Frustrated and Unsure

[ajlamb]

Hello! I am currently finishing my first semester as a nursing student. I am in the top % of my class with my grades thus far. I am a really structured and an organized person by nature and I enjoy being with people. However, the past several weeks, I have been having doubts about my decision to enter the field. I have been looking deep within myself as to why all of the sudden I feel different about this, when in the beginning I wanted this so badly. I can't decipher if this is a confidence thing, or what. I recently had my first clinical and it was a very disappointing experience for me. I am generally a relaxed person, I take things as they come and deal with them. But this was a different beast alltogether for me. I found that every time I went to enter my patients room, I felt like my feet were in concrete and my anxiety was off the charts. I know my vitals and work super hard in class. But everything just went out the window. The entire day. While the rest of my fellow students felt fullfilled and excited at the end of the clinical, I was incredibly sad and unfulfilled, to say the least. While I know this is difficult for anyone to interpret and it lies on my shoulders to make a decision on this, I was wondering if anyone else had a similar experience or had any insight of their own? Thank you in advance.

[NurseSpeedy, ADN, LPN, RN]

My first clinical day, I felt the same way you did... Only after I finally got the courage to go inside the room...the patient wasn't there...she was at the nurses station with a bedside table over her lap.

I got her to agree to go back to her room for a bath (she NEEDED it) only to have her quickly hurl the bath basin onto my white uniform-welcome to dementia and nursing-15 years later and I wouldn't change anything. Confidence comes with time, usually 6-12 months post licensure.

[WanderingNurse45]

hehe. I took Nursing because of the number of women- terrible idea.

Anyway, feeling of helplessness is very common and it really have a huge negative impact to anyone who is used to control things.

Usually, I encourage rookies to hold on because there is no turning back for them. For you, I think you have to really think about it NOW- stay or leave. There is no judgement. I'm just saying that the road ahead ain't no walk in the park. There are a lot of things to challenge you in Nursing.

Usually, a lot of us-nurses- grow out of it. I myself want to quit every now and then (even now) but I always find myself back in the game and usually stronger. What made me grow out of it and what made me stronger was that I understood what nursing is all about- to take care of people and none can do it better than us.

So if you decide to stay, try to exercise this more: think more about the patient. Let their recovery your fulfillment and not if you accomplished your task of the day. Let their satisfaction your happiness and not how you perform for the day.

[Emergent, RN]

I wouldn't make any rash decisions based on these feelings. I was terrified to even enter the patient's room my first clinical day. I hadn't worked in the medical field, I too was an excellent student, although I'm not a 'control enthusiast' (Great term!).

It's like learning to ride a bike or swim. Scary at first, but before you know it, it's second nature. I went and got a nursing assistant job in a hospital which really helped me get more comfortable. I've managed to survive and thrive many productive years in this vocation, even being that I march to a different drumbeat than many.

The fact that you're naturally organized and a people person are incredible assets!

[Libby1987]

Dissenter here. I listen to my anxiety. Not necessarily the one in the moment when I try something for the first time but definitely the one that nags at me.

There are a lot of nurses who stay only because they have already invested so much time and money into their education. There are many threads here of nurses who wished they had chosen another career path but too late and/or too expensive to start over.

If you have the luxury of time and money to keep at it to see how it goes that's one thing, but if this is a one time opportunity of obtaining a marketable education, I would give serious consideration to whether you are truly wired for today's nursing working conditions and viable opportunities.

[ajlamb]

Oh my. Never good NurseSpeedy. I am so glad you continued through it and enjoy your field. Thank you for sharing that story! I appreciate it very much and will remember that one.