For Potential CRNA's Who Are Married or Have Significant Others

[kmchugh]

I had not mentioned this anywhere else, and kind of thought it was important enough to merit it's own thread.

If you are considering applying to CRNA schools, and you are married or otherwise involved in a serious relationship, then this applies to you. The decision to start a CRNA program is not only going to affect you, it WILL affect your significant other as well. Now is the time to have a long, heart to heart, without the TV conversation with them. There are up sides to becoming a CRNA that any spouse will enjoy, pay not being the least. But the path to CRNA also has it's downsides, and you owe it to your partner to let them know before you start what they are.

You need to let them know what all is involved. They must know that you will not be able to work much while you are in school, so that source of income is going to dry up. They also need to know that from day one of school, until the day you take and pass boards, your involvement with the relationship and family are going to be greatly curtailed. You will be studying, and studying very hard. You will probably be cranky, and if you are like me, noise while studying will drive you up the wall. You just won't have time for going out. Many of the family responsibilities you now have you may not have time for once you start.

You also must decide now that you are going to have to do what you can while in school to be there for your SO. Sometimes, you will have to put the books aside, and take them out to dinner and a movie, or whatever is special to you all. Believe me, there will be times you will have to force yourself to do this. And whenever you have a spare second or two, (like in bed, just before going to sleep) remind yourself that you could not be doing this without someone else's support. At the same time, remind them how you really feel about them. Reassurance helps.

I posted this thread, because looking back, I can remember people getting divorced, or nearly so, while in school. I can also remember some real tough times in my own marriage. If it weren't for the strength of my wife, I don't know if we would have made it. I know I wished someone had straight out told me this before I started.

Kevin McHugh

[London88]

I am half way through my first semester and I really do not find it bad. Yes we are in school everyday, but our classes are usually done by 1-2pm. Usually it is 1pm. On certain days we are in lecture for 3 hours. Our program also incorporates study days so that you do have time to catch up. Obviously thing will change when we are in clinical every day but we will not have as much didactic and fewer exams. I chose the three year route and find it very manageable. In my program the first semester is the toughest semester and we are half way through it. It also helps when you have a program director who will not allow students to spend ridiculously long hours in the clinical area. I love going to school in the Philadelphia area as four of the schools participate in co-op teaching so you get to sit in lectures frequently with the other schools, and there is an element of comraderie and we help each other out.

[NOPAIN]

London88:

Do you mind letting me know which school are attending? I

Thank you.

[zrmorgan]

thanks everyone who has posted to this thread...it is difficult to have that sit down talk even with the television off :), and try to explain to my wife the challanges that lie ahead...especially from a newbie like me who is not yet speaking from experience...it is good to have the been there done that crowd attest to my point.

[CRNAinTHEfuture]

I've only just begun the ADN program, so grad school (and CRNA license) seem to be far in the future. Having had a couple of years off with the births of my 2 children, I'm ready to give this my all. I've been researching for about a year now and nurse anesthesia is my final goal. During this research (in part, coming from this forum) it seem that the time I spend learning anesthesia will place big demands on myself, my husband and children. I've already talked to my husband about the time I'll need to put into school and the loss of income while I'm in anesthesia school. This is an issue we'll have to revisit before I begin, I'm sure.

What I'd like to know is what happens after graduation? What options does a CRNA have that will accomodate the desire to be close to your family? Does it "get better" after graduation?

Thanks for your help!!!!

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

Kevin - thanks for the positive post. Although I'm not interested in a CRNA - I appreciate that you are willing to extend yourself to reassure people. Thanks...btw I always find your posts very interesting.

[TennRN2004]

I know for CRNA school in my area... you are told before the interview that the CRNA route is a demanding discipline financially, emotionally, academically, and personally. If you do not feel you are up to the challenge and can handle the work, then their attitude is don't bother applying. While this may sound cold, I think it is good because when you get into the courses, there is no room for moaning about bills, family, etc. You knew it would be difficult. I think the key is to make sure your partner knows this difficulty as well. As for me, I too have been warning my husband while I was finishing my BSN that what is coming next will be even worse. We are already looking to the future and planning for me going back. But what I have emphasized to him is that he will benefit as well eventually when I finish. Communication is the most important thing!

As far as the stress of CRNA school, just thinking about it now stresses me out! A CRNA has the power and life of another person in his/her hands. It is a huge responsibility and we should be well prepared. I too agree though that a part time CRNA program would benefit those who need to work while in school and also give extra time for all the needed knowledge to sink in.

[Athlein1]

If you do not feel you are up to the challenge and can handle the work, then their attitude is don't bother applying. While this may sound cold, I think it is good because when you get into the courses, there is no room for moaning about bills, family, etc. You knew it would be difficult.

Yikes. Beware of a school that send out this sort of vibe. There are far too many schools that want to see their students do well to put up with this attitude.

And, no, you have no idea how difficult it is when you are an applicant. What you imagine is so different from the experience. There are days when it is just plain miserable, and there is nothing you can do about it.

[duckboy20]

What I liked was on our first day of orientation in the program they pulled all the spouses/loved ones to another room and had prior students talk to them about the stress it has on relationships. Lucky for me, the stress was not too great because of our solid relationship, but I have seen many people in my program with the stresses of it. Especially ones who's wives, or husbands, are a few states away while they are in the program. Sadly enough i know many people who have cheated on their spouses while in school and one right now just filed for divorce. Just keep your relationship strong, make sure you spend time with your family. As our director said, Family is most important, then school. You are no one without your loved ones!!

[athomas91]

and sometimes...even when they are well advised up front - they don't handle it so well....

[Athlein1]

and sometimes...even when they are well advised up front - they don't handle it so well....

Amen to that. Because you think you give them the information they need to be mentally prepared, but when you really don't have a true understanding of what life will be like in anesthesia school for yourself, how can you adequately prep them?!

[are-in]

OK Now I am more worried than I was before. In part because I just rec'd an offer to interview at one of my top choices, USC. My (new) wife is well prepared (as much as possible) for the upcoming changes and stressors. If I am accepted, I will be living about an hour and a half away and plan to come home maybe 1 day on the weekends. Does anyone else have experience managing a marriage from 100 miles away while in a program? Side note, my wife is very supportive and has always known that this was my goal.