friction with a provider

Why not talk to the provider directly? I've had my issues with drs over the years and the best way to tackle these sorts of things is head on. Yes, you are new. Yes, you have a lot to learn. But no, no one gets to treat you with such blatant disrespect. Go up to this person, ask if they have a minute and address it. If the provider blows you off again then know you have more avenues to explore. Go above his head because as you said, it's not about either of you. It's about the patients. I hate the whole "you have to prove yourself" mentality when it comes to new ED RNs, it's a stressful enough environment without that crap. We're a family and we support and hold each other up. Good luck and hang in there.

Why not talk to the provider directly? I've had my issues with drs over the years and the best way to tackle these sorts of things is head on. Yes, you are new. Yes, you have a lot to learn. But no, no one gets to treat you with such blatant disrespect. Go up to this person, ask if they have a minute and address it. If the provider blows you off again then know you have more avenues to explore. Go above his head because as you said, it's not about either of you. It's about the patients. I hate the whole "you have to prove yourself" mentality when it comes to new ED RNs, it's a stressful enough environment without that crap. We're a family and we support and hold each other up. Good luck and hang in there.

Yeah this!

An ice breaker I have used many times with MDs where I feel like there is an unexplained tension or hostility or with grumpy pts too where things are going poorly - I just say "Hey, Dr. Zhivago, I sometimes wonder if you and I got off on the wrong foot?" It's a conversation starter.

Also just keep improving and doing your best - it's tough to be a newbie. But there may always be that one haughty or difficult to get along with colleague - if you're doing your best then just try not to take those people's attitudes personally.

Good luck.

I agree with the others, sometimes whether right or not, you're gonna be tested. You have to have a pretty thick skin in the ER. Situations can be tense and and people can get snappy and some people want to see if you are gonna cut. Sometimes people like this will actually respect you if you stand up for yourself. Could be various dynamics going on and so your best bet is going to be to talk to this person head on. Doing it tactfully and privately. You can say "Dr. so and so, can I please speak to you for a minute" obviously when there is a little down time. Flat out tell them that you feel like maybe you guys got off on the wrong foot and tell them why.

Even if this person just doesn't like you, calling them out and letting them know this is a problem sometimes will get them to be a little more mindful of how they are treating you. Regardless I am a very firm believer that your first step should be with the person at hand.

Agree with everyone, speak with this doc privately, "when you did/said this, I felt ...., we are on the same team, I am trying to help the patient, etc" "in the future, could you please ...." See how that goes. I would find it odd and troubling if they were not responsive to that. Most ED docs I've worked with, even the rare Ahole always speaks with the primary nurse for the patient. It is extremely rude not to do so. In fact, I might say in a clear and direct voice, I'm the primary nurse on this, please speak with me directly. We are all adults, professionals, co-workers in fact. We all have a job to do and we need to treat eachother with respect and act like adults. Do unto others, etc.

It is hard to have these types of direct conversations, but they are necessary for professional and personal development. Transitioning from the floor is tough, a totally different thinking process, nevertheless you are still an experienced nurse, an adult worthy of respect. Some personalities in the ER are a bit rough around the edges and you've got to try to not take in occasional aggressions, confront them with respect and ask that they stop. You don't have to tolerate rudeness, but don't let it sink you and knock down your confidence. I had a nurse in my department interrogate me and try to degrade me in front of patients none the less, and I stood up to her and she stopped. She left me alone after that and in fact tried to be really sweet the next shift because she probably knew she was wrong and that I wasn't going to put up with that crap. I am still respectful of her and she is still a team member and I will help her, but I won't tolerate blatant disrespect.

thank you to everyone for their responses. I am going to see how the next couple of shifts go with this person, and address it from there.

Does your preceptor have any helpful insight about this? And what is his/her influence on the situation?

I agree with our colleagues, I would not let this situation continue. I really like "I'm concerned that we got off on the wrong foot" as a conversation starter because it avoids both "you make me feel..." AND "when you do x, I feel y"...both of which just seem a little too cumbersome for the issue at hand. I would also say something like 'I know I have a lot to learn as an ED nurse, I'd like to count on having your respect as a person and as a nurse who's excited for this opportunity'. Keep in mind these types aren't necessarily bad people - the ones I've seen are a little high strung and yes, they feel uncertain/anxious when they see a new face. Knowing that the new person cares and is working on learning often goes a long way with them. Regardless, they still have to be respectful.

I advise not waiting to see how the next couple of shifts go. Things will go much better if you can have this conversation NOT 'in the heat of the moment' or on the same shift where there has been a conflict. Plus, there's no sense waiting to get started on a better relationship with this person!