Funny things your residents have said/done...

Published

I get so sick of looking at the downside to being a CNA (not bashing anyone here). I just thought of this thread idea that could be a bit funny....

To start this off...

1) I had a demented LOL who wanted a cigarette. I could not give her one because the last time said had a cigarette she set her own hair on fire. When I told her that I could not give her one (for several reasons), she replied "What the *ell kind of place is this?" That response earned her a hug!

2)I had a blind and bed-bound resident call me fat even though he had never touched me. How would he know I am fat?

3)Same above resident threatened to kick the a$$ of his PITA quad roommate. He roommate (I'm sorry to say) was a jerk so I would have paid money to see this!

I know there are more out there....the floor is yours...

During my clinicals, several of my classmates and I were in a resident's room (he has dementia) when I asked him if he was ready to take a shower. (He had indicated earlier in the day that he wanted to take a shower, but not at that moment.) I didn't think to have the others leave the room before I asked (we all kinda ended up there because several of the class were absent so we were all helping each other out and checking on other people's residents) and he said "That's all fine and dandy, but my wife would throw a sh*t fit if she walked in here and found me in the shower with 2 guys and 3 girls. Especially the girls. I done f*cked around on her once and she wasn't very happy about it."

It was hilarious.

During my clinicals, several of my classmates and I were in a resident's room (he has dementia) when I asked him if he was ready to take a shower. (He had indicated earlier in the day that he wanted to take a shower, but not at that moment.) I didn't think to have the others leave the room before I asked (we all kinda ended up there because several of the class were absent so we were all helping each other out and checking on other people's residents) and he said "That's all fine and dandy, but my wife would throw a sh*t fit if she walked in here and found me in the shower with 2 guys and 3 girls. Especially the girls. I done f*cked around on her once and she wasn't very happy about it."

It was hilarious.

Oh my god that is the best ! :lol2:

Specializes in LTC/Rehab.

I am 5'8 and quite thin. At the time I was wearing a short and dark hairstyle. One resident told me while I was empting out her trash bin...

"Oh, I saw you from behind and thought that you were a little boy!" :eek: :sniff:

My ego took a hit since that incident and I've been wearing my hair in a long style the past month, and also working on gaining a few pounds.

I guess real woman have curves!!

Specializes in LTC.

Aww, don't feel bad. I had a resident think I was a boy too and I am petite with a very large chest and shoulder-length hair.

Specializes in LTC.
Fuzzywuzzy please tell! You always have great posts too!:yeah:

I wish I could share, but I've already recognized one person on these boards- they haven't used the CNA forum but I've seen them in other sections and I am 100% sure I know who it is! It weirds me out.

That's pretty much the reason I don't put any positive things on here- the negative stuff is so widespread, but the positive things are not.

Specializes in LTC/Rehab.
Aww, don't feel bad. I had a resident think I was a boy too and I am petite with a very large chest and shoulder-length hair.

Petite female + large chest = Jealous me!:aln:

Resident breastfed her teddy bears because "they were hungry."

Our chapel is broadcast live on TV's for the residents who are bedbound. One day we were changing a bedbound resident while the service was going and heard a demented resident talking inappropriately and making strange noises loudly so that their voice echoed all around the chapel. No idea how she got in there as we are instructed to keep her out during the service! We ran in there LOL

Specializes in CNA: LTC.

I'm finishing up clinicals and the same resident asked me... "Want to be my intern?"

Every-time I see her she asks me that and gives me a smile. Feels awkward. lol.

Specializes in geriatrics, dementia, ortho.

I was helping one of my dementia residents get ready for bed and brush her teeth, and she looks in the mirror and goes "Well, I might be an ugly old woman, but BOY can I do a lot of work!". Cracked me up.

Another time, walked into the main bathroom to find two of my demented residents in there; a man desperately gesturing at me to 'get her outta here' and a woman who had somehow fished out a gigantic side-tab brief from the cupboard and was attempting to change him!:lol2: LOL. I started trying to guide her out the door and she holds up this enormous brief and says "It looks like it's ready to fly..." and she had a point; it definitely was big enough to be a kite.

Specializes in 6 yrs LTC, 1 yr MedSurg, Wound Care.

Mrs. C was complaining about having to stand on her hurt knee to go to the bsc.

She said, "This hurts. I need something for it."

I said, "Like ibuprofen."

She said, "No. You know the one that starts with an M."

I thought for a second, and said, "Motrin?"

She said, "No. Like dope."

I stood there with my jaw dropped and said, "Meth?!?"

With a bright face and happy smile she said, "Yeah!!"

Put Mrs. B in her recliner after breakfast and leaned her back. I got a pillow, walked over next to her and asked if she would like to have it. She said, "Not over my face!!!"

"Don't drink the tea, it'll make you go blind. That's what happened to me." *(She's not as blind as she says she is.)

Specializes in Psych, LTC/SNF, Rehab, Corrections.

Today...I was doing a last round on a combative resident. Meh...he's cool. Just doesn't care to be changed.

So, I told him to roll onto his back so that I could finish wiping and putting on the diaper. He did...while cursing up a storm. Told me to leave him 'the f** alone'.

I braced myself in case he decided to strike. Wiped him. Secured the diaper and pulled the sheets over him as I said, "Ok, Mr H --but, we gotta keep you clean...y'know? I know you don't want to be sleeping in doo-doo an pee all night..."

He yelled while facing the wall, his back to me, "LOOK - I CAN'T SLEEP IN PEACE, NO WAY. 'CAUSE EVERYTIME I TURN 'ROUND, YOU B..STARDS ARE DIGGIN' IN MY A**! DAY AND NIGHT, YOU'RE TRYNA DIG IN MY A**! WELL, WHATCHA IN'ERE LOOKIN' FOR, HUH? 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT I WANNA KNOW.... YOU LOOKIN' FOR A G*DD**N GENIE TO POP OUT OF IT?"

Then...

"GET OUTTA MY A**!"

I love the elderly....

*laugh*

My response: "Ok, sir...we're done...you can go back to sleep..."

I've honestly thought about the whole changing thing. We wake them up constantly to 'check for wetness'.

That would annoy me too, I guess.

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