying.

I had walked her into the BR...she was constipated. Once down on the toilet she just started bawling. Trached...couldn't talk, severely HOH. but mouthed "I'm scard" and started sobbing again. I knelt down..hugged her..rubbed her back...and damn it I cried too. I could hear the intercom outside the room calling me for phone calls but I ignored them until she got it out of her system. (and I don't mean just the poop) Walked her back to her bed..she SMILED..patted my back and mouthed an unmistakeable "thank-you". Emotions are what connect us as human beings.....don't douse the flame.

During a crises situation...your adrenalin kicks in and you are "ON" for the duration......you'll be suprised when your emotions tend to get blunted during crises...but you cry after the fact.....like when you're driving home from work.

You'll make a great nurse! Keep working hard and don't give up!

SharkadelicRN · Jul 9, 2002

One of my very first days in clinicals the patient I had, had just been given a prognosis of 2 days left to live. I was terrified to walk in that room. When I did, most of her family were around the bed, and many of them in tears. I stayed long enough to get my vital signs and walked out in tears. I spent most of the day crying, wondering how I could do this. I offered as much support as a student could give to the family. When I left, this pt's son-in-law came out to tell me thank you for all I had done for them, and I really felt like I had done nothing but be a cry baby most of the day.

This pt was dying from cancer, the same thing that took my father's life. So everytime I walked in the room, I saw my dad lying there. My clinical instructor had me talk to one of the nurses. She asked me if my dad had been treated well while he was in the hospital. I told the nurse's had been fabulous. Her advice: then be that wonderful nurse for this family and this pt. That helped me alot.

The next day I talked to my semester coordinator and told her how much it affected me. She had received some great advice from a doctor that she shared with me: the day you don't cry when a pt is dying or dies is the day you shouldn't be a nurse anymore.

I graduated this past December. I now work in the ICU. My first patient I lost was VERY emotional for me. It was not a peaceful death which made it hard. It was almost time for visiting when she started coding. As the family was just getting to her door, I had to close the curtains in their face and ask them to step outside. I know they saw the panic in my face. I had to leave the code a couple of times because I couldn't deal with the emotions I was feeling. The next time I saw the family, I was with the doctor as he was telling them we lost their mother. I got their mother ready for them to see her and cried right along with them when they came in to see her. In fact, I cried for 2 days. The next day my coworkers would ask how I was doing and the tears would just start.

It's gotten easier, but I still cry when I lose a pt. I cry when I see family members crying. I cry when I see something that touches my heart. It's OK to be emotional. Don't lose that. That's what makes you special. Good luck in nursing school.

mother/babyRN, RN · Jul 10, 2002

Someone will always try to tell you that being "too emotional" somehow gets in the way of being a good nurse..Wrong. First of all, by whose measurement is "too emotional?" Secondly, that is a big part of what makes a nurse a good nurse. Nothing wrong with crying or emoting with a patient. Each pt touches you to the core somehow, and molds you into the nurse you will eventually be.

I have always wondered why people try to separate emotion from nursing. Perhaps people less inclined to show their feelings are fearful of their own vulnerable humanity....Just be yourself, who EVER you are. If you love nursing, we need you....