For all mums out there

allnurses Guide · Apr 5, 2008

If she's asking it is absolutely the right time, because you don't want her to have to ask someone else and get filled with nonsense.

I told the entire third grade at my dd's school during their "sex ed" course, that it was simply your body's way of preparing you to be an adult. You aren't there yet, but the body is practicing for someday when you are ready to have a baby. That the blood flow was your body cleaning out the egg you didn't use, and what fluid does your body have available to clean with? Right! blood. (The School Nurse was so nervous about the class she had no answers for kids, I got tired of "umms' and just sort of took over. Lots of parents were invited, only about 3 of us showed up)

Good for you Mom! if you keep treating the subject very matter of factly without making a big deal of it, it just becomes another thing to ask you about. I just told my kids these were okay to discuss, but it was a private matter for talking about just at home or when we were alone, just like you did.

Tell DH the information DOES NOT equal permission for promescuity:yeah:

excelnursing · Apr 5, 2008

You are right on time and you tell her yourself or she will get it from someone else. My daugher said I didnt tell her soon enough, and I told her inthe 4th grade, so dont wait, just do it. You will be glad you did. :heartbeat

Agnus · Apr 5, 2008

It might to be wise it inquire what is prompting her questions so that you understand how best to answer them at this time. This also gives you the opportunity to clear up any errors in her thoughts.

It is a little like the old joke where the child ask where did I come from and it turns out he is asking because his friend came from Philadelphia.

bagladyrn, RN · Apr 5, 2008

My take on it as having raised a son and 4 other boys and as an OB nurse: Absolutely the right time to give them the information is when they ask or exhibit an interest in the subjects. Left to their own devices kids will discuss things and pass on all kinds of misinformation (When we were preteens my cousin beat up another little girl for telling her-pretty accurately- what her mom and dad did to make babies). Despite what some factions think, lack of knowledge and suitable information on risks and precautions never stopped kids from having sex, but may have facilitated their first pregnancy or disease.

Another consideration - it's much easier to start to discuss these subjects with a preadolescent when it is merely information rather than to wait until they are teenagers when it becomes intensely personal and embarassing to them.(and of course by then mom and dad were NEVER their age...)

Agnus · Apr 5, 2008

Let me explain my previous post. I do not mean to say do not answer her questions. By all means be factual and honest. If you are not her teacher she will look else where. If she is asking there is a reason. I (as a parent) want to know the reason, so I know how to address her immediate concern.

Life is full of wonders especially to a child and what is more full of wonder than reproduction and the wonderful adult body she will soon grow into.

BlueRidgeHomeRN · Apr 5, 2008

a recycled mum here (grandmother now, the joy of my life!)

i was always very matter of fact with my boys, from calling a member a member when they were tiny, to "how a [married!] mommy & daddy make a baby--with emphasis on the love, the mechanics as a sidebar, through talking about a&p and puberty [both genders] when they were 9-11; sexual feelings and our morals by the time they were 12 or 13.

it was always accurate, but in the context of our values. however, when son #1 was 18 and "shacked up" [and self supporting--we chose not to subsidize "adult" behavior] i reminded him frequently about the failure rate of bcp's and that condoms were a good idea!! :smokin:

finally saw the light, no pg with his , uhm, friend, and met and married the beautiful mother of my grandson, his wife, several years later.

so--be honest, clear, and get the basics of a&p and your values out there now!!

if they ask, answer!!! :rolleyes:

november17, ASN, RN · Apr 5, 2008

All the "mums" eh???? What about the dads???

My wife had our 3rd child when my first two were 4 and 5...they had lots of questions about her being pregnant and about the new brother that was on the way. That's when we started talking about reproduction.

luvschoolnursing, LPN · Apr 5, 2008

I'd start talking as soon as they start asking. I'd always tell my kids "just a little more" than what they asked, and I could tell if that was enough or they wanted to hear more. Unfortunately, I had to answer some questions before I thought they were ready, because of the media. Words like "rape", "incest" and "pedophile" are sad to have to explain to anyone at any age. Gotta teach them how to keep themselves safe, though.

Off topic and another rant entirely, but I just HATE those ED and herpes drug commercials. I don't think I should have to explain erectile dysfunction to my kids at any age!

Nicky30, BSN, RN · Apr 5, 2008

All the "mums" eh???? What about the dads???
My wife had our 3rd child when my first two were 4 and 5...they had lots of questions about her being pregnant and about the new brother that was on the way. That's when we started talking about reproduction.

Oooops!! Meant no offense. I only asked mums because of differences between DH and mines opinion.

To answer Agnus's question - my daughter is asking because I have just started my midwifery degree (and she wants to know what I do at work); friends of ours have recently had a baby and she wants me to have another one. :lol2: So of course she is very curious.

I think I am looking forward to our conversation tomorrow. Must be crazy lol.

Nicky.

Abishag · Apr 5, 2008

At what age do you think is appropriate to tell children about reproduction, physical changes, birthing etc?
My daughter is 7 but has given me quite a few curly questions lately, and I have answered her truthfully when she asks. The latest question was about sanitary products and I answered this too explaining what happens if a baby doesn't grow etc. She seemed fairly comfortable with the info and that she needed to be discrete with the info as others (like her brother) are not ready to hear about it yet.
I don't think I have necessarily given her too much info but my DH does. I have a couple of books on growing up and childbirth aimed at her age group - question is do I give her the info because she is asking for that stuff too???
:heartbeat
Nicky.

I'm pretty sure they only process what they understand. My mom tried teaching (my sister and I) about the birds and bees when my sister was 8 and I was 5. My sister still remembers the "lesson" but I do not. So I think even if you were telling a 5yrs old about the process they won't remember it past the second sentence...too boring I think.

I plan to educate my daughter as early as she asks. I don't think there is ever a "too early" time if they are asking the questions. Just give them basic information and if they keep asking further, keep answering. Let them guid you what they want to know.

MIA-RN · Apr 5, 2008

I think as long as kids are asking, its important to supply the answers. But be sure that you are appropriate.

I had a friend who went a bit...overboard...when her 4 year old asked. She got books and used appropriate language but unfortunately, all that resulted was a four year old who thought the word 'sperm' was hilarious and said it as often as he could.

I started with my son when he was around 12 or so (he never asked so I wanted to get the talk going) and my daughter, when she was about 10. (she asked!) Now at 20 and 14, they are used to mom bringing up all kinds of topics relating to sex. ed and I am glad that I provide them the correct information. Goodness knows what they are told by their friends.

I also tell them both their friends can come to me for confidential and correct info. if they need to. So far no takers but they know the offer stands.