"Honey"

Nurses General Nursing

Published

After seeing coworkers call 85 year old women honey, and after being called honey by people my age (I'm only 23) I'm pretty much ready to puke. Do people really not know how patronizing that is? I just got out of lab and was ready to choke the little 20 year old know it all who insisted on calling me honey as she incorrectly corrected me. Am I alone in this?

Okay, I'm an oooooold guy, 60 this year. IMHO calling a patient honey or sweetie when they are over 5 years old and don't live with you is demeaning. I can't remember names either, I've been in mental health nursing since 1970 and have learned to forget names when I walk out the door! I have found an alternative to calling someone honey or sweetie, I use the simple words "Sir" and "Ma'am". In over 30 years of nursing only 2 patients have complained about it. Both said basically the same thing: You're taking care of me and you're well educated. It doesn't feel right when you call me sir. Just my 2 cents worth. And if I might be so bold as to suggest it to anyone who has the habit of calling everyone honey or sweetie, try using Sir or Ma'am instead. Just seems more polite.

Specializes in ER/Trauma.
And if I might be so bold as to suggest it to anyone who has the habit of calling everyone honey or sweetie, try using Sir or Ma'am instead. Just seems more polite.
I do that with everyone (even over the phone).

Sometimes, someone would complain "Do I look/sound that old to you :( ?"

I just apologise and say "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. That's just how I was raised. How do you prefer/How would you like to be called?"

cheers,

Specializes in Critical Care, Pediatrics, Geriatrics.
I do that with everyone (even over the phone).

Sometimes, someone would complain "Do I look/sound that old to you :( ?"

I just apologise and say "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. That's just how I was raised. How do you prefer/How would you like to be called?"

cheers,

That's the best approach sometimes, because no matter how good your intentions may be...someone is always going to get offended. You just have to apologize and move on.

I use terms of endearment with some patients to show familiarity...to me it's warmer than Mr. or Mrs., especially if you've worked with the patient enough to have some sort of rapport or relationship with him or her. I don't think saying "Hi, hon, how are you feeling?" is condescending, nor has anyone ever indicated to me that it bothers them.

Specializes in PICU, ED, Infection Control, Education, cardiology.

Being a male in the nursing field I have never called anyone "honey" or anything of that sort. But I do agree that it is like nails on a chalk board even if it is good intentioned.

Specializes in community health, LTC, SNF, Tele-Health.

Ugh that happens all the time.. the worst part is you catch yourself repeating it! I started making sure that I addressed patients Mr/Mrs/Ms____ all the time and introduced myself as Nurse Tracie or Miss.___(insert last name) and people almost always respond the right way, they start calling you by your first name or Ms. whatever instead of "hun or sweetie". Maybe just me experience but it worked for me. I think because I was very professional they reacted appropriately. I let elderly patients slide sometimes because of the memory impairment.

Specializes in Medical Telemetry, LTC,AlF, Skilled care.

Honey has never bothered me, I do have a habit of calling my female residents/patients either honey or ladybug. In my area, terms of endearment are used by and for almost everyone. Just depends on the person I guess

Specializes in ER, Med/Surg.

I caught myself calling a teenage girl "sweetie" last week. I only got "sweet..." out, before I caught myself and cut off. I usually don't do that.

She was just in pitiful shape, reminded me of my daughter I guess.

Specializes in Peds.

Hi,

To grown adults - I tend to not use terms of endearment.

Sometimes elderly folk have used that term when refering to me - but I don't mind. LOL, at their age, it's probably their right!

Being a male in the nursing field I have never called anyone "honey" or anything of that sort.
I use terms of endearment with 'my' kids all the time :)

Thanks,

Matthew

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