"Can I speak to you for a second?"

[Tait]

Alright, let me preface this by saying, we all get mad, frustrated, irritated, and down right "let me punch something" mad over work. It happens, but by all that is holy do we always have to pull someone into another room every time our feelings get hurt?

Yeah I am frustrated. I work with someone who is consistently pulling this nurse or that nurse into the break room to discuss some sleight, off hand comment, reason for an assignment.

I am honestly sick of it.

I have once, pulled someone aside and addressed an issue. It was my preceptor and I was under the assumption that she felt I was incompetent. After chatting I realized she just didn't get my sense of humor and wasn't sure how to communicate with me. After that day, all was fine.

However I am tired of this woman pulling me aside if I don't say "hello" each time I come in, or because I discussed a reason for an assignment with another staff.

We all have things to get over, but is it everyone's right to vent them every time the moment feels right? Maybe I am having a short sighted day, but to me it seems like a way to get out of thinking about why the situation makes you feel the way it does, and instead passes the blame onto someone else.

Tait

[oregonchinamom]

Sounds like a Drama Queen to me. If there is no crisis, by golly she will make one!

[gentle]

I have had a similar experience.. it may not work in your situation however worked fairly well for me. I would let her know "sure, I can speak with you, I have some things to do now however, but we will definitely talk later". Near the end of shift when I am winding down and finally have a little time, I will go back to her "did you have something you needed to talk to me about?". Sometimes they would, most they would just say it wasn't important anymore. The "can I speak to you" got less and less, yet at the same time, this person knew I was willing to talk when able and later in the shift.

Neat response, I appreciated it.

[crb613, BSN, RN]

I would tell her on the next...."can I speak to you for a second" moment......I am open & willing to discuss problems. You decide what you are willing to discuss & tell her. I will not however discuss every petty issue. I am pretty straight froward....I could not nor would I allow this person to involve me in the type of stuff.....set your limits or she will drive you nuts! Just my . Drama....leave me out!

[Batman24]

I'm sure it's insecurity and attention seeking on her behalf and it would get on my last nerve too. When you are working a busy 12 hour shift last thing you want to deal with is this petty nonsense.

If you aren't in charge you could tell her you are busy and will speak to her later when you have time. And if you are charge and have pressing issues to attend to ask her if it's an emergency or something that can wait. Put it back on her and see if she gets the hint that things that aren't emergencies don't always need prompt attention. And if it's over a hello I would let her know that it's not personal, you are busy, and mean no harm so she doesn't need to address this issue with you again. Be firm but polite.

[Tait, MSN, RN]

Thanks for the responses :)

I feel better about it :)

[Roy Fokker, BSN, RN]

A few thoughts:

* Do we like to get along with others and generally work in a peaceful, co-operative environment? Of course! Who wouldn't, right?

* Does it always happen? Of course not. Doesn't matter whose "fault" it is, there will always be some folks who don't have an opinion about you, some folks who dislike you but can tolerate you... and some folks, well; they just don't plain plumb like you.

It's human nature.

I have a couple of co-workers that I just don't get along with - their personality just sets my teeth on edge (and I have issues with some of their 'work ethic'). No doubt they have issues with me as well.

One co-worker remarked that 'someday, we'll learn to get along'. I told said co-worker that 'we're getting along just fine as it is' (Now, unless that co-worker's personality changes and adjustments are made to co-worker's work ethic, I sincerely doubt we'll ever get along.)

BUT...

This isn't a high school popularity contest. Everyone doesn't have to "like" each other.

This is work. I don't have to 'get along with you' in order to be able to do my job - I just have to be able to work together with you to get the job done.

Now, if our 'disagreement' interferes with work; then yes, we have a problem.

Until then, I don't really see what the issue is.

My

cheers,