Funny things your residents have said/done...

[yousoldtheworld]

LOL. One of my boys at work will hunt you down in his little motorized wheelchair when he needs changed and he'll just smile at you and say "CODE BROWN!!" Then he'll wheel back to his room and wait for you (he's only mildly mentally handicapped and has quite a sense of humor on him.)

He also recently turned 21...and since then he'll say "c'mon little lady, take me out to the bar. I'll buy you two drinks. I won't tell. We'll blame it on Bev. I'll puke on her shoes."

(Bev is this horrible aide that no one can stand.)

[pca_85]

LOL. One of my boys at work will hunt you down in his little motorized wheelchair when he needs changed and he'll just smile at you and say "CODE BROWN!!" Then he'll wheel back to his room and wait for you (he's only mildly mentally handicapped and has quite a sense of humor on him.)

He also recently turned 21...and since then he'll say "c'mon little lady, take me out to the bar. I'll buy you two drinks. I won't tell. We'll blame it on Bev. I'll puke on her shoes."

(Bev is this horrible aide that no one can stand.)

Doesn't it make you so sad to see residents younger than you-and I'm 26?

[yousoldtheworld]

It does...but most of my residents are younger than me, so it kind of comes with the territory. I work in a children's home - we do have adults too, but the majority are kids and young adults. Mostly severely developmentally disabled, a few are mentally fine but physically affected.

I have a 4 year old on my usual group. Cutest thing you'll ever see...but he breaks my heart because his parents are completely worthless. They dropped him off to us, his mom told us "Dont bother getting attached, he doesn't have a very long life expectancy" and left. That was over a year ago, they haven't been back. They also recently got arrested for having 4 meth labs in their house with their 4 other children. >:| When he got him he was so unaccustomed to human contact, that when you'd pick him up he'd curl into the fetal position. People are awful. >:|

LOVE my job though. Even when it does break my heart. I can't imagine working anywhere else!

[fuzzywuzzy, CNA]

(Bev is this horrible aide that no one can stand.)

We have a CNA that's really pushy and annoying. None of us can stand her and neither can any of the alert residents on my hall. When the residents find out she is their aide for the day they get all annoyed, so we make up rude names to call her behind her back. Mean but funny!

[yousoldtheworld]

HAHA, we do the same!

She's one of those people who constantly goes on and on about how no one works hard like she does, no one knows what they're doing, she calls herself a greyhound. There are nurses who refuse to work on her wing because of her. I refuse to work on her wing when she is off, because when she returns, she will spend an hour talking about everything I didn't do right (and then wonder why she is always the last to get her work done. )

Many people have quit because of her. It sounds like I'm exaggerating, but there is one person in the entire facility who can get along with her.

[fuzzywuzzy, CNA]

Wow. Maybe my annoying coworker moonlights at your facility. It's like that here too... her way or the highway. I get so sick of her constant monologue about what needs to be done and what other people didn't do. It's one thing to complain when the same people neglect to do the same things all the time but with her most of the stuff doesn't even matter. And when she's not criticizing others or planning out YOUR day for you she is offering a running commentary about the residents: "Oh you're giving Mary her breakfast? She likes to eat the cereal first." Oh. Hi. I guess I've been living under a rock the last 3 years!

At the same time she is constantly trying to worm her way out of doing work, she will not do anything that another aide is responsible for (ie she will never change someone else's residents while the other aide is busy or something) and she never misses the opportunity to make herself look good by throwing others under the bus.

[fuzzywuzzy, CNA]

It's hard to think of funny things to report on here because usually when someone says something funny or sweet I run and tell everybody at work and I don't want to give myself away if any of them read this! I have soooo many stories though.

[THELIVINGWORST, ASN, RN]

well once a resident insisted that I give him a bl**job and even already had taken off his pants. Another resident insisted that hot dogs were sandwiches and that she didn't want any bulls**t sandwiches, said resident also fought another resident over the tablecloth. One of my favorites said told another resident in the creepiest of voices that "you're going to die soon"....oh the joy

[yousoldtheworld]

Tonight, I was getting the boy I talked about in my last post here ready for bed. He has a huge crush on one of the other aides, I'll call her Sally. While I was getting him dressed, he said "Where's Sally??" I told him that she was down the hall putting the boys down there to bed. He said, "She's putting all of them to bed?" and I said yes.

He shook his head and said "What a whore!"

Of course I scolded him for using that language (he knows he's not supposed to), but I couldn't help but chuckle a little afterwards.

The other resident I was talking about, that I taught to call a nurse "gnooome"? Had a fun one with him today, too. As I said before, he has very limited speech. He is hard to understand and generally says only a few things - "I love you", "gnoooome", and "Amber", who is one of our nurses who has been there forever. Most everything else he says is very garbled and indecipherable.

Well, today I had him in the shower. We were talking about something another one of the residents had said and he was cracking up. I told him that he was just as sassy as the other boy, even if he didn't talk much. He laughed at that, and at the same time his foot hit the shower nozzle and it sprayed me right in the chest. He looked at my chest (he's been known as a boob man), looked at the other aide's chest (she has huge boobs), and said, plain as day, "HELL YEAH!"

We both stopped and said "Did you just say that??" and he answered yes (he looks up for yes, down for no). He then laughed until he cried until we got him to bed. Haha.

Yeah, the boys at my facility are troublemakers. I love them. :)

[sarabellum1]

yousoldtheworld, I LOVE YOUR STORIES!! I never thought of working in pediatrics, until reading your awesome posts! These stories truly made my day and made my heart smile. :loveya: I would love to work in pediatrics, especially being as humorous as you! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

[sarabellum1]

It's hard to think of funny things to report on here because usually when someone says something funny or sweet I run and tell everybody at work and I don't want to give myself away if any of them read this! I have soooo many stories though.

Fuzzywuzzy please tell! You always have great posts too!

[sarabellum1]

One of my favorite residents was a 240 lb. old man with a big ol potbelly. Every time it came to getting the little silver tab hooked together on his dress pants, I would struggle and bust a sweat...."Aw come on now, I know yous a good hooker!" he would say to me in his deep southern accent. Made me laugh every single time

I had a 92 year old patient that I loved to visit even if I wasn't assigned to her that day. I'd always come in and sit in her wheel chair while she was in her recliner and chat. She had been really sick lately, so I wasn't sure if she would be up for our chat. However, she told me to come and sit on her wheelchair for a quick chat. As soon as I sat down on it, a HUGE EXPLOSIVE fart sound ripped through the air and right under my butt! BUT I KNEW it wasn't coming from my a$$. I looked at her, my face all red and confused, and here she was cracking up hysterically. My 92 year old friend may have been physically sick, but she was well enough to slide a whoopie cushion under her wheelchair cushion before I came to visit her! God I love her! (This lady was driving around a cherry red H2 Hummer at 89 years old..rock on grandma!)