New grad, bullied at report.

  1. I am a new grad and have been working on my own for a few months now. There is one specific nurse that has been knocking my confidence so far down that I have gone home crying. During report she questions EVERYTHING i say. When i tell he exactly what i read in a doctors note or what ive been told in report she STILL questions me. She makes noises that make her sound like she is disgusted with my report and ive catches her dirty looks towards me. I dont know what to do. It hurts my feelings and makes me feel like a horrible nurse. I even look up things extraaaa well when im going to give her report, but she still does it. No other nurse has done this to me. Im tired of it and it really is beginning to hurt my feelings. Advice?
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    About RN2012Newbie

    Joined: Sep '12; Posts: 20; Likes: 8


  3. by   DoeRN
    Give her the facts about the patient and any pertinent information. If she has questions then she can refer to the chart. And you can point her in the direction of the chart or pull the chart up for her if your are electronic. Give her h and p, testing results and scheduled testing, lab results, skin issues, brief system review anything abnormal, mental state, special procedures etc and anything else she can look up. Don't let her bully you. If you know you are giving all the facts and she doubts you let her look it up for herself.

    I had a nurse attempt to do this to me when I was a new grad. I asked her why was she questioning me especially if I am stating facts about this patient? Her eyes got big and she turned bright red and said she likes to know what's going on. I said I'll give you pertinent information and anything else like what time the patient drank a Coke last Wednesday you can look up yourself.
  4. by   VickyRN
    Confront her in private about how her mannerisms and constant harping during report are making you feel, and that you would like this unprofessional behavior to stop.
  5. by   HouTx
    Why is every sort of conflict called "bullying" these days? This appears to just be an interpersonal conflict - not a grand campaign to grind you into dust. Very common situation - Experienced (?) nurse with poor self esteem trying to feed her own ego by showing you how much better she is. You need to learn how to handle conflict - the first PP has provided a stellar example of how to do it. If you crumple into tears, you are serving her a big yummy bowl of ego kibble.

    Sorry, but the term "bullying" just drives me up the wall with all that it implies (poor me, I'm a victim).... just makes me want to call the waaaahhhhmbulance.
  6. by   LobotRN

    I had that happen, too! Realize the other nurse is the one who really has an issue here. Can all nurses give a better report? Yep, and I think no matter how long you've been a nurse, there are times when after a shift you've got the ducks in a row and paddling, give a great report, and go on. Then there are other days when you feel like you're lucky to know what pond you're in, if the pt is a boy or a girl, how old, and what they were admitted for. Over time hopefully you have many more shifts of the ducky kind!

    It sounds like you have taken on yourself to improve, which is good, but be careful of the slippery slope. It is not your job to articulate the entire chart, and as others have said, refer her back to the chart for the details about when the coca cola was consumed last week. That said.....

    Script yourself. It is so hard to respond to behavior like this when you don't have a plan, so make a plan. The two things I practiced saying, with a calm and interested expression, so that I was ready for THAT nurse:

    "Nursey Nurse, I get the sense that you are frustrated with the way I give report, and some of those frustrations seem to be coming out in front of the patient when we do bedside change of shift. It's not appropriate for the patient to be concerned or worried because they are perceiving difficulties between you and me, but am I missing something here?" THEN be super quiet and just listen. Pepper the convo with a few "I see" or "hmm, uh huh." Those phrases don't mean you agree with any of it, but do acknowledge that you have "heard." (That's "perfesshunal" )

    If there is legitmate feedback, say thanks "for pointing that out, that's a worthwhile suggestion." BUT if Nursey Nurse goes on a vent, wait for the nurse to run out of steam, let the silence brew for a few seconds, and then say very calmly, "Nursey Nurse, I've heard what you've said. In report I will provide you with the name, age, sex, admitting dx, admitting physician, a summary of the H/P, mobility status/fall risk, time last medicated for pain, current LDAs with I/O, and significant events from my shift and any orders that will likely be beneficial to know on your shift. My charting is up to date and other items are available in the chart and nursing notes should you need them."

    Take care, good luck, let us know how it goes!

  7. by   LobotRN
    RIGHT ON! Not every conflict is bullying!
  8. by   Testa Rosa, RN
    I still have certain nurses who I just hate giving report to; however, in time I learned it was their problem, not mine. You will too. Just give the best report you can.

    Eventually even the Bratiest Biotches learned that they would rather get a pt from me (a day shift nurse who hates for my pts to be laying in their urine or filth, who makes sure all her pts are clean, who makes sure to followup on all the day orders I could, who hates to endorse anything I should have done on my shift like new IV's and central dressing line changes, and who always makes sure my IV hydration bags have at least 200cc in them before report as a rule) than others. Also, they learned to trust that I could give a half-way decent report, even if they still don't look me in the eye and act put upon the minute I go to speak. Granted, I had to work my A$$ off with little gratitude or reward from my coworkers, but I took pride in the fact I was giving excellent care (better care than the next shift...even if that RN had years more experience than me, the truth was they often were just mean and lazy so I learned not to take their attitude personally).

