Funny Question

Updated:   Published

Hello, just curious about something.

I have a friend that was asked something by someone in upper management. He gave her a good job opportunity as a nurse, she declined due to the demands of that job but chose to stay in her current position. He sends her a message out of the blue and asks her if he could take her to dinner to discuss a matter. No details. Her response was sure no problem, but when time permits, trying to keep the peace and to leave it at that

What is your take on this? Do you think it could be manipulation or just a question? She doesn't want to be rude. Do you see any consequences from this? 

Wuzzie

4,896 Posts

I think boundaries are close to being crossed. 

JKL33

6,469 Posts

delrionurse said:

Do you see any consequences from this? 

Yes, possibly.

You don't say what the proximity is between these requests or whether the dinner invite is related to the previous job offer.

Whatever it is I would have him discuss his matter during his regular office hours at their regular place of business.

Trying to keep the peace can quickly become dicey. Being kind is one thing, entertaining questionable stuff is another.

Tell her there's ZERO reason to feel guilty saying something like, "I can try to schedule a time to come in and hear what's on your mind."

 

delrionurse

81 Posts

JKL33 said:

Whatever it is I would have him discuss his matter during his regular office hours at their regular place of business.

Tell her there's ZERO reason to feel guilty saying something like, "I can try to schedule a time to come in and hear what's on your mind."

 

This is exactly what I thought. It seemed to be odd to ask someone that since it would be elsewhere and not at the place of business. I even thought along the lines that he wanted a private meeting and some people prefer it that way. 

Tweety, BSN, RN

32,611 Posts

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac. Has 31 years experience.

Is it for an executive level or management level position?  Taking people you want to hire out for a meal is a common practice in the business world, usually it's lunch though.  

delrionurse

81 Posts

Tweety said:

Is it for an executive level or management level position?  Taking people you want to hire out for a meal is a common practice in the business world, usually it's lunch though.  

Yes, the worlds are different I suppose, people in the business world don't have any repercussions, no license to protect. It seemed odd because it's business, as healthcare is more serious business than oil & gas, technology or insurance, etc.  

Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN. Has 43 years experience.
JKL33 said:

 

I would have him discuss his matter during his regular office hours saying something like, "I can try to schedule a time to come in and hear what's on your mind."

 

     ^^^^this^^^^

HiddenAngels

790 Posts

Has 9 years experience.

Uhh, he's definitely going to hit on her.. lolol. Classic

If she doesn't like him that way, I would not go to dinner.

Ugggh, this is a slippery slope because he is UPPER MGMT....uggh, yea I would decline dinner.  Tell her to politely decline and say whatever "the matter" is we can talk about it at work.  

(This is me praying it's work related) 🙏🙏

Specializes in LPN. Has 8 years experience.

A man and a woman going to dinner alone? That is not a good idea especially if either of you are married. It is not rude to say NO to an offer like that. Anything he has to say can easily be said on the phone, email, or Zoom.

JBMmom, MSN, NP

4 Articles; 2,353 Posts

Specializes in New Critical care NP, Critical care, Med-surg, LTC. Has 11 years experience.
LPN_Computer_Guy said:

A man and a woman going to dinner alone? That is not a good idea especially if either of you are married.

I've had many dinners with men in the course of my careers, I used to travel a couple times a year for work and would often eat with a coworker. I also have a couple close friends from high school that I always meet up with when they're in town. Nothing was ever inappropriate about it. 

Specializes in LPN. Has 8 years experience.
JBMmom said:

I've had many dinners with men in the course of my careers, I used to travel a couple times a year for work and would often eat with a coworker. I also have a couple close friends from high school that I always meet up with when they're in town. Nothing was ever inappropriate about it. 

And that's fine if nothing ever happened in your situation but women still need to be careful.