    And then there are the "Nervous Nellies" ....the ones that are so anxious about bedside nursing they want to know every fact and figure--those I don't resent as much as the Braty Biotches as I get where they are coming from and feel their pain. It's tough taking on a scary, acute care pt for night shift and you want to know all the detail you can. Often I find I've forgotten more than I can remember by the time it gets to report. Especially now that I've become more experienced and do not rely on my brain sheet as much. I have to be careful not to be too quick with the facts for fear of making the Nervous Nellies more anxious. It helps them to have more info and details than the Braty Biotches who I tend to be very factual and brief with.

    What rankles me is the Bratiest Biotches who act so superior when I'm giving report are the worst at giving me report the next AM! The regular RN's are good reporters and the Nervous Nellies are the best. Go figure.

    This is all just my humble opinion based on my tenure. But I do know It gets better. I promise. I just laugh at how much I let them get to me.
  9. by   RN2012Newbie
    Thank you all for your posts.I guess I just need to learn to make myself not get upset when she drills me at report. All I can do is tell her what I was told in report, info from shift, and what I read in the doc notes. If she doesnt like my report luckily she's on days and has the advantage of talking with the docs. Unlike nights where I can only go off the report i receive, even when i get ****** reports, and off what the doc notes say. I just wish she wouldnt drill me even after i tell her exactly what i read in the doc notes... It just sucks being a new grad and having things like this bring me down. Im prepared for report and read up on all my notes, yet still feel inadequate. Ive heard another nurse tell one of my charge nurses that she didnt want to give this specific RN report because she too never feels "adequate" enough for her. Guess I just need to suck it up and continue to give report to the best of my abilities...
  10. by   fromtheseaRN
    belittling you with passive aggressive behavior and snide remarks is bullying. however, your response and how you let it affect you are your own choice. i think the hyper-sensitivity and hurt feelings is common with new grads, i am a new grad in a hospital and i definitely felt it for my first few weeks. there is some great advice here, i think the most effective thing you can do is call her out on it. in my own experience, that puts a stop to that behavior. i had a nurse who kept asking me things that were not necessary to the immediate care and could be found if she looked in the chart. she kept saying things like "you need to give me this info because i don't have time to dig through the chart for it" (things that are easy to see for oneself, like basic care orders, etc... not to mention each shift is supposed to review orders, and chart that they reviewed all orders, at the beginning of each shift). one night i finally replied that maybe she should work on her time management skills, and then she would be able to look it up herself. she hasn't given me grief since then.
    nursing is a team effort, and situations like this don't do anything to help the team be successful with patient care.
  11. by   loriangel14
    It's probably just her way. I worked with a woman that was very thorough and heaven help you if you didn't know every detail about your patients when you gave her report. Yes indeed "drilling" was what she did every time you talked to her about a patient. But I learned it was just her way. She was also an awesome nurse and a wonderful human being.She just retired and I will miss her.
  12. by   SwansonRN
    Happens to me. They're just coming in for their shift, you're leaving, two different dynamics and states of mind. It always bugs me when I work my butt off all day and the next nurse comes in and just tears you down because they would have gone about the day completely differently or you left out a small bit of information in your report. Just do the best you can, deliver all the information the nurse needs to know in order to safely take care of the patient, and be on your way. Sometimes I'll nicely point out their behavior and that usually embarrasses them enough to behave for the rest of report.
  13. by   NurseFrustrated
    I've been a nurse for almost 8 years and there is one nurse at my job that is so nit-picky during report it drives me crazy. She comes in to work with the attitude of "what did the last shift not do" or "did they leave one thing for me to do?". She literally comes in to work looking for things. It makes me so mad because I am NOT lazy. I can't stand laziness in people at work. I pride myself on having a good work ethic. I do my job, every last task. I go above and beyond to get things done, including things that have been left for me from the previous shift or even from the previous day. I make a point of not leaving anything for the next shift. I stay until it's done. I run myself ragged and she still will find something to question me about. She makes me feel like I am a bad nurse or a lazy one because there was maybe ONE thing that I didn't know (that I was never told from the previous shift for example). I don't have time to read the entire chart when I first get to work. I look at my Kardex page and go by what I get in report. Later when I get time I will look up more things. I find tons of things that the previous shift didn't tell me and I don't freak out about it.

    There are some nights I am so busy I am happy that the patients are all still alive when I leave. The last thing I need is her being a total jerk acting like I have been sitting with my feet propped up playing on my cell phone all night or something. I leave work very angry even if I have had a good night otherwise when I have to give her report. She would die if she worked my shift and had all the things left for her that I have left for me from the previous shift (IVs to start, fluids to hang, dressings to change, staples to remove, specimens to collect, new admission paperwork, new doctor's orders, blood to hang, etc.). She has NOTHING left for her to do by me and still acts like a hateful nit-picker. But she's like this with everyone. All the nurses on my shift say the same thing. They hate giving her report too. It really grates on my nerves.
  14. by   bubblejet50
    I work with a nurse who literally takes 40 minutes to give report to when thr others are 10-15min max. The long report nurse has been an rn for 35yrs in the icu and asks me a million questions. Im patient and just tell him the important information but he is just old and set in his ways. He does not like electronic systems and I think its more that than really questioning me as a nurse.